Distastefully In Love

Chapter 14: The First Time

For awhile they avoid it. They avoid the question because they both fear the answer. It is easier this way because no one will get hurt. No one will encounter rejection, or embarrassment. Both sail the same boat, right now. The boat is steady, and controlled, but once that question arises, it will shake. It will cause a rift, and a chance of someone drowning will come about.

So, they avoid it. They avoid it like the plague, and continue doing whatever they are doing; ignoring consequence and definition like an antelope avoids a lion.

It isn't that Spencer would mind going on a date with him or anything. He can be irritating, and tick her off, but there is some weird, strange, desirable thing about him. Some strange aroma around him that calms her, and teaches her how to breathe.

But telling him that would be terrifying. She doesn't know what Toby is like with girls. Maybe he does stuff like this all the time, and that's why he hasn't asked, because this is normal to him. Maybe it is just sex to him.

And Spencer is fine with it just being sex. She really is fine with that. Maybe she has a little, tiny, microscopic, crush on him, but it is an irrational, illogical, nonsense, crush. It doesn't make any sense, and therefore, it shouldn't be explored any further. Sex is safe. No one gets hurt, or embarrassed when it is just sex. So, as long as he keeps the question of what they are lodged in his throat, she will too.

She is fine with how things are. She is.

Or at least that's what she thought.

They are at one of Hanna and Caleb's dinners (they have been having a lot since the new house), and Hanna is going on about something wedding related. Something about guests, and food, and how it is only three months away, and how she can hardly wait, and Spencer can't listen because Toby keeps distracting her. He is looking at her, smiling every so often, and creating a giant hole in her stomach which can only be filled by his touch. She smirks at him, subtly, so no one will notice, and then returns her eyes to Hanna.

"Speaking of plus ones...!" Hanna darts her eyes to Toby, "are you bringing anyone, Toby? Did you ever go out with Mona? If not, then you are so taking her to my wedding! Or do you remember Macy? Oh my God! Forget Mona. You're going with Macy. She is literally your perfect match. Like, perfect. With a capital P."

"I actually have to say that Hanna may be right on this one. You two are like the same person. She is in a band, and she paints in her free time, and she is obsessed with old music no one listens to anymore," Caleb adds.

Spencer's heart drops in her stomach, an involuntary frown leaning on her lips. She sucks in a breath, and quickly regains her composure, and stares expectantly at Toby for an answer. He meets her brown, measuring, eyes for just a split second, before meeting Hanna's eager blues.

"I think I'm good," he murmurs.

"What? Toby..." Hanna sighs. "Come on, she's perfect for you."

"I'm sure she is nice," he agrees.

"She isn't just nice. She is practically your soul mate! You can't just sit around and mope forever!"

Spencer looks down at her plate, letting out a breath.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Why does she feel so...upset over the potential of him going to Hanna's wedding with someone? It isn't like they are together. At all. It's just sex. Isn't it? Why does she care so much if he goes with someone? She shouldn't care.

"I'm not moping," he argues. "I'm—," his words come out scrambled, "just not interested."

Hanna rolls her eyes, and shakes her head, but lets it go. Because Hanna is kind, and doesn't pressure people into doing things they don't want to. She can be a little too meddling sometimes, but really, she is just looking out for her friends. She wants the best for them.