My saviour...

#14

'It's good. I'm moving on, me and Ben were bad for each other. I'm completely over him and i'm discovering what I want in life more and more everyday. I'm working on me and I feel great.' I smiled and squeezed my mum's hands. 'Me and Owen had a catch up the other night and I realised that I've missed me and the life I led before Ben.' soon after Eddie returned with tea and biscuits and everyone took a break with a small silence, this quickly ended by Colleen and my mum sharing secret conversions- I noticed that they keep saying looking at me smiling so I decided to ask 'What are you two up to?' I smiled, grabbing Owen's hand under the table. 'We planned to surprise you but never got round to it' Colleen chuckled slightly. 'Me and your dad thought it would be nice if me and your dad, James, Chloe, Andy, Colleen, Owen and you went away for a few days- it would just be a small cottage somewhere quiet and we could take the dogs on walks. We can fully catch up and I would love us to have some time all together.' my mum finished. 'Honestly I would love that. I miss family time and I've missed us altogether.' I smiled and the conversation developed to talking about holiday plans.

Two hours had passed since my parents had arrived and conversation was good. We had covered everything that happened with Ben and the family holiday plans. At the moment everyone was talking about what was going to happen in the near future. 'What is everyone doing tonight?' Andy asked 'I was just thinking it would good if we grabbed some food?' 'I don't think we have any plans to be honest dad?' Owen said whilst looking around the table. Eddie returned with a pot of tea and coffee. 'It would be nice to go out together. Where would we go?' I asked slowly picking up Owen's hand under the table. He smirked and I squeezed his hand gently. 'I know a cute pub nearby that we could book a room because that way we could go out for dinner but also be away from the public and noise.' my phone buzzed from in my pocket, I let go of Owen's hand and looked at the message it was from John asking how everything was going. 'May I be excused for a few minutes I'd like to make a phone call to John who is my therapist and counselor.' I questioned. Everyone nodded so I got up and whispered to Owen that I wouldn't be long, everything was ok and I just wanted to update John because I was glad things were finally starting to feel right again.

I went upstairs to Owen's room and sat down on the bed. I got myself a bottle of water and began to facetime John and a few seconds later he answered. 'Hi Jasmine. How is everything?' John's positive happy smiling face beamed. 'Hi, everything is ok. I was shocked and nervous when faced with my parents for the first time in a while but they were lovely and understanding. They were interested in what is happening at the moment and were also shocked about what had happened. We're planning on going out for something to eat later on all together which is going to be nice I believe. I'm still cautious and worried about being around them because I feel like i've let them down but I haven't realised until today how much progress i've made over the last few days even. I havent been gone from Ben for that long but I feel a world away from where I was when I was with Ben. Although there is one thing. I love Owen, John. I was scared to say it outloud because I wasn't completely sure if that's how I truly felt but i really do. I feel safe and loved when i'm with him. I feel like I can have a future with him and i'm unbelievably happy when i'm with him.' 'That's so good Jasmine. I'm glad your realising how amazing you are. I know things have and are still confusing at the moment but you and Owen are so good together. You two seemed to have just clicked. You smile bigger, laugh louder and sleep longer and deeper than I thought was possible. If you are sure that Owen is who you love, then there is no reason why you two shouldn't try to be together. I think you two could and would make each other very happy. The only thing i'll say is make sure it is what you want. Make sure your trust, love, confidence and respect is with Owen completely genuine. I think you should talk to Owen and make sure you both know where each other is. You need to trust him with everything and i'm not sure if your at that stage yet. It's clear you love and respect each other but also you need to have confidence in yourself and Owen. See where each other is mentally and try to spend more time alone together.' John said smiling. ''I was going to speak to Owen after my parents had gone to the hotel. I love him. respect him and have confidence in him but I always expect owen to be like ben and i don't like or believe in myself right now.' I replied unsure of what I was saying, I knew I needed to talk to Owen but I wasn't sure what I was going to say. 'My parents have invited everyone to go away on a joint family holiday some point next year.. Anyway I better get back to them shortly.' I replied sipping some water. 'Yeah course, the holiday sounds good and I'll see you soon.' Eddie said waving.

I returned to the table and picked up Owen's hand again. Everyone agreed that we would meet at 6 o'clock at the pub and Andy was going to book the place. And with that my mum and dad said they were going to head back to the hotel and settle in. Andy and colleen were going home to tidy. Me, Owen, Chloe and James didn't have any plans that I knew of. Everyone got up and left and the we remained at the table. 'Wanna watch a film?' James asked. 'I'm a bit tired actually bro I going to try and make the most of it by going upstairs and attempting to sleep.' I said exhausted. 'I'll keep you company if you want?' Owen asked smiling. 'Yes please Faz.' Me and Owen made out way upstairs and sat on the bed. 'Faz can I borrow your laptop? I want to order some clothes and stuff.' I asked hugging him. 'Yeah sure' I grabbed Owen's laptop and went on Victoria Secret and Ann summers to order some underwear. Next i went on Topshop, Zara and New look to see if there was any new clothes available. Finally I decided to treat myself and order a camera, tripod, macbook, lights and memory cards. Once I had finished i closed the laptop and lied down- Owen was already lying down so i snuggled close to him. 'Owen! I was talking to John earlier and I think I need to talk to you about things more. I've discovered that I love you more than I thought. I want to be with you more than ever. I love and respect you. I have confidence in you that you'll love, support and protect me but I can't trust enough yet. I really want us to be together but i'm scared that we'll get together and we won't work out because I can't trust properly yet.' I buried into Owens's neck. 'I love you too and I want us to be together but I agree you need to love and forgive yourself before we can work.' Owen placed his hand under my chin and kissed me on the cheek. His lips were warm and soft, I smiled at his at gesture.