Demolition Lovers (Frank Iero)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

~HOLLY'S POV~

Everything was happening way too fast. First I'm pregnant, now apparently, I'm moving in with Gerard, and he wants us to be a family? It was too much for me to handle in one day. I wasn't sure if a family with Gerard is what I really wanted... I knew that I loved him... I just didn't think that it was the same kind of love he had for me. I mean, Gerard is great, and he does care about me, and I do care about him too... It's just that... 

I'm not sure about anything right now.

Frank?

Or Gerard?

Or neither? .... Should I just move on? Make a new start? I don't know if I can do that... Leaving behind Frank would be impossible for me. He was the one who helped me through everything, and so did Gerard. Leaving them wasn't an option, but...

Dammit, I was fucking confused. 

Do I still love Frank?.... Yes, of course I do. I was wrong to cheat on him, and I knew that. I loved him more than I'd ever loved someone. He was the man that I'd been in love with. The other day at the hospital... Did he mean it when he said that he still loved me? I hope so...

Gerard walked into the living room where I was sitting on the couch, and I immediately felt guilty for thinking about Frank like that because here Gerard was, stepping up to be a dad to the baby that was most likely his, and all I can think about is how I love another man more.

Okay, so I'm a horrible person. I get it. 

"Hey, Baby." He smiled and took a seat next to me. The word baby bothered me and made me glance down to my belly. Shit, there's already a bump... Knowing that I was pregnant was a bizarre feeling. I mean, it's not like I could feel the baby inside me just yet, but just knowing that their was a human growing inside me was weird...

"Hey." Gerard noticed me staring at my stomach, and leaned over to put his hand over it while he grinned down to it.

"Y'know, Gerard, I'm not far along enough for you to feel anything..."

He let out a giggle and pulled his hand away. "That's my bad, I'm just... I'm excited. I'm going to be a dad!"

"Yeah.." I said quietly. I wasn't really in the mood for acting excited about the baby. Gerard wasn't the one who would have to carry it around inside of him for nine months, and he wasn't the one that would have to break the news to Frank tomorrow. Everything was on me, but I guess I got myself into this mess, so I deserve it.

"Baby," Damn, he said that word again..."You want to get to bed now? It's getting late."

"Sure." We walked to his bedroom, and he lent me a shirt to wear to sleep. I went in the bathroom that and locked the door. I just needed to be alone for a moment. Everything was happening too fast...

I was about to slip into his over-sized shirt when I caught sight of my belly in the mirror. It was already poking out a lot... How had I not realized that earlier? And how was I already so big? That night with Gerard was about two weeks ago... There was no way I could already be this big... that's just not possible in such a short amount of time...

Fuck.

Okay. Okay, shit. Um, if it's not Gerard's, then it's Franks... But, oh shit. Now Gerard thinks that it's his, and Frank doesn't even know that I'm pregnant, and what if I'm wrong? What if it is really Gerard's, and I'm just over reacting. I glanced back at the bump on my stomach.