Demolition Lovers (Frank Iero)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

~FRANK'S POV~

What the hell was I thinking? Well... I guess I wasn't thinking at all. I had went to a bar and gotten completely wasted. I don't drink very often, but when I do, I go all out. Shot, after shot, after shot... after shot. Once I left the bar, I found myself behind the wheel of my car. Stupid, I know. Extremely stupid, but apparently, I'm extremely lucky, and I made it to the psychiatric hospital that Holly was staying at. I wasn't really sure why I went there, but it was where my subconscious had taken me. And you don't question your subconscious when your brain is swimming in alcohol. You just don't. 

I stumbled to the front desk of the hospital and told the nurse who I was looking for. She gave me a weird look, but then led me to an elevator, pushed the button for floor number 6, and then left me there. The elevator ride made my stomach turn, I'm pretty sure I heard the liquid slosh around inside me until I leaned over and threw up. "Shit.." I muttered, wiping my mouth. I hadn't exactly planned on throwing up in an elevator today, but shit happens when I do stupid things like getting hammered so that maybe, just maybe, I could get Holly off my mind. It didn't work of course. She never leaves my thoughts entirely, and the drinking only gnawed at my heart making me realize just how much I missed her. 

Throwing up had made me feel a little better, but not much. The elevator doors finally slid open and I walked away from the pile of who knows what that was laying in in the center of the elevator. Someone would have to clean that up later, but for now, I needed to talk to Holly. 

A man wearing a uniform stopped me as I wandered around through a hallway. He looked aggravated, and tapped his foot as I asked where Holly's room was. The man rolled his eyes and led me around a corner as he knocked on a door. Holly opened it a few moments later, and I could've sworn that I saw a sign of excitement painted across her face when she saw me. The paint faded away as she realized how drunk I was.

She looked... not happy, but maybe just a little happy to be seeing me which gave me that tingly feeling inside, like when you find out that your crush in middle school likes you back. It was a strange feeling considering it was Holly, and she was no middle school crush. She had been mine, and I had loved her. Loved her with all of my heart, but she went behind my back... No matter what she did with Gerard, I still loved her. I hated to admit that, but it was true. 

All of a sudden I was nervous. Nervous because I still had feelings for her, which was wrong. How could I still like her after she cheated on me? How? 

No matter how or why... I still loved her. She didn't love me the same way though. Why else would she have gone and slept with Gerard? Obviously I wasn't enough for her, but I wanted to be. I should be the one that she goes to when she needs to talk to someone. Not Gerard. I wanted to be good enough, just this once.

I don't know why I said the next sentence, but I did. 

"H-Holly," I slurred, "I need to, uh, to tell you.. s-something..." 

She gave me a weird look and crinkled her nose at the stench of alcohol that had now overtaken the tiny room. 

"What is it?" she asked.

"I love you." I blurted out. She stared at me for a second then shook her head and looked down to the ground. 

"No you don't. You're drunk, Frank." her voice was unsure of what she was saying. She was half right. I was drunk, but I had meant what I had said. I really did love her.

"I love you." I repeated sounding really desperate that time. 

"Frank... You-"

"No Holly!" I yelled. "I love you, okay!" I sounded somewhat sober when I said it which made her look up at my face to see if I was serious. Holly sat down on her bed without replying and held her head down into her hands. 

"Please stop yelling..." she mumbled into her hands. 

"Sorry," I said as I calmed myself down. I sat next to her and wrapped my arm around her torso, pulling her close to me. At first she was stiff and uncomfortable, but she finally gave in and relaxed, leaning into my chest. 

"Frank, you should go home. You don't know what you're saying." 

"But I do know what I'm s-sayin'. Holls, listen to me... I l-love you." 

I could feel that she was about to push away, so I held onto her tighter. 

"If you're not home, who's watching Zachary?" she questioned.

"I dropped him off at Elijah's house."

"Oh.." she responded. 

"Holly, I told you I love you... Don't you have s-something to say back now? The room was silent for a moment, and she pulled up her hand to trace around my fingers that were pressed into the bed sheets. I almost thought she would say what I was hoping for her to say, but she didn't.

"You need to go home. It's late and you're drunk. I'll call you a cab."

I didn't want to go back home. No. That place wasn't home when Holly wasn't there with me. It was just an empty house. There was no way I would go back. At least not tonight. 

"Wait no." I objected, swatting the phone out of her hand. "I j-just... Can I stay here with you tonight?" I begged. 

She shook her head and glanced out into the dark hallway outside her room. 

"I don't think that's allowed. If Ronnie found out-"

I interrupted her mid-sentence with my lips crashing on to hers. Okay, so I was still really drunk, and her lips looked soft. I mean, can you blame me? 

She put her hand up to my chest and gently nudged me away. 

"Frank.." her voice was hoarse. "No, you're drunk..."

"F-fine," I gave in. "But I don't want to go back home. I'm lonely there..."

"I'm lonley here," she sighed. "But I learned to deal with it."

Is that what she expected me to do? To deal with the fact that I was a total failure at being good enough for her?

"Am I not g-good enough for you?" I asked weakly. She had a shocked expression, but then her face turned sympathetic.

"Of course you are. Why would you even think something like that?" she asked while she went back to tracing my fingers. 

"Because, you went back to Gerard. I'm not enough for you."

She shook her head and sighed. "I'm stupid. You know that? I'm just fucking stupid. I couldn't see that what I had in front of me was the greatest thing I'd ever had in my life, so, just like I always do, I had to fuck it up."

I was taken back by her words and quickly pulled her closer to me again. Did she really mean that? That our relationship had been the greatest thing she'd ever had in her life? 

"You said that you're l-lonely here, right?" I asked. She gave me a funny look for changing the subject but then nodded her head. 

"Well I'm lonely at home." I stated. "So can I please just stay here with you tonight, and we can be lonely together?" 

She gave me a weak half smile and finally nodded her head. "Okay, but just for tonight..."

We leaned back onto the stiff mattress not even bothering to get under the covers. We just laid there face to face until Holly's eyes closed shut, and soon after, mine did just the same. 

~~~~~~~

Ok guys, so I'm running out of ideas for this story >.< please please tell me what you want to happen next or message me if you have any ideas. I'll love you forever if you do ^_^

anyways.. thanks for reading! <3