46: Evan

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Evan could feel his heart pounding as he took his seat. It was the first night of Connor's production. He knew he shouldn't have come but couldn't help himself. He just wanted to see Connor, so badly it felt like it was killing him slowly. He sat there anxiously, chewing his nails until the curtains opened. The intro started, the girl who played Wendla began to sing "Mama Who Bore Me", Connor recognised her. Her name was Christine Caniglia, Jeremy said she was a theatre freak and auditioned for just about any and every role said could get her hands on. The stage went black, transitioning to the next scene. Evan gasped as the lights came back on, and he saw Connor sitting on one of the chairs in the front row, dressed in his suit as Melchior. Evan blinked as many times as he could to keep the tears away, words couldn't explain how much he ached for Connor, how much he missed him. Evan's eyes locked onto Connor, as he recited his lines. Perfectly. Of course he did it perfectly. Evan never doubted him for a second. Evan couldn't help but smile as Connor grabbed the microphone out from his jacket. Evan held his breath as Connor sang "All That's Known". His voice was haunting, sending chills up Evan's spine. Connor's vocals did not waver as he stared out at the crowd before him.

"This is way too good for a school play." Evan turned towards the whispering voice. It was Michael. "Oh hey Evan. You here for Connor?" Evan nodded sadly. Michael gave him a small smile.

"Jeremy lost a bet with me so i sighed him up for the musical, he's playing Moritz." Evan nodded as he turned back around and watched as "The Bitch of the Living" came on. Evan had to admit this was one of his favourite parts in the musical, he tried to control his excitement. Evan suppressed a laugh as everyone was dancing around and jumping on chairs, while Connor's character had to sit there pretending nothing was happening. He did a good job of it too. Until his solo. Evan beamed as Connor stood up on his chair and sang at the top of his lungs, and slowly Evan saw the smile creep across Connor's face. Evan felt tears in his eyes. He was happy for him, he had worked so hard for this and and just seeing him perform up there, for a minute it made Evan happy too.

Evan watched the rest of the performance practically on the edge of his seat, his eyes fixated on Connor as he moved across the stage. Evan felt his face heat up at every one of Melchior's smirks or solo pieces. At the curtain call Evan clapped as hard as he could, feeling the tears rolling down he cheeks but he didn't care. He couldn't help but beam Connor as he took his bows. Evan was proud. So proud of Connor, he deserved the glory, the praise and applause. After all was said and done and everyone was leaving the building, Evan was scrambling around for something to write on. He found some paper and a pen and wrote down a quick message. He bumped into Christine.

"Oh hey, um can you give this to Connor?" Christine smiled.

"Sure! So tell me, what did you think of the show?" Evan beamed.

"It, it was incredible. Honestly." Christine squealed.

"I know! I was amazing, you are right i was the best one on stage! But I'm really modest so i don't like to show off about it. Bye!" Evan nodded slowly as Christine skipped off backstage. She must have been full on to work with Evan thought, he just hoped Connor got the note.

...

It was pouring with rain by the time Evan came out of the school. Luckily his mum was already waiting in the car for him. He bolted over and jumped in the door, trying his best to stay dry.

"Hey honey how was the performance?" Evan nodded as he reached over and clicked in his seatbelt. 

"Yeah it was really good." His mum nodded, her happy tone disappearing, her face full of concern for her son. She put a hand on Evan's knee.

"You okay honey?" Evan sighed and nodded slowly.

"Yeah mum, I'm-I'm okay." His mum smiled as she started the car. Evan watched as they drove off, the school disappearing in the distance. He smiled to himself. It didn't hurt any less. Evan wasn't expecting it to go away. He still missed Connor like crazy, but after that night, just seeing Connor up on that stage was just what Evan needed to get by... to make the pain bearable for just a moment. And that, that was enough. 

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