Chapter 5

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Jasey Pov:

I was lying on my bed, thinking. I heard Saffy walk in but I didn't react "I just fucked James fucking Cassells!" I still didn't move. I just remembered about the bet, which got me thinking about Ben. I wonder if he's thinking about me. I bet what I did freaked him out, I'm such an idiot! "Jasey, did you hear me? I just had unprotected sex with a rockstar!"

I got up and headed for the door, "I'm going for a walk" I left a stunned Saffy just standing there on her own.

I didn't leave the hotel, I just went straight up to the roof.

There was someone sitting on the stairs further down, but I wasn't paying attention. I got to the roof and went to sit on the ledge. It looked so beautiful. You could see everything, the warped set, tall buildings and all the tiny people. If you looked really carefull you could see Asking Alexandria's tour bus. I wonder what Ben's doing, or if he is sleeping.

It was so peaceful up here, the only thing that bothered me was that my thoughts wouldn't shut up. I don't know why I'm so hung up on it, for one it was pretty much just a peck goodbye and he made me a bet for fuck sake! He's an arsehole! "I just wish I could forget, I wish that I had bailed on Saffy so none of this would have happened. I just want to stop thinking about you!"

Ben Pov:

I had been sitting on the stairs for a good hour now and nobody passed me. Someone on the floor above me went further up, but the furthest you can go is the roof.

I couldn't stop thinking about it, I kissed her, am I fucking stupid? What was I thinking? Out of all the girls that I've ever slept with, kissed or even been stalked by, why does she stand out so much. Sure she cuts herself but a few of our fans have told us that we helped them stop. She didn't even know who I was, is that why I'm drawn to her? Because she doesn't know me or what I've done in the past...

No stop it Ben, stop thinking about her, the kiss was just to make her shut up, a goodbye kiss. But it was... Nice. Even though she is so fucked up, but so fucking hot. Arrgh. "I wish I could forget"

I thought I heard the person that was up on the roof come down, so I thought I'd go up for some air.

There was a black silhouette sitting on the roof ledge, she was talking to herself "I know you can't hear me mom, but I really need you right now, I don't know what to do about him, he's a fucking arsehole, but he's so sweet too. It's like there was something there, between us. I'm not even going to see him again, and there is nothing I can do about that, I don't think. I have nobody mom, nobody knows what it's like to lie in bed awake at night thinking about razors and longing to watch the blood flow, it's like it takes all your pain from inside away too. I really don't know what to do. There's no point even trying, I mean he is perfect, famous and I'm never going to see him again, but it was like he actually cared about me, when he found me. It's getting pretty cold, I should go now. Goodnight mom!"

She got off the ledge and turned around slowly. There was a tear slowly making it's way down my face. I walked up to her and stopped when she spoke. "How long have yo-" I cut her off with a kiss again, this time more passionate and meaningful, it was better this time. It was so intense, it felt like kissing her was compulsive and without her I would flat line, a fantasy. A swarm of feelings that I had never felt before rushed through me, this new feeling could be thought about later, I was content to feel her breath come and go with mine.

*EDITING* Accidental (A Ben Bruce/Asking Alexandria Fanfic)Where stories live. Discover now