1: Evan

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"Because there's Zoe... This is about my sister." Evan felt his chest tighten as Connor turns to him in a rage, his eyes seething with anger. He felt his throat collapse as Connor's frame loomed towards him. Evan hook his head violently in objection.

"No, no I-"

"You knew I would find this." Connor stared down at the pages in his hand. Evan was confused, as far as he was aware he was the only one in the lab at the time. He had no idea Connor was still in school let alone the same room as him. The whole idea was madness.

"What?" Evan fidgeted with the frayed ends of his polo, picking off the loose bits of cotton absent-mindedly. Connor nodded slowly, his eyes going wild.

"You saw I was the only other person in the computer lab, so you wrote this, and you printed it out so that I would find it." Everything was becoming a blur, Evan's head began to spin. None of this made sense!

"Ah, why- why would I do that?" Connor glanced up from the letter and grabbed Evan by the shirt.

"So I would read some creepy shit that you wrote about my sister and freak out right?" He let go of Evan and began pacing back and forth, he chuckled darkly, "And then you can tell everyone that I'm crazy, right?" Evan was started to hyperventilate, his hands were becoming clammy and he could hardly breathe. Not to mention his head was pounding with confusion.

"No, wait. I don't even... what?" Connor stuffed the letter into his satchel and pointed a finger into Evan's chest.

"Fuck you!" Though it wasn't a shout, he spoke just above a whisper which was almost more terrifying. It seemed like a threat, and Connor Murphy is not the kind of person you want to be in bad books with.

"But, I really, I need that back. Please. Can you just, can you just please give it back?" Connor laughed and stormed off outraged. Evan panicked.

"Please its, its, its for my... therapist!" Evan's voice broke at the last word. He didn't know what he was thinking, Connor clearly seemed done with the conversation and another couple of words wasn't going to turn him around. Or so Evan thought. But Connor stopped dead. He loosened the grip on his satchel and turned slowly to face Evan, his expression blank and unreadable. Fumbling over his words Evan tried to explain.

"It's an assignment?" Evan blinked back tears, and began picking the skin of his nails anxiously, "My therapist told me to do it, to write these letters to myself... "Dear Evan Hansen today is going to be a good day and here's why?' And I was due to have an appointment with him today and he expected me to have one written." Connor looked at the letter for several moments before speaking.

"But you wrote here that today wasn't a good day, isn't that defeating the purpose?" Connor's voice was deadly clam, a shocking comparison from the fit of rage he expressed only moments before. Evan shrugged and focussed his gaze on the ground trying to avoid eye contact.

"Maybe? But I mean there is no point lying to myself either. Some people just aren't meant to be seen I guess." He looked up, his eyes locking with Connor's. And in that moment, just for a split second he thought he saw... well pity? No, not pity. Sympathy? No not quite that either. It was hard to explain, perhaps a more accurate description is understanding. As Evan looked into Connor's eyes he felt like for the first time in his life someone understood. Which is stupid considering he is Connor Murphy, the school-shooter-chic weed smoker of the school. With a rich family how could he possibly understand what Evan was going through? And yet something lingered in those eyes, even well after the he turned around and finally left the lab.

...

"Wait start again. So you met Connor Murphy in the lab and he stole your kinky sex letter about his sister?" Jared was both shocked and amused. But mostly amused. Evan shook his head.

"It's not, it's not a sex letter," he practically whispered, such topics made him uncomfortable, "its an assignment for my therapist." Jared burst out laughing. Evan rocked back and forth nervously.

"Well? What do I do?" Jared just kept cackling.

"What do you do? Man you're fucked! You realise this shit is goin' viral right?" Evan frowned at him completely confused.

"What?" Jared patted him sympathetically on the back.

"Connor Murphy is going to post your letter on the internet Evan. For everyone to see, he'll expose you to the big wide world. There is nothing you can do Evan. You will have no where to hide, even in your khakis and those fucking shoes everyone will know how much of a loser you are." Evan bit his lip.

"But how do you know?" Jared shook his head and casually shrugged his shoulders.

"Cause that's what I'd do. Hang in there buddy."

For three days Evan carried on as normal. There was no sign of Connor, and Evan didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. This wasn't exactly an irregular occurrence, Connor often took multiple days off in a row. There were rumours that he went away to get weed, or join a gang. So there should be nothing to worry about, except this time felt different. I mean first day back, Connor finds Evan's note then disappears for three days? It just seems too good to be a coincidence. But then one day as Evan was pulling out his books from his locker he saw someone walk past in his peripheral. He looked and sure enough it was none other than Connor Murphy. Evan blinked a couple of times to make sure it wasn't a dream. It wasn't. He looked completely normal, well normal by Connor Murphy standards, which didn't say much but still. Evan didn't know whether to feel nervous or relieved, so he just tried to carry out his day. History was second, then lunch. He sat in silence as he always did. He sat near Jared who always saved him a seat- only on the condition that Evan would tell his mum that Jared was nice to him to that his parents would pay for his car insurance. It was a fair compromise. Evan's nerves began to ease as the day went on. It seemed like nothing had changed, like the computer incident has never happened. It was a miracle. At least he thought it was... but like most times, Evan spoke too soon. Next was maths, where they would be given their assignments.

"Alright class, today I will hand out your assignments. For this task you will be working in groups of two-" Everyone immediately looks around, signingally their friends to group up, "Ah I didn't say you were choosing your groups. Your partners will be assigned to you, along with your papers. Right who is first? Ah, Jeremy you will be working with Michael."

"Yass! My man!" A guy in a red jumper and headphones stands up and high fives the guy next to him. Guess they got lucky.

"Alright next we have Lafayette and Alexander." Two guys from the middle of the room stand up and shake hands.

"Immigrants. We get the job done." They sit back down.

"And now we have Veronica and Martha, followed by JD and Heather Chandler." A dolled up girl dressed in red sighs dramatically as she studies her long acrylic nails. She rolls her eyes.

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" The teacher continues down the last until she reaches the bottom of the page.

"And last but not least, Evan Hansen you will be paired up with Connor Murphy." Evan could have sworn his heart stopped beating right there. He looked around the room- he didn't even know Connor was in his class. He scanned the rows or desks in front of him frantically, but then he felt someone lean over his shoulder and whisper into his ear.

"Might help to look behind you Hansen. Just a thought." Evan reluctantly turned around slowly to find Connor Murphy sitting at a desk directly behind his. Connor smiled and gave Evan a quick half-wave. Evan slowly turned back around and sunk into his chair. This year was going to be worse than he thought.

... 

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