DREAMING (Yoonmin)

Part Fifteen- The End

Jimin sat motionless in the library. It was dark and closed, but he didn't care. There's no other place he could stand to be at anymore. The library was his safest bet. Even if he had to sneak in illegally, he would rather sit at their table than lay in bed.

He checked his watch to see that it was one a.m. Great, only six more hours to go until the librarian gets here. He looked to his side where Yoongi used to sit. Now in that spot is a small carving of his name made by Jimin days earlier. The librarian couldn't even scold him. She herself felt pity and sadness with the events that went down a month prior.

Yoongi was dead, but so was Jimin's father. He didn't know how to feel. Although he didn't have to live in constant fear anymore, he couldn't seem to live with love and happiness anymore either. Is it really better living without fear and love, or was it better living with fear and love?

Jimin reached up to lightly touch his lips with his fingertips. He and Yoongi had shared their last kiss right before Yoongi died in Jimin's arms. He could never forget the weight of Yoongi's body falling into his hands after experiencing the most overwhelming kiss in his entire life. The stabbing pain still resided in Jimin's heart, no lesser than before. All that time they spent together ruined by the one monster Jimin kept locked away. If only he would have told Yoongi the truth before it came to bite him in the ass. Maybe he would have had a better idea than to stay at that stupid warehouse until they were found. Maybe then he would still be alive.

Jimin sighed aloud and wiped away at his eyes. Tears were already starting to form. He just couldn't keep them at bay. How could he? The love of his life sacrificed himself for him, and he regretted nothing more than not being able to save him. Yoongi was gone, and it was all because of Jimin. Or so he thought.

"Stupid, it wasn't your fault," Jimin told himself in the dark library. No one but him heard him say so as no one else was even on campus. "It wasn't you who pulled the trigger. That was someone else entirely."

Jimin felt himself going crazy as his head dropped onto the table. He had to keep repeating those words until he believed them. At least, that's what his therapist recommended he do.

Jimin ruffled his hair and then tugged on it in desperation. He then sat up and leaned into the back of the chair. He tilted his head up so his watery eyes were staring straight up at the ceiling. He blinked as tears slid out of the corners of his eyes. He continued to stare even if he couldn't really see anything because it was too dark. But that's okay because at this point, Jimin feels more at home in the darkness than anywhere else. The stale, empty air around him reflected how he felt on the inside. Dark, empty, and alone.

The mourning boy closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. If he breathed the right way, he could almost faintly smell the familiar scent of Yoongi's shampoo. If he strained his ears enough, he could almost hear the familiar sound of Yoongi flipping through the pages of his notebook and the vibrating base of the music blasting from his earphones into his ears. If he sat still enough, he could almost feel the small brushes of Yoongi's arm as he scribbled down lyrics that he'd never let Jimin see. If he waited long enough, he could almost sense Yoongi's occasional stare to make sure Jimin was there and wasn't peeking at his song.

Jimin blew out a long stream of air from his mouth before sitting up straight and turning his attention to the table top. He ran his fingers over the carving of Yoongi's name and then lingered them on the heart right next to it. He traced over it countless times until his finger began to ache.

It was a hard month. Oh god was it so hard. First he was forced to testify about everything that happened. Then he attended Yoongi's funeral, which he was the only guest at. No one else showed because there was no one else. All expenses were paid by Yoongi's family's money that was left. He was buried right next to his mother. Jimin was there everyday now. Although he couldn't stand to be there for long, he would always drop off a couple flowers for the both of them.