Keeper of the Flame - Is It Love? Colin Fan Fic #2

Chapter 12

Monday comes way to quickly, I lay in bed reaching for my phone to shut it off, Colin snaps immediately “Can you turn that off!” I know he's been dreading getting back to work since his time off, Colin and work stress don't mix and his sour attitude is no surprise. 

I swing my legs out of bed and head to the kitchen.  By the time he comes out of the room I have the coffee made and am nursing a cup of black gold,  my eye's heavy from lack of sleep last night,  so many thoughts in my head,  but no actual thought pattern to distinguish what was keeping me awake. 

He growls at me while he pours a cup “If your going to be tired and quiet why do you even bother going to work? I can support you.” His tone and attitude wake me up “If your going to be an asshole why do you even talk?” I snap back not in the mind set for his bad mood games this morning.

“I just don't get why you make this such a big fucking deal. You don't need to work.  It's actually a hindrance. I don't like being separated from you for long periods of time.”

My eyes shoot up “Because it is a big deal,  I don't want you to feel obligated to fucking support me. Remember, I changed my entire life to avoid  people who were trying to control it.”

He growls,  dumps his coffee down the sink and grabs his coat “You're NOT a fucking obligation. And I'm NOT FUCKING trying to control you. ” He storms out of the door while I'm still grasping at his words,  trying to understand his automatic need to attack me this morning.

Now here I am sitting across from Colin going over issues that the network team couldn't resolve,  he's chewing his bottom lip while staring at his computer screen, once in a while clicking on his mouse or taping his desk,  he looks up at me for a second.  “Ok,  what's the next problem?”

I sigh and look down at my notes,  I've learnt a lot but I know I still sound like a novice in many different ways and today though Colin is being very patient, against his nature especially after this morning,  I know my terms and descriptions are far from accurate. 

“Ok, Kevin said the VoIP is suffering a network stuttering, causing a restriction on the networks productivity and on the telecommunications system.”

He puts his hand to his forehead “I'm working with fucking morons.” His tone has me cringing and he looks at me apologetically “Sorry.” The word comes off his tongue like it hurt,  it's still not something he's used to saying “This is seriously things they could of done and I'll be having a meeting with Carter about it. When I'm,  we're, gone the guys are going to have to be able to do this sort of shit on their own.  I'll be able to do some things remotely,  but honest to God, I can't be expected to babysit these fuckers from half way around the world.” I look down at my hands not knowing what to say.

“Hey, kitten, come here.” I let my eyes wander upwards at his tone completely different to what I've been subjected to all morning, I meet his look and am surprised to see sorrow reflecting in the deep azure that meets mine, his hand is extended outwards from him to me, and I feel obligated to go to it. I don't need anymore attitude,  but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.   As I stand to go to him his free hand runs through his hair, when I stand across from him leaning on his desk he looks at his extended hand then at me “I guess I deserve that,” he sighs and puts his head in his hands. “About this morning, at home”

I don't need to listen to his excuses over his bad attitude and sigh “No matter”

His eyes shoot to mine and I start moving away,  he hooks his hand around the back of my thigh holding me in place “No,  it does matter.  I feel like I need to explain myself. My father was never able to support my mother and I the way that he should of.  I want to be able to support my family the way I think it should be,  and part of that is in the way that you shouldn't feel like you have to work. “

He takes a shaky breath “It was torture being away from you those ten days. I wanted you beside me,  showing you off, holding you away night. “