His Surrogate|✔

Chapter 23: Sweet Talks To A Complete A$$

I watch as the waves hit the rocks...so raw and peaceful. I bring the, now cold, coffee to my lips and sip in the coffee. I look up at the stars and stare at the beauty of the quite sky. I close my eyes and listen to the waves.....

Josh 

The memory of our fun trip consumes me. The laughter he brought today was unforgettable. It was nice seeing this side of him. I can't believe he is letting me stay here after EVERYTHING and be ok with me. I never saw my life being so complicated than it already was. Josh angers me but, brings another side of me. Good and bad...

I open my eyes and look at the ocean. 

Ocean 

Tears form...I can't believe she is gone. Ocean deserved to live and I couldn't even give her a chance at life. 

I cry softly...

I feel body heat coming from behind me. Turning quickly, I see Joshua

"What's wrong?"He whispers bringing me close to him

"I-She deserved t-to live"I break down into his arms

He brings his hand to the back of my head and soothes me.

"Noel, you did everything you could"He whispers 

"You all say that but, it doesn't change the fact that she's gone. I wasn't even supposed to fall in love with her and I did! W-what was I thinking Josh? You were just going to take her right after"I cry more

"Noel"He names 

I step away and wipe the tears "Joshua, I am begging you not to say those words"

He pauses and nods in response. I walk pass him and head inside the room

"I just don't understand"I speak

"Understand what?"He questions locking the door

"How can you tell me it's going to be ok or that it's alright that I lost your child? I mean you act so calm, aren't you mad? I lost your baby"I look up at him from the bench 

"You think I am not mad?!"He chuckles in frustration

"If you are, you aren't showing me. I've been the realest one yet and you act like its normal" 

"I am mad, I lost my second child Noel! I fucking lost another one. You bet I am angry. The way I see it, is I can either scream and hate the world or I can move on. I don't stop thinking about them and what would life be like with them. So stop acting like your the only one hurting and get over yourself"He shouts

"I'm going crazy in my head. And then feeling like I was the only one feeling this pain-"

"Why do I need to prove to you or show you anything"He questions coming closer

"You kissed me a earlier, proving to me something then. So why is this any different?"

He pauses "Because it was different"

"Right"I sigh looking away

I feel the bed dip next to me and I feel his eyes on me "I have been seeing someone-"

"Already!?"I jump up "I mean-"

"Calm your a$$ down, and sit. I am not seeing someone like that. At least I'm not the one sleeping around"

I gasp 

"Noel"

I growl at him for bringing that up as I sit back down