Chapter 21 Therapy session.

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This morning, Harry shook me awake. I was way to tired for this. He kept shaking me but i just turned and tried to shove him away.

"Jennifer Lillian Page, we have to go to the threrapist today. Will you quit being so stubborn and get your ass out of bed." He said folding his arms and in an angry tone. I looked at him and saw the angry look on his face. I got up and dragged my self to the closet. I totally forgot that we are going to the therapist today. Yaay so excited.. not. I dont want to go but at the same time i want to get better. I put on some skinny jeans and I stripped shirt. I straghten my hair and went down stairs. Everyone was sitting on the couch watching tv. I had to go cause of my stupid appointment.

"Good luck Jen." Zayn said smiling at me. I smiled back at him and walked out the door. I saw Harry sitting in the car waiting. He looked angry for some reason. I went in the car and was silent till Harry turned to me.

"Look, Im sorry i was in a bad mood. I just want to hurry up and get you to therapy." He said focusing on driving. I smiled at him cause he cared. I grabbed one of his hands and held it tight. I was really nervous to meet up with the therapist. When we got there i never let Harry's hand go.

"Hello, My girlfriend Jennifer Page has an apointment today." He said walking up to the front desk.

"Ah yes, Dr. Trueman will be with you shortly." She said looking at her computer screen. Harry and i sat down . Then a brown haired lady that looked about fourty  came out scaning the room.

"Jennifer Page. You may come in now." She said. I stood up and looked at Harry. He nodded his head. I walked in and saw her with her legs crossed and she was writing down something."Please lay down on the couch right there." I layed down looking up at the ceiling. " So tell me what has happened to you in your life." she said to me. I took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Well when i was about six, my parents has gotten in a divorce. Then i moved to england cause my father lived here and my mother didnt really have time to take care of me. I went to work one day with my father on x-factor and interviewed people. Then i met Harry." I smiled like an idiot. Just laying there smling.

"So is Harry a big part of your life now?" She asked me.

"Well, He left me to go on tour a day after our day. We didnt contact eachother for two years. But then i saw him at a concert my old friend wanted to go to. We had back stage passes so we got to meet them then well we made up and he has been with me ever since." I explained to her.

"Your old friend? What has happened to you and your friend?" She said to me. here we go again.

"Well, Her boyfriend Zayn was in love with me and he told her that and it crushed her. I didnt have any control over it so i didnt really know what to think. I just lost my best friend you know. I was devistated. But then that night i went to the club with my boyfriend and the one direction family and well things got out of hand. Somethng that hurt me ." I said holding back my tears and taking a deep breath. She looked at me like she wanted me to go on. "I saw her at the club sitting a couple seats from me drinking and well i was going to appoligize but Harry pulled me in for a dance. You see he was kind of drunk and well after we danced i looked for My old friend but couldnt find her then  i saw a big crowd and i asked liam if hes seen Angel and well he pointed at the middle of the circle and i went in and saw my boyfriend and that bitch snogging." I said with an angry tone. My heart began to race.

"I see your angry now: She said writing it all down. Of course i was angry. " So what happened after wards.?" she asked.

"Well I ran out and Zayn helped me but i didnt care. I cut my wrist badly that i lost so much blood. I broke up with Harry but then i couldnt even last a day with out him." I said smilng. "Oh and there was this one time were i went to New York and my mom was getting remarried to some dood and I got hit by a car and i was raped. So many things has happened in america. I got on the news a lot too."  said to her with no emotions on my face. She just nodded her head and wrote stuff down. " Now this is something that happened recently and well i think it effected my life even more." I said . I started to tear up again but this time i let it fall. " My father just passed away from a car crash. It tore me apart and well i just dont know what to do" I said crying . My hands were shaking now. She sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Shuu sweety. I see what your problem is. When your parents divorced , It was a big change in your life. You may have a hard time dealing with it and well when your dad died it was just another life change. Your whole life is a rollercoster Jen." She said to me. I lifeted my head out of my hands and looked at her . What  does she mean by roller coster.

