Window Buddies (Seventeen JunHao)

The Rode to Becoming Liked

Nothing, I looked at the closed door that didn't budge open or even crack open. Nothing, no sound came from it not even footsteps coming towards the door. Just silence, why is that? Why aren't they looking at me?

That question just stayed in my head, playing again and again. I fell on my bed, looking at my ceiling. "Am I not worth their attention that much. Would it be better for them if I just wasn't here?" I laid out my arms and as I did that motion I hit something. I turned to look at it, it was one of mom's favorite characters from the game. I got it from one of my classmates.

I remember that day, I was so happy and excited to surprise mom with it. I already knew this was one of the characters she liked to play with since I watched her play a number of times. I found it so memorizing to see her hands move from the mouse to the keyboard so fast while the whole screen flashed with super cool moves and a verity of characters.

So, when I got that and showed mom I thought she would at least smile about it, her son is showing interest in something she is very passionate about.

But no.

Her reply when she saw me holding that plushy was, "So what of it. Do you want me to feel happy about that?" That broke me, and since that day I stopped watching her play the game as much. I think that happened when I was still in Elementary school.

But as you can see I never threw away the plushy, I still kept it I thought it was cute. Also this plushy will make me feel closer to mom even though she isn't all too happy with me.

I liked both of them, mom and dad, I don't hate them or rather I can't bring myself to dislike them one bit.

I laughed at myself and covered my eyes with my hands, "What is wrong with me? I know no one will shame me if I said I disliked them or something but, still I just can't blame them for not paying too much attention to me." I sighed, it is just too hard.

~~~~~~

The next day I tried to look through all the damaged and thrown stuff from my tantrum. I ended up falling asleep after I laid down on my bed.

"Idiot, how can you do all this? Were you out of your mind? Well, I guess I was in a way but that isn't the point." I said going back and forth with myself.

I looked at the broken trophy, I felt a tear fall down.

I couldn't fix any of it so, I thought it was ok to just throw them away. I got a trash bag and was ready to throw everything away. As I was ready to throw the first one in, my hand just wouldn't let it go.

Why?

I ended up just placing the two parts of the trophy on my bedside and worked up the motivation and courage to trash the other stuff, keeping whatever looked salvageable.

The mirror I liked to look into in the morning was gone and I couldn't use it anymore. I broke it...I broke it I just couldn't get over the fact that I was so careless, I hated myself for all the damage I have brought to my family and myself. Even though I had no one to talk to about my problems The mirror was always there for me showing me my true self and knew how much pain I was going throw.

I talked to it, cried to it, and even stroke poses in it. Oh how much I will miss posing in front of it, it made me feel so good and powerful.

Wait....poses. My mind just had a moment.

I quickly got up and off the floor and grabbed my phone and started to do some research. I searched for entertainment jobs. I don't know how I ended up thinking about that but at least let's see. I heard people call me a people pleaser and that my looks weren't half bad. When I searched that up I wasn't expecting so much to pop up, who would have known there were so many choices.

I looked through the list and there were two in particular that caught my eye, modeling and acting.

They paid a good amount to live off of and it seems that a bunch of people appreciate them a lot and gives them their attention. "Maybe this is the key to get my parents approval and attention."

Since the day I discovered this line of work, I have been working my butt off to try and get the things I needed to succeed. But this was harder than everything else I had done, I will have to put 110% into this. I know this will work, they can't ignore me if I am being acknowledged by everyone in China.