Wings of Freedom

Nightmare : Jean x Reader

Nightmares: [Jean x Reader]

Ever since Marco's death, Jean had been suffering from insomnia and panic attacks. After hearing that his best friend had died in a freak accident, he immediately fell into a depressive state and wouldn't eat for a few days. He would lock himself away from everyone, including you, his other best friend, and grief in the corner of his room, scratching his scalp and gasping to breathe. It broke you when you heard about what happened to Marco; the three of you were the best of friends. But it definitely shattered you harder when you see Jean in this state and not being able to do anything about it.
You would often visit Jean, even though he locked himself up. You stayed by his bedroom door, trying to talk to him but your reply was either silence or sobs. It would make you cry too. "Jean?..." You begged, tears threatening to escape your eyes once again. God, you were so tired of crying. But you couldn't stop yourself. "Please... Come out. I miss you. You don't have to do this alone. He was my best friend too; we can go through this together. Please?..." But it never really worked.
After a month or so, Jean started to get better and come out of his room but he was different. He was more closed up about his feelings and there was no joy in all his insults and jokes; they were filled with bitterness, anger and sadness. But you were thankful that he was able to get back up, even thought not completely but at least he did. You managed to get back up too. Slowly, both of you were able to smile again but never the same way as before. There was still something missing in both your smiles and laughs.
It's been nearly a year since Marco had left the both of you but you miss him more than ever. You sat by his grave, dusting the fallen leaves away. You visited him as often as you could.
"Hey Marco." You smiled as you placed his favorite flowers before the gravestone. "I came by again. We miss you so much."
"I'm sorry that Jean hasn't come visit you since your funeral..." You traced his name that was carved onto the grey stone. "You've gotta cut him some slack; he has a hard time being here. He misses you a lot, too. You'd understand him, right?"
"_____." You turned around and found Jean standing before you, with Marco's favorite flowers as well. He looked sick; he was pale and he had dark circles around his eyes. He tried his best to keep a straight face but his furrowed brows were giving it away. He held onto the flowers tightly and placed them gently next to yours.
"Jean...?" You watched him intently as he went on his knees and traced his fingers across the gravestone.
"Hey, Marco." He laughed sadly. "I'm here. Sorry it took me so long." He turned his attention to you. "Can I sit next to you?" He asked.
You patted the empty grass next to you and he took it. "Jean, what... What are you-"
"It's almost a year,huh?" He cut you off but you didn't mind. Whatever changed his mind, you were glad and proud of him for visiting Marco. You nodded your head slowly. "I miss him."
"We all do, Jean." You said, reaching out to hold his hand. He flinched at your touch, which took you aback. You were hurt and bit your lower lip. "I'm proud of you, Jean." You put your hurt aside.
"Yeah." He flashed you a weak smile. "I guess it was finally time I visited him again."
His words were cold and it left some daggers in your heart. You let it slide because you knew how scared Jean must be to be right there, sitting next to Marco's grave.
"We should head back now." He said, snapping you from your thoughts. He stood up and dusted his trousers and walked away with his hands shoved in his pockets. You held back tears as he didn't look back.
"I miss Jean too, Marco..." You whispered.

You awoke to your cellphone ringing your favorite song. "... Hello?..." You groaned, scratching the back of your head. All you could hear was uneven breathings and sniffing. You checked the screen of your phone and it displayed Jean's name. You shot up immediately. "Hello? Jean?"
"_-_-_____..." You could hear his shaky voice, so weak and fragile. A lump formed on your throat. He was having a panic attack.
"Jean?" You tried to keep as calm as possible. You knew if you allow yourself to worry too much it wouldn't make things better.
" _-_____... I- I need help... I- I c-can't do this... I- I..." He was wheezing and it made your heart race.
"Jean. I'm coming over right now. Just, just don't do anything okay? Jean are you listening?" You said, getting out of bed immediately and grabbed your car keys.
"I- I'm sorry... I'm sorry Marco..." You heard him break down on the other end of the line. You quickly grabbed your slippers and rushed to the garage.
"Don't hang up, Jean. I'm heading there now." You begged. You sped your way to his house, keeping him on loud speaker and kept your eye on the speed meter. You couldn't risk being caught by the cops for speeding and being stalled any longer. Jean needed you.
"Jean?!" You called as you opened his door, which you had told him to leave it open. His parents left for dinner with a couple of friends and he was all alone. "Jean?!" You called as you dashed towards his hallway, heading straight for his room. You pushed the door open and found him in the corner of his room, curled up into a ball, trying hard to breathe and tears streamed down his handsome face.
You quickly ran towards him and pulled him into a tight embrace. You had no idea what to say so you just held him as close to you as you can while he clung onto you, crying and trying to breathe. He rested his head on your chest and you kissed his head, telling him that it was okay and that you loved him. You rocked him back and forth and he tried to synchronize his breathing with yours.
Finally, after about 10 minutes, Jean finally calmed down and the both of you ended up on his bed, lying facing each other. You held his hand and he squeezed it tightly.
"Jean?" You called his name softly, breaking the silence. He looked into your eyes with his puffy ones. He squeezed tighter onto your hand.
"I had a nightmare." He said after a moment of silence passed. "I've been having nightmares, _____."
You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to assure him. "I dreamt of Marco. I miss him so much. I thought maybe if I visited him it would probably hurt less but heck no, it's worse." His eyes turned glassy once again.
"Why did he have to die?" He cried, which made you teary eyed as well. "Why? Why did he have to die and appear in my dreams?" You squeezed his hand, as to comfort him.
"He- He was in so much pain, _____. He was covered in blood and everywhere was just ..." He choked. "He was calling my name, and he kept on telling me that hurts."
"Jean..."
"It would have been better if I was the one who died. Things would be so much better if I died instead of him."
"No," you said firmly and cupped his cheeks. "Things wouldn't be any better if you died. Jean, Marco wouldn't want this."
"I can't take another nightmare, _____." He gritted his teeth as to stop himself from crying. "I'm so bloody tired but I can't sleep, not with another nightmare."
"Can... Can you sleep with me tonight?" He pleaded with a voice of a scared child. You couldn't resist him, he needed you after all.
"Of course, Jean." You said as you pulled him closer towards you. He nuzzled his head between your shoulder and chin and wrapped his arms around you tightly. You kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, as he tried to catch some sleep.
"_____?"
"Hmm?"
"Please don't leave me, ever."
"I promise." You kissed his forehead once again and he snuggled closer to you.
That night, the both of you dreamt of Marco, but it wasn't a nightmare this time. It was the sweetest dream you both had had ever since his passing.

SPECIAL DEDICATION TO YOU, WHO IS READING THIS RIGHT NOW. I LOVE YOU!

A/N: Not so proud of this one, it's a little rough on the edges but I hope you liked it better than I do. (Wrote this before exams so it's kind of rushed) This supposed to be for Levi but I though it would make him seem out of character. But if you'd like a chapter like this for Levi or any other characters, comment or message me, let me know, I'll see what I can do.
Also, almost 1K reads, I'm so happy! Thank you so much for everything my dear readers, you guys make me so happy! I hope you would continue supporting me.