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"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?"
Jake looked over in me, in the passenger seat of his car, as we were parked outside the Suffolk county house of the correction where John was sent to until the court date that was approaching very fast.
"I need to talk to him."I stated blatantly as we sat looking at each other, with country music playing quietly in the background.
"I don't want you to keep having nightmares, and I'm worried about you Bris."He explained, and I looked down at my fingers, playing with them.
He was right about one part, I had nightmares the whole time we were on this road trip, and Jake ended up staying in the same hotel room as me because that was the only option that could help me feel safe.
"I need to talk to him Jake, Maybe I just need clarity to stop the nightmares."I threw my hands up, because honest to god I was getting no sleep no matter what I did. Maybe this would stop the nightmares. Maybe all I needed was Closure.
Jake shut off the car, and we headed in. As soon as we opened the two glass double doors, it smelt like regret. A lady pointed to us and made a motion for us to come the glass window. "What could I do for you today?" I asked politely," May we visit an inmate?" "Sure, And is this your boyfriend?" I stood there for a moment in complete and utter silence glancing at Jake. "No miss. He's just a really good friend."
As we sat down in the chairs., he kept glancing at me. Whenever I looked at him, he would look away. I ignored it but suddenly wondered, "Is there something wrong with me?" Then, out of nowhere, the lady announced over the intercom," Bristol and company, please head down this hallway with the officer at the door to the right please." I jumped in my seat and when I went to go stand up, Jake reached for my hand. I flinched and avoided the motion and kept walking.
I was brought down to an empty table, while Jake stayed behind, sitting on a bench in the room. It took a few minutes till the doors to the cells opened, and John came out, with an officer holding the cuffs on his hands.
He looked like crap to say the least. He looked like he hadn't slept in a while, with purple bags under his bloodshot eyes, his brown hair all messed up, and he looked like he wanted to cry.
We sat in silence for a few moments, before he spoke up, and it was barely above a whisper, "Hi."
"Hi."We looked at each other up and down, and I took a very good look at him.
John had an orange jumpsuit on, with large cuts on his hands already, he had a bruise on his right cheek and a few tear stains on his cheeks.
"I'm sorry.."He whispered, and my eyes shot up at him. Those two words I haven't heard those words in years, not since we first started dating, "I'm so sorry Bristol."
I stared at him with my blue eyes wide. No way did he just say that. No way in hell was this real.
I swallowed hard, and looked back down at my hands before speaking, "What are you sorry for?"
"For everything I've done to you in the past year and a half. Even then."His green eyes had tears pooling in them, and tears started to fill my eyes.
"I've been living in fear for four months. I've been living in fear of getting hit in the face, or being afraid that just maybe, maybe someone will smack me right across the face for no damn reason."I started, and he strangled a sob, "I've been having nightmares for months because of you John."
"Oh god Bristol." the sob he had strangled came out, "God damn it Bristol I hate myself. I hate myself for everything I did to you. I should be dead. You should have let Tyler kill me."
"No!"I slammed my hands down on the table, startling everyone including myself, as Jake mouthed over to me, "Do you want me to come over?"
I shook my head before turning back towards John, who looked at me in disbelief, "You should hate me, Bristol, after everything I've done to you, how could you not hate me?"
"I can't hate anyone. It's in my blood not to hate anyone."I mumbled, and He nodded.
"Jake."He started, and I furrowed my eyebrows, "Jake is the right guy for you. Please give him a chance."
I looked back at Jake before looking back at John,
