My saviour...

#17

'I want to be honest with you Owen- my last relationship was a complete shambles and if I'm being completely honest I don't know how to be in a relationship. I'm not an easy person to love. Owen your 22 years old and your going out with a girl who can't meet new people, be in crowds, small spaces, talking to people, knocking on doors, I don't sleep at night, i'm scared, worried, nervous and desperate. I've never felt loved by anyone other them family. I see things that aren't actually there. I'm not a normal 22.' I looked at Owen worried for his reply. 'Jasmine, I want to be honest to. I don't care if i'm 22- I have the girl i've always loved and i'd rather be curled up in bed watching a film eating chocolate with you then clubbing. I know you struggled and in some ways you still are. i want to love and protect you. I'm not going to promise you anything that i can't go through with. So I promise to always love, support and protect you and you never have to go through anything alone.' Owen smiled and pulled me into a cuddle. I snuggled into his embrace and the warmth and protection that surrounded me made me feel safe and comforted. 'Owen. I can truly say I love you i've never felt this way about anyone. I don't know what happened tonight I just started thinking about christmas and memories flooded back that truthfully I didn't want to remember.' I wrapped my hands around Owen and snuggled into his chest. 'You don't need to be worried about christmas. I think we're all spending it together, I know you want it to be new year but don't wish the year away baby we can start making memories now and this christmas your going to feel like a princess I promise.' I smiled at the thought of me and Owen being together forever. I felt different.. warm.. happy I wasn't sure but I liked this feeling. Owen pulled me onto his lap and I hugged him tightly wishing we could stay like this forever.

After a few minutes I got up and decided to go downstairs and get a tea. 'Want a drink? I'm getting a tea.' I asked. 'Yeah i'll join you.' Owen replied reaching for my hand. We walked out the door with our hands intertwined. As we approached the stairs I let go of Owen's hand and smiled at him.

As we got to the kitchen we could hear everyone sat in the living room. A panic grew inside me about walking in there and I took a deep breath and followed Owen. 'Everything ok?' Eddie asked. 'Yeah' I smiled and went to join my dad. 'I'll go and make drinks' Owen said smiling clearly just having asked what everyone wanted. I smiled at him and turned to my dad. 'You like him don't you' My father asked, 'Yes I believe I do dad. I'm being careful though i'm still working on things.' 'Jasmine it's ok to move on. You were in pain and your dealing with the hurt but it's ok to move on Jasmine. It's ok to find comfort with someone. I see the way you look at each other you love him don't you.' my dad smiled and nodded reassuringly. 'He makes me feel warm, safe, loved and I smile and laugh all day when I'm with him. I never thought someone could love me and make me feel like he does. I forget my worries when i'm with him because he makes me feel so happy.' I smiled and looked at my dad who was beaming. 'I love you Jasmine. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. Don't be scared to more on- Owen loves you Jasmine. Your brother told me how close you and Owen are, no one is going to judge you or be disappointed- truthfully we want you and Owen to make a go of things but it's completely down to you both.' He said hugging me. Just then Owen returned with tea. I stood up and accepted the steaming mug. 'Can we go upstairs Faz? i'm a bit tired.' I said - Owen nodded and I accepted his hand to pull myself up.

Me and Owen went upstairs and I was glad to be alone again. 'What are you doing tomorrow?' I asked hugging Owen to which he accepted and embraced me into a hug. 'Well there's no training so I thought we could have a relaxed morning and then do something with your parents?' Owen said smiling.

Owen p.o.v

'Can we go upstairs?' Jasmine asked. I nodded and reached out my hand helping her up. I smiled remembering what me and James had planned. Soon me and James were going to be busy training and Jasmine's parents are going to be back in Ireland so we decided that a puppy might be a good decision. It will keep her company and give her a reason to go out. It might even bring me and Jasmine even closer because we'll have an excuse to go out with the pup. I just hoped Jasmine agrees and doesn't think we're pushing her into anything. Jasmine snapped me out of my thoughts by saying 'What are you doing tomorrow?' while she wrapped her arms around my neck. I laughed at her standing on her tiptoes and lifted her up while giving her a cuddle. I replied to her question and placed jasmine down gently. I went to pull off my shirt and paused- 'Is this ok?' I asked, 'Course it is Owen.' Jasmine giggled and walked towards me. She helped pull off my top and she draw circles on my chest. Something she done when she was thinking. 'What are you thinking about?' I asked walking to the bed and pulling Jasmine onto my lap. 'Just something dad said earlier..' Jasmine must of seen my sudden worry and finished her sentence quickly, 'He's ok with us being a thing Faz. He said that James told him how close we were and that they want us to be a thing because they can tell we love each other.' 'That's good Jas.' i said smiling pulled Jasmine closer. 'Want to watch a film?' I asked. 'Yeah i'd like that.' Jasmine replied.

Jasmine went and got the ipad and put on bad neighbours. Jasmine threw her socks on the chair and we snuggled up into bed. Unfortunately I fell asleep soon after.

I was exhausted after being at work all day so I was glad to be home and surprise my amazing boyfriend to a perfect night in. I had picked up some indian on the way home as it was 5:30. I put the key in the door and replied to my brother about meeting at the weekend. I opened the door and heard faint moaning upstairs. I rushed up pledding it was a stupid film or even porn- Ben couldn't do this to me again. I barged through the door and to my dismay Ben was fucking someone else. I immediately rushed out crying. I ran downstairs and to the kitchen shortly followed by Ben. 'Shit Jasmine. I didn't think you'd be home already. I'm really sorry please forgive me.' Ben begged. 'No I can't..' I sobbed. 'I love you.' Ben said reaching for my arm. 'No' I shouted snatching my arm away 'If you did you wouldn't be in our bedroom fucking someone else. This is the fourth time this has happened Ben this isn't fair.' I cried and noticed Ben's female sexual friend had ran out the door. Ben reached for my arm and went to the bathroom and locked the door. Ben knocked on the door and begged for me to open the door but I didn't want to face him. I scanned the selves and a razor caught my attention. No I can't I mustn't I shouldn't. I grabbed the blade and hovered above my arm. The only question raced through my mind- who was going to stop me. I dragged the blade across my arm and flinched at the sting. I kept going trying to cut away the pain- literally. I was alone and no one cared. I felt relieved and patted away the blood. I covered the fresh cuts and pulled my sleeve down not wanting to draw attention. I came out of the bedroom and Ben was wiping the curry off the floor as I had dropped the food in shock. Ben must of heard the door because he turned around and sighed. 'I've thought about all possible outcomes and i've decided to stay. I love you Ben but this can't happen again. You need help because this isn't fair.' I cried. I woke up suddenly- I was breathing heavy, tears streaming down my face and I looked down at my bare arm and the scars stood out and I rubbed them like it was possible that they could be wiped away.

*sorry it's a bit boring at the moment. I'm trying to think of new storylines but I don't want it to be dramatically different.