Loving You Is Difficult ✔

Chapter 35

So Jack's mum asked me to go and see him. Is that necessary? What would I say to him? We haven't talked in 2days so I don't think I would know what to say to him. Do I want to go? I miss him. I miss his touch. I miss his smile. Ok. I think I'm gonna go.

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I can't believe I'm doing this. Standing in front of his door,I'm still contemplating if I should go. But I'm already here. It's not in going to make up with him. She just said I should talk to him. Do I really want to do this? I'll just talk to him and go. I just want to see how bad his mum said he is. Staying here any longer would make me so things that I don't want to do. Here it goes...

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!!

"Who is it? Don't come in." I heard him say. He sounded like a drunk. He sounded as if he was tired of life. He shouldn't kill himself because of me.

Coming in,I see something I've never seen in a while. He looks so depressed                I don't think I used the right word. He looks so disgusting. The whole house stinks. Dirty dishes everywhere. Dirty clothes everywhere. And dirty him on the floor. His hair is out of place. I can't believe I used to love him.

You still do. You can't deny it.

"Hi Jack" I said. I didn't know if he would want to see me,considering the fact that I haven't returned his calls.

"Hi. I wasn't expecting you." He said happily.

"I wasn't expecting to see myself here either." I said,trying not to cry because seeing him like this was making me teary.

"I'm sorry Amy. I don't know what else to say but please,I'm deeply sorry. Ladies don't get to me. I just use and dump them but you're different. I haven't stopped thinking about you. I havent stopped thinking of how I messed up. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just didnt want to force you to have sex with me so I thought if I got it somewhere,there won't be any problem but I was terribly wrong. Please Amy Johnson forgive me. I promise to be a better person. Anything you want me to do, I'll do it as far as I get you to love me again. I know you still do but you don't know if you're ready to forgive me. I'm very sorry. I haven't being able to think straight since you told me never to show my face again. Please say something. Your silence is killing me." He said,apologetically.

I didn't know what to do or say. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I kissed him. I had to. I couldn't just sit and watch him cry. Seeing a guy cry makes me soft.I'm not that stone hearted. I'm very sure he has learnt his lesson. Kissing him has closed alot of wounds in my body. The wounds he caused. He might be stinking but I didn't care. I still loved him. I never stopped. I don't think I'm that strong when it came to love. Love makes you weak. Love makes you do incredible things. Things like kissing a dirty man. When you're in love,it makes you feel like a new born child. That's the way I was feeling right now.

"I've forgiven you Jack. I can't stay mad at you for a long time. I tried to but it didn't work. You've become a part of me. I didn't think I could let you go like that." I said,not believing that I just kissed a dirty man.

"Thank you so much Amy. I won't do anything to make you sad again. I won't make that same mistake again." He said happily. He sounded like a 5year old that was just permitted to go one of his favourite rides.

"You're welcome. Your brother got one of my friends pregnant and he doesnt want to take the full responsibility of the child." I said. I didn't know why I said it. It was an involuntary action.

"OMG. That bastard. What is she going to do about it?" He said,touching my hand softly.

"Nothing. She wants to forget about it. She has decided to raise the child on her own." I said,trying to arrange his hair with my hand.

"That's bad. I already feel sorry for her. I'll call him." He said.

"Don't bother calling him. She's ok. I want you to promise me one thing. Whatever you want,sexually,tell me. If i want to do it,I'll tell you. If i don't,I'll still tell you. I want us to understand each other. I want us to trust each other." I said.

"Done. I'm just happy that you didn't let go of us. I already lost hope. Thank you." He said with remorse.

"Stop thanking me. What we need to do now is to get your house tidy. How can a doctor be living here? A fine one at that. So let's get to work." I said

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I can't believe I forgave him. Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing? Well I'm happy. We're happy. That's what matters. What I need to do right now is to call the girls and tell them. I just pray that they won't be mad at me,especially Mya.

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