"What do you mean by roller coster?" I asked her. She looked at me and took a deep breath.

"Well, You have had so many ups and downs in your life that it is effecting you really badly. I think maybe you need to get away from it all." she said to me. No i dont want to get away from it. I dont want to leave my one direction family. I dont want to leave my boy friend.

" No i just cant leave my family. I love them all so much that its just going to cause more pain. Please dont take me away from them." I said begging. I cried again not wanting to get away from them. I understand that my life has been so stressful but i dont think i could go even go a day without Harry. She looked at me and walked up to the counter. Harry came in and put his arms around me.

"What happened?" He asked me.

"Well they want me to get away from you guys for a while but i really dont want to Harry. If i stay away from you, i feel like i just fell off a mountain." I said to him cluching my stomache. Ugh i feel so sick. She came back wit a little medication pills in her hands.

"Sweety. Your suffering from depression. You need to take this every day okay? I know this is hard but i promise this will help you out in life. Just try to clear your mind more and think positive and you will be back to normal." She said to me smiling. I gave her a big hug, A way to show her that i was happy she wasnt going to take me away from my family. I hung on to Harrys hand and walked along with him to the car. I was really happy that i wont be taken from my family i mean i love these guys. I came home and saw everyone sitting on tv. They looked back at me and greeted me back home. Oh boy i was happy to see them. I jumped on Louis which made him grunt a little. He started to tickle me and i tried not to laugh but it was impossible. I was laughing like a idiot. I went up stairs and turned on some music. It was Want you back by Cher Lloyd. I love her so much. She is litteraly like my insperation. She competed against one direction. I love her songs and her voice. I went to go take my meds and went back to my room and flooped on the bed. I took out all the bad things in my head. Honestly its actually working. I felt happy and calm. Harry came in and layed next to me. He held me tight and kissed my lips.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me smiling into my eyes.

"Harry, As long as you are in my life. I am happy." I said smilng back. We cuddled on the bed listening to Cher. Funny right? One direction kid listening to Cher. Hes okay with it I guess. I unwrapped my wrist and saw the cuts. It was brutal , what i have done to myself. I dont know what was really wrong with me. I just had so much emotions balled up that it came out when i slit my wrist. Harry took my wrist and started kissing each scrach. I kind of fliniched each time he kissed my wrist. It hurt a bit but it was cute for him to kiss it for me. I looked out side for a minute and saw Angel walking down our street. God that bitch got some nerves walking by our house. She wasnt welcomed around here anymore. She saw looking at her and i turned away quick. Oh god why did i make eye contact with the devil. I started taking deep breaths again and cleared my mind. I went down stairs with Harry and went to go get something to drink. Hm how about some vodka. Havent had that for a while now. I reached in my cabin and took it. I mixed it a little with some Cola. Tasted real good. I got a bit drunk considering the fact i almost drank the whole bottle.  I fell once and started to laugh. Harry picked me up and carried me up stairs.

"Harry what are you doing? I was just laughing" I said kicking away from him.

"Your drunk. Out of no where you start drinking? What is wrong with you?" He said to me with a scared look on his face. I grabbed my clothes and went to go shower. I came back out and sat on my bed. Harry layed next to me but didnt wrap his arm around me. I was kind of scared he was mad so i turned to him.

"Harry im sorry i drank. I just felt like i needed a little more fun in my life" I said to him . Just looked up then turned to me. We staired at each other for about a minute.

"Just done worry about it. I dont want to see you drinking thats all" He said to me. I kissed his cheek then turned back. A headache stared to appear in my head. I sighed a bit then He finally wrapped his arms around my waist. Oh thank god. I needed him to do that. I love this boy .

"I love you Jen" He whispered in my ear giving me shivers down my spine.

"I love you too Harry" I said back. I closed my eyes with my headache getting worse. I didnt care i just wanted to sleep.

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