Window Buddies (Seventeen JunHao)

"Jun Why did You Kiss Me?"

~Back to current time~

"Minghao I feel bad. I didn't know you had to go through all that." I said as I patted his back to try and comfort him.

"No it's fine Jun, it's just something I needed to tell you sooner or later." I looked at how depressed Minghao seemed, anyone would be that way if their close friend passed on. He looked down at his twirling fingers and tried to hold his tears in the best he can. I even hear him sniffling.

After I saw that he finished saying what he had to, I immediately hugged him. While he was in my arms he didn't struggle or anything, rather he just let me comfort him the best I can.

I squeezed tightly onto both of Minghao's shaking shoulders and brought his soft head of hair down to my chest. I hushed him cooing little words for him to calm down.

"I'm such a terrible person, no one will ever like me. I'm rotten, I'm a killer." I heard Minghao mumble to himself.

I pushed off of Minghao and looked him in the eye with the most serious face I can possibly make, "Minghao what you did back then doesn't define who you are now. You are not a horrible person, you meant no harm in your actions."

"But still Jun, I was the reason who killed him. Who let him kill himself, it was me who did it to poor Han." Minghao cried out tears finally spilling.

"Minghao is it your fault that you were being bullied?" I said lifting his head to look me in the face.

"No" he croaked out

I nodded, "Is it your fault that Han wanted to protect his best friend from the bullies?" I said

He shook his head, "No, he wanted to see me happy," Minghao said trying to stop the tears from flowing.

I grabbed his face and glared at him pissed off to the max, "And let me ask you Minghao if Han were to see you right now do you think he would be happy? Happy that you are throwing yourself down and blaming yourself on something you had no control over."

"No, he wouldn't" he shook his head roughly.

"Look Minghao, I am not telling you and I definitely am not in a place to tell you to forget and move on. But years have gone by so you shouldn't let it affect everything in your life. And I am pretty sure Han would like that." I said showing Minghao a small smile.

"I know that it just feels like I betrayed him and now he is getting his revenge," he said

"Hey, Minghao." I started to yell. "From the way, you have been talking about him, do you really think that he would do such a thing to you? Do you think he would completely forget all the times you had together because he wanted to get revenge, to hurt you back? Is he really that type of person??" I don't know why I was getting mad at him, but it just turned me the wrong way in how Minghao would think that about Han.

"No....." Minghao was breaking down again. "How could I ever think that. Han is the bestest friends I can ever wish for. How can I even think that he wanted revenge over something like that."

I looked down at the phone he was showing me and saw how the message was very brutal, I don't blame him for just putting any conclusion that popped in his head, he was lost. Minghao looked really panicked and I honestly had zero clue in what to do.

So I just deleted the messages and blocked the account and turned his phone off.

I reached out my arm towards Minghao and pulled his hand so, he can come closer to me. I don't know what I was doing but, I knew that I wanted to wipe the sadness off his face. Minghao faced me and I went for it.

I pushed my lips onto his, with my eyes open I clearly saw his reaction. No surprise that he was shocked by my actions.

Once he realized what was happening he pushed me away. He held his hands up to his mouth in pure shock as his face got redder. I had no idea how my face must have looked like, "Minghao....I."

"You what Jun. Tried to kiss me while I was in such a state. No, you did kiss me but why?" Minghao said a mix of almost every emotion that exist: sad, flustered, embarrassed, and confused.

"I" I had nothing to say as my foot bounced on the floor.

"Jun answer me," he said reaching out his hands to grab my hands softly.

I couldn't make eye contact with him, "I don't know I thought it would take your mind off of Han even if it was for a second." I ended up saying, I still felt the sensation on my lips. I don't know how I feel about it though.

"Jun" I didn't want to look at Minghao's face anymore, it was embarrassing what I did and I could have ruined the strong friendship I worked so hard for.

I started to cry.

Tears falling one by one onto my lap as I fiercely wiped them away. "Jun" Minghao said softly as he went in front of my face.

"I'm sorry forget about it," I said shaking my head

"Jun listen to me for once." he yelled at me squeezing my hand tighter.

"I'm sorry I did that disgusting thing." I said sliding my hands out of his, I didn't want to touch him and make him think I was disgusting.

He grabbed my hands right back, "I never said that Jun." Minghao said.

"But you were thinking of it." I said back looking at my feet curling together.

"No I wasn't" I wasn't looking at him. I couldn't help but, think of the worst scenario.

He would want to end all this, move out and leave me alone and ignore me just like my parents. I don't want that, I don't want that at all. "Jun listen to me, I don't care that you kissed me. All I want to know is why?"

I looked up at Minghao and he really didn't look mad, maybe he really is going to forgive me.