Unlikely Lovers

14: Evan

Evan was in a panic all day. He couldn't focus at all, on anything. At lunch he just sat there biting his nails while Jared and Alana talked about god knows what, Evan definitely wasn't listening. He kept thinking back to earlier that morning, to Connor's wounded expression as he left Evan in the hall. But it wasn't just Connor that made Evan nervous, it was Zoe too. Before school Zoe caught Evan at his locker and asked if he wanted to walk with her. He shrugged and thought yeah why not. He asked Zoe where Connor was but she said he was still asleep, and it was best to just leave him until he woke up and could just walk himself to school. So they walked the corridors for a bit, talking about school and Zoe's jazz band rehearsals when she stopped him in the cafeteria. Evan kept flash backing to that moment.

"You know you're a really nice guy Evan." She whispered close to his ear as she bit her lip. Evan remembered feeling queasy and suddenly wanted to bolt out of the school. He just nodded.

"I think you're really sweet." Evan laughed awkwardly but before he had time to reply her lips were on his. It was only a second but Evan didn't really know what do to.

"Ah um thanks, see you around." And he bolted. He just got kissed by Zoe Murphy, his biggest high school crush of all time, and he bolted. Evan just felt so awkward and he couldn't stop thinking of how much he screwed up. He had to wipe his hands on his pants every couple of minutes because they were sweating so bad. Jared was starting too get concerned.

"Look man are you okay? Do you need a paper bag? You are having serious trouble breathing..." Evan shook his head violently, refusing to make eye contact. Jared just nodded. "Okay man, just, just take it easy alright?" Evan nodded, he nodded a lot. Jared just patted him on the back. As Evan walked to his next class he couldn't help but think about that kiss. Not in a creepy way, but like it was his first kiss after all. It wasn't what he expected. Maybe that was just because of shock, or just his limited knowledge on romantic relationships but it just didn't feel... right. There was no... electricity, like no spark or fuzzy warm feeling that they talk about in books and movies and on Instagram posts. It just felt, ordinary. Evan contemplated talking to Jared about it but decided against the idea, he didn't really feel like getting a sex talk from Jared. Yeah it was only a kiss, but Jared always liked to take things that extra mile.

When school ended, Evan got home and went to do some homework but all the words just blurred together. He shut his textbook and took out his phone.

Evan: Connor?

Evan: Connor please i just want to talk

Evan: Connor are you okay?

No response. Evan took out his laptop.

From: Tree.ranger@outlook.com

To: teen.angst@gmail.com

Subject: Are you okay?

Dear Connor Murphy,

Please talk to me, i thought I'd email you in case you didn't want people seeing our texts on your phone but i need to know if you are okay.

You're scaring me Connor.

Sincerely, your greatest and most dearest friend,

Me

He clicked send, hours later there was no response. Evan went and had dinner, he just heated up some leftover pizza and sat on the couch and let the background noise from the TV wash over him. When he was finished he got ready for bed but even as he lay there in the dark, sleep would not come over him. So he just lay there staring at the ceiling, just hoping Connor was okay.