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liked by imzachherron and 273,666 others jonahmarais why can't I stop
*****
I fell onto my bed staring at the ceiling, I hated how everything always fell apart when I thought something would just turn out right for the first time in my life. I didn't believe in god but he was definitely punishing me for some reason.
I thought of two years ago when Jacob had texted me constantly before I saw through his facade that he was talking to me for (y/bf/n).
And then Angus early last year, who pretended he liked me till he realised that it was pushing (y/bf/n) away and not dragging her in like he expected. I fell through that trap too.
But this one. It hurt more then those petty boys.
Jonah was just amazing. I tried all day to make myself believe he was a bad person, believe he was ugly or nasty, believe he was just another jock.
But he isn't. That's what was the worst.
My phone buzzed, vibrations sending through the bed. I slowly turned over picking it up lightly seeing a crazy picture of her face on my screen, her contact name lined across the top. You aren't her (y/n).
"Hey!"
"Hey, what's up?" I said normally trying to ease the pain in my voice and gut
"I just wanted to call you before we went tonight because...Well, you have to keep it a secret."
"I promise I will. I always do. Who else am I going to tell!?" I laughed half heartedly. I knew what she was going to say and the pain was already swelling in my chest and my hair fell onto my face.
I like Jonah, I'm sorry.
I think Jonah is the man for me.
Jonah and I are dating.
"I'm in love with Jack." I blinked a couple of times, now I didn't expect that but the pain didn't fall from my chest, this would crush Jonah. he didn't deserve it.
"I can't believe you said that, wow."
"I know I remember saying at our sleepover that we'd never be more but I can't help feeling that way since a couple of weeks ago. You were away, Jonah was with Corbyn and he sat with me and all this stuff happened and I realised that I'd dated all these jerks and he was just right under my nose. My heart flutters and I can hardly function when he's around. To be honest, I thought you would've picked up on it!" I knew she was right, that's how I feel when I look at Jonah.
"No I just stopped looking after you said what you said.."
"I know! I just had to tell you before tonight because we always tell each other everything, Don't we!"
My heart stopped again,
We. Tell. Each. Other. Everything. How could Jonah put that guilt upon me, how can I not tell her that while Jonah is breaking me, she is breaking Jonah. Why is everything a constant mess.
"Of course! I love you." I was only half lying, I truely do love her but how could I break one of the people I love.
"I love you too. You better get ready! Jonah will be there soon." She began making kissing noises my head sinking at the thought of him picking me up and smiling his beautiful smile and talking in his voice, ugh this was unbearable.
"Bye (y/bf/n)" I said putting the phone down the time flashing on the screen, 4:30. Right. Looking at my wall of art and words.
Face adversity. Have extraordinary determination. Get up. Be beautiful. Be the best I can be.
I walked into my closest picking an outfit I liked that fitted the cold weather before changing and curling my hair adding a little bit of makeup onto my face.
Don't let what's happening, ruin you. I turned around in the mirror checking my butt like we all do and seeing if I was content with my appearance.
"(y/n) someone is here for you!" Grabbing my purse I walked into the living room, my breath caught like it always did. he stood there, hands in pockets, dressed to perfection and hair nicely done. My mum was eyeing him off in the kitchen nodding in approval, too bad she wouldn't be having him here all the time.
"ah hey" I awkwardly stood in front of him noticing his not over gelled hair. He really was trying to impress (y/bf/n)
"you look nice"
"thank you, you do to" I half smiled looking down at my doc martens laced around my ankles.
"should we take a picture or let them go" I tried not to giggle at my parents before looking up into his bright eyes. He smiled before swooping me into a walk out the door,
"Bye mum and dad!"
"Have fun! But not too much fun!" I went red with embarrassment as he chuckled holding his hand on my lower back guiding me to the car.
"My parents are the same, oh but then you add a sibling hmmm." I laughed sliding into his car as he did the same. Pushing downs those thoughts of infatuation and love I looked out the window soothing the ache in my chest that he didn't care for me as much as I wished he did.
*****
Jonah's p.o.v: ( whoop got you there ;) )
She was weirdly quiet and it was driving me crazy, I didn't know what to say or how to act. We'd been close for a couple of months and I thought she trusted me but she never told me anything or how she was in love with Corbyn. It made me sad that she's fallen for my blonde friend but it made sense with his witty humour and looks.
We'd awkwardly had an encounter with my dad and my step mum (made up) before heading to the music room for a good 45 minutes. She was amazingly talented at music and it shocked me how well she played when she only had been doing it for a little over a year. Her hair would cascade over her face sometimes before she's slowly use her hands to tuck it away. When she'd muck up she'd bite her lips, Why was I noticing everything. Jonah stop.
"hey can I play you something." She nodded passing me the old acoustic guitar I'd had with me since I was young. I gently played a difficult but pretty riff I'd seen online and she smiled gently as I played.
"It's so nice to listen to." She said before walking to the piano picking up the chords of the riff, I rose my eyebrows it was impressive. My phone rang as I watched her concentrate on the keys.
"Hey Jack,"
"Hey Jo, how far away are you?"
"Oh we haven't left.."
"we?"
"Uh yeah (y/n) and I."
"Yes my boy is getting in-"
"No no no."
"Yeah sure you talk about her all the time, you're head over heels"
"No."
"Whatever you say Marais. Get here soon!" I end the call looking up her she had closed her eyes as if exhausted and was silently sitting on the stole still pushing down on notes.
"ah that was jack we should go."
"okay." She slowly got up her clothes hanging off her frame loosely. Damn. No. What's going on with me. I like (y/bf/n). I like her very much. She's beautiful, she's funny. Everyone loves her, so do I...
