My saviour...

#9

Jasmine p.o.v

'Morning bro.' I said as James trudged sleepily down the stairs. Me and Owen fell asleep on the sofa again last night. 'Morning sis, John's coming round for a meeting today- he said there are a couple of things that he feels is important to discuss with you.' 'Ok thank you James.' I replied smiling. I was nervous for today's meeting but it was needed and I need to move on. 'Mum and dad are coming over today- they are staying at a hotel around the corner. They said they love you.' Just as James was walking away Owen rolled over 'Morning sleepy' I said giggling. 'Morning beautiful' Owen said- oh my god is morning voice is so hot... anyway getting back to today. Owen checked the time from his phone and jumped up saying he had a personal training session soon.

A few minutes later and John walked through the door 'I'm slightly early, but shall we start?' he asked. 'Yeah ok' I jumped up and got some boots and a coat on. 'Have you read any more of the book?' John asked.

'A little bit, i'm enjoying being around people. I'm rekindling relationships- friendships. I'm thinking about a career. Me and James are just getting to know each other again. Me and Owen are talking and he's being really understanding... Me and Ben are toxic to each other and i've learnt now that I didn't need to change- to some people it might seem as though i've moved on really quickly but it's easier pretending I'm fine. If I'm being completely honest i'm struggling...' I sobbed.

'How would you feel about having a meeting with James or Owen?' John asked 'It's completely up to you- if your not ready.. it's fine.'

'No I want them both to be here- I want to move away from this situation and be honest with them.' tears were streaming down my face- i've been lying to myself since leaving Ben..

''I'll go and get then' and with that I sat on one of the outside sofas and wrapped my coat a little tighter around me. Soon after John returned with Owen and James. James kneeled down next to me and pulled me into a hug- 'I'm here for you but it's time for you to recover properly now.' 'Thank you' I replied as James stood up and Owen came and sat next to me 'I want to help you but i need you to help me help you' Owen replied pulled his arm around my shoulders.

'All this time i've been trying to show everyone I'm fine because I don't want sympathy- I just want to feel safe and happy. If I hadn't ran from Ben that night I'd still be there frightened and scared of what was going to happen next. If James hadn't been here.. If no one believed me.. If no one forgave me... Why did you forgive me James? Why don't you hate me Owen? Why are you helping me, when I have no job, no house, no car- no future right now..'

'But you did run from Ben, I was here and you were and still are covered in bruises and scars. Even lifting my knee you jumped and flinched. When you saw Eddie's belt you looked scared. Your my little sister, I loved and love you. I knew there was a reason Jas. We've all missed you and we all want to help. Your 22- the future doesn't have to be the main concern right now. When you've got to a place where your truly happy, we can all help you get the future you really want.' 'I completely agree Hask- Jas i've never hated you. You already know my feelings and I hope you can begin happy very soon.' Faz said stroking my hand slightly.

'This sounds strange but even though I asleep aside Owen. I sit with James or Chloe or Eddie during the day when Owen's working. Chloe sits outside the bathroom when I'm showering or bathing. I'm in a building with security and full of rugby players yet i'm scared all the time. When me and Ben were ok- I developed anorexia, I weighed under 4 stone at one point. Then I got help from work- but developed bulimia. This carried on until Ben locked me into a room. When I get handed a plate of food there's no one screaming at me now threatening me. No one calls me fat or a slut. When i'm alone I think about all the times Ben hit me. The first time I laid down next to Owen I was terrified because I straight away expected time to force himself upon me even though I trust and know him- I just expected it. Every loud noise, belt or change scares me. I hated myself for months, I was suicidal. I felt like I had no one and that no one would love me.' I cried. 'I've had depression, anxiety and panic and anxiety attacks since i was 13. I don't know what to do. Mum and dad are coming round soon and I want am I gonna say.'