My I ➵ Seventeen - junhui

3.6

He leaned away, and I was suddenly aware that I was still staring at him like a gaping fish.

He kissed me.

Jun kissed me.

"I'm sorry." He said, his face now scarlet. He was looking at his hands, as if he couldn't believe what he had done. "I shouldn't have done that." Mumbling, he stood up, and paced back and forth, his hands now covering his face.

"Why?" It came out barely as a whisper. "Why?" I repeated, this time, my voice cracking.

"And here I thought I could hold back." He sighed, his hands falling to his sides and he finally returned me gaze. And then he cringed suddenly, covering his face once more. "I can't believe it." He muttered. "I kissed her. Someone kill me. Minghao would definitely kill me."

Was kissing me that much of a shock? I fell out of my stupor, regaining some of my senses which have seemingly turned themselves off during the kiss. I was now on the verge of freaking out. I mean, holy fucking Jisoos. What were the odds of your crush suddenly kissing you? And an idol, at that.

Calm down. Save the screaming for later.

I took a deep breath, untangling my jumbled up nerves. The power of Wen Junhui. One little brush of the lips can leave me melting into a puddle of my own happiness.

I watched as Jun approached the wall and started to repeatedly bash his forehead against it. I winced. A surge of confidence swept inside me, a feeling I have never felt before. I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the wall and back on to the sofa besides me. He was still muttering under his breath, eyes wild with both anxiousness, disbelief and excitement.

Poor boy. He was more shocked than me. Funny, seeing how he was the one that kissed me, not the other way around.

"Jun," I said loudly, "You have such a conflicting personality."

"What do you mean?" He managed to reply, looking up at me.

"You're the one that kissed me." I pointed out. "Yet you get embarrassed by it."

"I don't know." He shook his head. "I don't know what went over me."

"And sometimes, you act like a narcissistic, rude, sexy ball of grease. And other times, you act like a shy little fluffy cinnamon roll that can hardly speak in front of the camera and has zero confidence in whatever you do." Like now, I added silently. Like how you openly flirted with Sunhee, but tried to kill yourself after you kissed me.

"I know I'm weird." He said. I could tell he had calmed down by now. His fingers stopped twitching, and he was now looking me in the eye without flicking away. He let out a content sigh, and smiled. "I mean, what's wrong with being both? Sexy and innocently cute like you?"

"That's highly contrasting, and-" I stopped short. "What did you say?"

"Uhh, nothing." He flushed bright red once more.

"I'm sure you said something." I grinned. "Repeat that."

"I said," he turned away, scratching the back of his neck, his voice dropping low. "Never mind."

"Why did you kiss me, Junhui?"

He froze, his hand still on his neck.

"You haven't answered me yet."  I kept my tone casual, which was a challenge. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he gave me an answer.