My I ➵ Seventeen - junhui

5.10

The comeback was a success. It was much more than a success. They hit first in the charts and carats had streamed to 5 million views on the first three days. The manager was overjoyed, of course. But Jun couldn't say that for himself.

He felt nervous, more than excited. Yijae had messaged him good news, however. Yenling had seen the ticket and the keychain, and after a session of convincing her to go, with Siyu using her not so brilliant convincing skills, Yenling had reluctantly decided to go to the concert.

She did question why the hell those things were there on her doorstep, but neither Siyu nor Yijae saw the need to answer that.

That was a good thing. Or maybe not. Jun wasn't so sure.

He wasn't too sure about anything now.

He had told the others about this shocking piece of information, that Yenling was alive, and well, and lived only about twenty minutes away.

Seokmin actually burst into tears after hearing that, tears of relief, Jun assumed. Seungkwan too. Even Vernon had tears in his eyes. The rest just sat in stunned silence. Minghao didn't speak, he sat there, a giant smile on his face. Soonyoung dropped his glass of water, causing it to shatter on the floor. He didn't even bother cleaning it up after he heard that the ticket was given to Yenling. He was especially pleased with himself.

Coups announced they were to put on the best concert yet, just for Yenling. That was why Jun was so nervous today. There were no room for failures, no time for mistakes. This was his last chance of making things right again.

His makeup artist murmured for him to stay still. Jun had been unconsciously fidgeting in his seat, so it seemed. He sat still, staring at himself in the mirror, as the makeup artist applied powder to his cheeks.

He wondered what Yenling saw in him. What exactly did she fall in love with? His looks? That was shallow. His identity as a kpop idol? That was also on the surface. Yenling had never specified what she liked about him.

Sure, she mentioned how cute he was when he was shy, when he fumbled with his Korean and when he acted so awkwardly in front of the others. But really, why did she agree to date him?

In her note, she said the reason why she liked him couldn't be expressed in mere words. Another memory tugged in his mind: When he acted heartbroken and disgusted by her when she failed in answer the question "Why do you like me?", a question proposed by Sunhee, who knew that Yenling could not answer it.

Sometimes, Jun wondered if Sunhee knew more about Yenling than he did. That was truly a scary thought.

If only they had spent more time together, Jun wistfully thought, so that he could know more about her. Everything about her. Her favorite food, favorite color, favorite pastime. Understand her personality a better. Learn what she disliked, and avoided it. These things felt almost unnecessary then, when he was so busy with work. But now, even these little things seemed more important than anything else.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. There was no point regretting the past. Today was what matters.

Backstage, staff was running about, shouting orders and such. Jun, with finished makeup and costume, peeked out of the curtains into the crowd. There were people everywhere. But even then, he had no doubt that he would notice Yenling in this big audience. To him, she would be in the spotlight, the only person that matters.

"Jun." Minghao was calling him. "Jun, I think I see her." He was on the other side of the stage, behind the curtain. Jun hurried to join him. He looked to where Minghao was pointing.

There, in the front row, was her. She looked uncertain, almost timid. Of course, Jun reminded himself, that was because this was the same crowd that expelled her from the audience last time, under Sunhee's influence.