CHAPTER 11

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    * Gerard's pov *

     Today is my 50th therapist appointment!  We pulled into the parking lot. We got out of the car and went inside. Mr. Dun and Mr. Joseph greeted me when we walked in. Mrs. Hife sat down in the waiting room, while I followed my therapists to their office. We sat down in our normal seats. Mr. Dun then asked, "How do you feel today?"

    I shrugged my shoulders at them. " Ok Gerard, have you cut since we last saw you?"

     I shakes my head no at them. Mr. Joseph walked over and lifted both my sleeves up. Both of them were clean. I haven't cut in almost 2 months. Good job Gerard. 2 months you haven't hurt yourself. Considering you cut for 6 and a half years. Mr. Dun looked at me and said, "Gerard, is he talking to you again?"

     I shakes my head yes. Mr. Dun wrote down something, then we kept our session going. At the end of the session, we all three walked out. Mrs. Hife asked me, "Gerard, can you please go out to the car please."

     I shaked my head yes, then I walked outside. A couple minutes later Mrs. Hife walked to the car with a slip of paper in her hand. She got in the car and stuck it in her purse. She then started the car back up. But instead of driving back to the home, she drove us to the drug store. She parked the car and grabbed the slip out of her purse. She then said, "Stay right here, this will only take a minute."

     She got out of the car and walked into the store.  Gerard I'm now stuck on a new kind of medication. Wonder what it's for. I sighed and stared out the window waiting.  Great more pills. They really think your crazy don't they. But you aren't are you Gerard? Your crazy for not talking. Your crazy for cutting too, but you still do don't YouI was pushed our of my thoughts when the car alarm went off.  Mrs. Hife got in and we left. When we pulled into the house, she stopped the car in the driveway. She looked over at me, "Gerard, they are putting you on a new medicine. It's to help stop him from talking to you, ok?"

     I shaked my head yes. She then handed me  new bottle of pills. I looked at the bottle, then back up at Mrs. Hife. She parked the car and I got out. I walked in the house to hear Bob playing his drum set. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple. I then walked up to my room. I locked my door behind me and went over and sat down on my bed. I pulled out my small blade that was in my bed. I rolled up my sleeve and looked at all the scars that we on it.  Do It! Harm yourself again Gerard. Do it! I quickly slide the blade over my arm. I then let the blood drip onto one of my new canvases. Once it stopped bleeding, I looked at the picture. It was very pretty and looked like a huge tree. I took a picture, then sat the painting in a pile with the others. I rolled down my sleeves and put the blade back under my bed. I posted the picture and it got about 300 likes in less than 15 minutes.  I put my phone down on my stand. I laid down on my bed and fell asleep.

I woke up and it was 3:35am. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I went in and turned on the shower. I took off my clothes and got in. I cleaned off my body and rinsed my hair. It was actually pretty long. Then I got out and dried off. I wrapped my towel around my waist and I walked back to my room. When I got there, I put my dirty clothes and towel in my hamper. I put on a pair of my pants on and a black sweatshirt. I grabbed my phone off of the charger. I looked at my picture and saw it had over 700 likes already. I slipped my phone into my  pants and opened my bedroom door. I walked down the hall to the kitchen. I turned on the light and opened the fridge. I found a container with my name on it and pulled it out. I grabbed a fork and sat down at the table. I ate my food in the dark. Once I was done, I went back to my room. I went over and laid down on my bed. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

*Gerard dream*

     I woke up in my bed. Today is the 5th day of middle school. I got up and got dressed. I went in and got Mikey up. He got dressed as I ran downstairs,  my mom was in the kitchen drinking her coffee. I ran up to her and she handed me my lunch box. I took it and shoved it into my back pack. Mikey came down and got his lunch. He grabbed his backpack and we walked to the bus stop. We got on the bus. Mikey got off at the Elementary. I got off at the middle school. I went to my locker and got my books. I closed my locker and began to walk down the hall. I heard Brendon scream, "Hey everyone, Gerard Way is gay!"

     Everyone stopped walking and looked at me. I dead stopped. All my books fell to the ground. Everyone stared laughing at me. I needed to run away somewhere. I ran to the bathroom. When I walked in, there was a boy sitting on the floor. I walked over to him. I sat down beside him. I then said, "What's your name and why are you sitting in the bathroom?"

     "My name's berd and I'm in here cutting."

     He pulled out a pack of razors. He opened it up and handed me one. I rolled up my sleeve. I looked over at very. He shakes his head, then I slowly slid the blade across my skin. The blood starts do drip onto the floor. Bert stood up and helped me up. I rolled down my sleeve and walked to the mirror. "You've never cut before, have you?"

     I shaked my head no and started to hand him back his razor. He looked at me and said, "Keep it, you can use it more than I could."

     "Thanks Bert."

     I stuck the razor in My pocket, then I walked out of the bathroom. Everyone was In class by now. I picked up my books and went to class.

    *Gerard's pov*

     I woke up covered in sweat. I got up and changed my clothes. I then walked out my door. Everyone was In the hall on their way to breakfast. I followed after everyone. We all sat down at the table. Everyone was dressed, but Mrs. Hife. We had eggs and bacon. Once we were done eating, everyone else went out the front door to school. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote. Mrs. Hife, when came I go back to school?  I then stuck it on the fridge. I went in and sat down on the couch. A dog documentary was on. I sat there and watched it. Mrs. Hife came in and paused the show. She walked over and sat down beside me. "Gerard, do you want to go back to school?"

     I shaked my Head yes. She looked at me and said, "Well, you can't go back this year, you can go next year. But you will have to redo you Jr. Year though. Ok?"

     I shakes my head yes again. Mrs. Hife got up and walked away.

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