[wattys shortlist 2018]
Colton has always hated Alexis. It's as simple as that.
Alexis has never hated Colton though, not even after the night havoc was let loose: chaos caused by him.
This summer, Alexis doesn't expect to be reunited with her to...
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I find him sitting at the edge of Cliff Cotibus. Familiarity washes over me and I pick a stray twig out of my hair, fiddling with it. What do I do now?
Eyes fixated, I watch him in the darkness, the only light cascading through the gaps of the leaves and lighting an intricate web on his face. His eyes drift sideways and he lifts a hand to tug at the soft strands of his face before his body heaves. A strangled cry chokes his words and I gnaw on my lip, tasting sweet bitterness on them.
"Hey," I whisper, moving closer.
He turns. A lone tear perched on his cheekbones but he wipes at it quickly. "Alexis?"
I sit down next to him, draping my legs over the edge, feeling the rough stone cold against my legs. Silence shouts around us and I snap the twig feverishly, unsure.
"Are you okay?" I try.
Regardless of how rocky our relationship is, it would hurt to see anyone looking so lost like him. I'm sure.
He turns to me, letting out another sigh. "Honestly? No."
"Want to talk about it?"
"It's just, I was doing so well and now I feel I'm back at stage one all over again."
I don't know how to reply to that so I settle for doing what I know best; apologising. "I'm sorry."
"Why? It isn't your fault, if anything it's mine. I wasn't ready to come back and I fucked everything up." He rubs his brow before looking at me dead in the eye. "I wasn't totally oblivious to what my boys were doing but I wasn't thinking, I was reacting and I let them continue even though I shouldn't have."
"Oh."
"Dammit." He runs a hand through his hair. "I wish I could just think things through before running off on a tangent."
"Loads of people get lost in the heat of the moment, don't beat yourself up about it." I offer. Am I actually trying to comfort him?
"It's not the same though, others people don't practically kill others."
I extend my hand out slowly, curling it around his back and placing it on his shoulder. His body tenses, his spine become stiff for a second as I start to rub small circles onto his back. I guess I am.
Without knowing it, perhaps Colton and I were finally building a bridge? Our differences and difficulties, uniting us.
"We all have our demons Colton," I say, softly, "and I being too weak to stand up to you probably didn't help in giving you a gage on where to stop."
"That's the thing, if you'd stood up, I think things would've been worse."
"But they weren't."
He leaps up, clenching his fists. "I hurt people, Alexis, I really hurt people."
A ragged breath escapes, and he starts pacing around. "I mean look at what I did to you for fucksake, I completely destroyed you."
