The Bitter Everythings || ✓

'HAZEL ORBS, FULL LIPS AND LIGHT BROWN WAVY HAIR.'

Levi's P.O.V

I drove closer to The Bridge. The humming in my head hasn't yet subsided. My brain is still going on about how this will not turn out to be good. But nonetheless, I ignore it.

Hannah is standing right at the place where she had left me that unfortunate day. She was looking down at the flowing river as it reflected the light of the sun.

Everything looked beautiful in a strange manner.

I parked my car in the parking area and moved to stand beside Hannah.

"It's beautiful. Isn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah it is. Just like that day." I said, looking over at the sun.

"Let's talk about this somewhere private. Should we?" She suggested, to which I nodded and followed her.

Of course she was leading us to "POPS!"

Once upon a time it used to be our place, where we would sit for hours and talk leisurely. Embracing all the time we had together.

But I guess it was all a lie for her.

We sat down on a separate booth and refused to order when the waiter asked. I guess both of us were already stomach full on anxiety and curiosity. We both wanted to know as to what had actually conspired between us.

I quirked up an eyebrow in a manner of asking-"You speak."

She sighed and looked down.

"I am sorry." She said.

"I know that." I snapped.

I know I was rude, but I guess I deserved to know something more informative.

"I just wanted to tell you that I did not leave on my own will. I would have never left if it was up to me. I loved you then and I love you now. It was complicated and it still is."

I was confused.

"I.....don't understand." I mumbled.

What the hell was she trying to say?!

"I am here to explain." She said and sighed.

It looked like she was in pain. Real pain. She wasn't faking it and I knew she wasn't lying right now.

"OK then go on." I stated, trying to look indifferent.

"As you already know Levi, my dad holds one of the best business company in whole lot of America but he still thinks that he should have as many alliances as possible. My father didn't approve yours and mine relationship. Because he had something else in mind." By now her eyes were closed,  like she couldn't bear looking at me. Like the truth hurt her so much.

"As ridiculous as it sounds. My father wanted me to make alliances with another big company by marriage. Which is why he thought our serious relationship would hamper all his plans of alliance. So he sent me away to France."

She stopped.

"And  I am only back to clarify some things. I will be back to France in another month or two. I was just trying to fake it when I said that I was here to take you forever." She said sadly.

"We can't possibly have a forever. My dad wouldn't let me." She whispered.
"I am sorry. I really am. You have no idea what I feel like to know that I can not make my own fantasy. I am sorry Levi. I am very sorry." She finished.

She looked down to her hands and waited for me to say something. But I couldn't bring myself to it.

I was confused. I was trying to absorb all the information.

Hannah. Being forced into a marriage. Her only leaving because of her dad. Her loving me even now and even then.

Everything was damn straight. It made sense now. How Hannah's dad would always pass me disgusted looks. How they would always fight. How Hannah had started to drift away before going.

She was only doing this because she wanted me to know that it was going to happen.

She never wanted to hurt me. Even though she did anyway. But it was her, who was facing the major issues.

I never thought about any of this.
I had never thought that maybe, just maybe it wasn't in Hannah's hand to leave. And now I feel so sorry to have doubted our relationship.

To have doubted 'us'.

I leaned forward and placed my hand on hers.

"Hey. It's fine. You don't have to be sorry. I understand. I was being an asshole for thinking that you left me for no reason. I should be sorry and I am. I really did love you if that solves anything." I said, trying to give some comfort to the broken girl.

"Did?" She asked.

"Yes Hannah. I did. But not now. I have moved on. And I think even you should. I care about you. I still do. Which is why it hurts to see you hurting. I think it's better for both of us to move on." I suggested.

"Ok." And then she shifted closer. We were very close and this did not look good. It did not feel right. But I still let it happen.

She then looked right into my eye. I could see how shattered her soul was.
"But just this one last time. Let me savour the moment." She whispered and leaned in.

It was my choice if I wanted to flinch away. But alas. My idiotic self let it happen.

And slowly her lips enclose mine and we kiss.

For the first few seconds I could feel the softness of her lips on mine, the sync movement was more than calming.

But when I opened my eyes I didn't see Hannah anymore. All I could think about were those hazel orbs and full lips and light brown wavy hair.

All I could think about was Maia.

I pulled away.
I couldn't do this. Not to Hannah. She was already going through so much.

"I am sorry Hannah but I don't think I can do this." I stated and got up.

"Levi it's not-"

"I guess I should go." And I rushed out of the cafe.

I got in the car and sped back to home.

I need some lone time. Sometime to think and process my thoughts.
I reached my house and parked my car and moved inside. No one was inside. So I hung my car keys on the key holder and moved to my room.
I locked my door. Moved inside the closet and towards the long mirror.
I pulled off my shirt.

Then my eyes scanned my defined chest.

The scars were only mere marks now.
I had stopped cutting myself since Lana had seen them and screamed at me.

She had made me realise how much I had that I would not want to lose.
But now, it seemed worthless. I had less to lose.

I would cut myself to remind me of all the mistakes that I made in life. The marks spoke of death and Hannah and family and some other things.

Now, I had something else to add to that list.

I picked up the blade hidden under the drawer and raised it to the side of my torso.

I cut a line on my flesh and watched the blood drip down.

A tear slipped from my eyes. I wasn't crying bcoz of the cut. But the wound in the heart was large enough to cry for.

This scar now marked another mistake.

This scar was to symbolise Maia.

****************************
You probably hate me, but just hold on.

Loads of love,
MIA.