Recovering

What Happened to Her (2)

(Warning in advance)

Sabrina's POV

"A couple days ago, I went to meet up with an old friend of mine from New York named Matt. He wanted to hang out and I had said sure." She started and grabbed onto Jake's hand.

"That night, we had went a 18 and older club. I just can remember only a few pieces of what and happened that night, and every time I have a nightmare, I remember something new."

"What do you remember?"

"I remember that the next morning I woke up completely naked in my bed." She said, saying it all in one breath.

"You slept with him?" I asked and she shook her head quickly. "No!"

"Before you say something, let her finish." Jake said. I apologized and listened to her.

She continued speaking. "My thighs were bleeding and I was in pain from the waist down. That night I tried to remember what happened. I had asked Jake to help me because he said that there was something that I could do to remember. Well I did remember most of it, but not all."

"I-i kept b-b-blacking out that night when I was with Matt. He had gave me some sort of drink and I passed out. I woke up to my arms and legs tied to my bed and something in my mouth that preventing me from making any sounds. T-that night h-h-he, h-he..." She was trying to get the words out, but she couldn't.

"I-i'm sorry but I-i just can't s-say it." She broke down in tears.

"He raped you?!" I asked and she cried harder.

"I-i try not to think about it, but every time someone touches me and every time I go to sleep, it replays in my head over and over again. Even just from looking at men I think that they're going to do the same thing, that they want the same thing." She said, covering her face with her hands.

"Not all men are like that." Jake said.

"I know, but I can't help but think that sometimes. I'm just so sorry, Sabrina." She said, looking at me.

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. None of what happened was your fault." I said.

"You know, I've done a lot of things to try to forget. Tried to find a way to numb myself completely. Anything, I was willing to do anything if it meant that I would forget about it as if it never happened." She said.

"Y/N, do you really want to tell her this too?" Jake asked.

"I'm tired of keeping secrets from her, Jake." She said to the long haired boy.

"Go ahead, tell me. I won't get mad." I said.

She nodded her head, wiping her face even though tear drops didn't stop falling. "I started pushing everyone away from me. I tried to push away Jake, but he was too stubborn." She said, looking at Jake in annoyance to which he patted her head softly.

"For the past couple of days, I've been drinking and smoking. Everyday though, I would have a mental breakdown. I didn't want to tell anyone what had happened, because I was too scared." She said.

Tears fell from my eyes. "Scared that I would judge you? I'm your best friend and I love you. I would never judge you, especially over something like that." Her eyes looked like she was so tired, tired of everything.

"I know that you're my best friend, B. It didn't matter. Being friends with me wouldn't stop some people from calling me a whore or a slut. I've been there before and I'm still being called those things. It would just hurt a lot worse if you had called me that."

"I would never call anyone that. Especially in this kind of situation."

"I know. You have a good heart Sabrina. That's one of the things that I love about you." She said, and suddenly stopped crying all at once.

"Are you okay now Bear?" Jake asked.

"Define okay." She said.

"I'm sorry." Jake said, realizing that he asked the wrong question.

"You guys can't tell anyone this." She said and stood up.

"Shouldn't we tell the cops?" She shook her head and sighed. "It's his word against mine. Besides, they would just think that I was drunk and blame me for it."

"Where is this coming from Y/N?"

"Jake just stop. If you keep putting pressure on me, I'll mentally break. If I do, I can promise you that it won't be easy to get me back this time." She said.

"Now, I need to go back to the studio. Bye." She said and went downstairs.

"Go with her." Jake said to me.

"I was already going to." I said and quickly left to catch up with her.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Y/N's POV

Sabrina wanted to tag along, so I said sure. When I walked into the building, I was greeted by Shawn. "Hey Y/N! What's been shaking, bacon?" I had to fake a smile and a laugh as his joke.

"Nothing. Just working on a album." I said.

"Well then I'll see you later. I gotta go see my girlfriend." He said and left. Sabrina was staring at me, a concentrated look on her face.

"What?" I asked, stopping and looking at her.

"There's a difference between a fake smile and laugh and your real one." She said.

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"Your eyes light up when it's real. If he had been looking straight into your eyes, he would have known that it was fake." She explained.

"Wow, thanks for telling me that. I'll make sure to keep a note of it." I said and went into the booth to start singing.

...

"Did I piss you off or something?" The blonde asked and I shook my head no. During the time that I was in the studio, I've been stuck in my thoughts. The only time that I actually opened my mouth was to sing. Other than that, I was relatively quiet.

"Then what is it?" She asked.

"Nothing." It's just the fact that this is the worst month of my life. I'm not okay, but I'll say I am to make everyone happy.

"I'm okay, Sabrina." I said, giving a small smile to her for reassurance. My vision got blurry for a minute so I had to pull over.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" She asked. My eyelids felt heavy, so I knew that I was just sleepy. I haven't slept in the past three days.

"Just tired." I said and was about to get back on the road, but she stopped me. "I'm driving." She said and got out of the car. I didn't argue with her and I got in the passenger sleep.

At some point I had fallen asleep on the way home.