My Tattooed Heart (Lesbian Love STORY)

Pains...

ALEX POV…

           

            If there could be more painful with what I am feeling right now…I don’t know how to call it. Seeing Mara in the arms of my brother hurts me so much.  The pain is unexplainable…I haven’t felt this way before.  My previous relationships were all just for fun.  Is this what they are calling Karma?

            I want to cry but I can’t…there’s no tears in my eyes.  I want to shout but I don’t have a voice.  I want to throw up things…run away from all of this… but I felt I’m so weary and exhausted.  

            I sat carelessly on the well- trimmed grass of the ground.  I wonder how this garden which I admired a couple of hours ago lost its appeal to me.  The beautiful landscape turned to a maze in my eyes…the beautiful and fragrant flowers looks plain and dull to me.

            I don’t feel anything except the excruciating pain I’m feeling inside. I feel I’m being suffocated…the fresh air in the garden makes me feel dizzy.  I need to go somewhere else…I need to unwind…I need to escape.

I slowly stand from the ground and sneaked behind the bushes and walked towards the short route to the garage.  I’m not ready to face Mom and Dad and the rest of the family.  I can’t explain to them what happened.  Not now… I reached my car unnoticed.  I slowly turn on the engine and drive slowly towards the gate and into the main road.

  ‘Mara…why did you do this to me?  Why you lied?’ Just then the tears I’m yearning to shed a while ago flows like river in my eyes.  I never cried for such a long time already because I thought tears are only for the cowards…for the weak.  But now I realized that I’m wrong… we need to cry sometimes…to pour out all the pains we have inside.  I drive and drive not knowing where to go. As long as there is a road I keep on driving.  I let my tears flow freely on my face.  ‘So what if I’m crying?  No one knows what I’m doing…no one knows my pain…no one will understand…’

I don’t know if how long I’ve been driving and I don’t even know where I am.  Just then I heard my cellphone ring.  I took my phone and saw that it’s Dad who is calling.  I readily rejected the call.  ‘I’m sorry Dad I’m not yet ready to talk to you.’  I have already 48 missed calls.  I wonder why I haven’t heard a single ring awhile ago.  I put off my phone and parked my car beside the road.  I’m so tired but I don’t want to go home.  I want to be alone.

Is this what they call heart ache?  It’s really aching…and not only a simple pain…coz it’s grubbing till the bottom of my heart.  I put my head on the steering wheel of my car…I closed my eyes but the face of Mara and the scene I saw hours ago  lingering in my mind.

Cesar denied my accusations, so is Mara but the anger of betrayal overwhelmed me.  I know Cesar…he is a player.  And I saw something in his eyes when I introduced Mara to him while we were on the stadium.  But Mara…I thought she loves me.  She told me she loves me…but she only used me…she is a liar! She  betrayed me. 

I have to talk to someone or I will go crazy.  I drive my car thinking of someone who can fully understand me.

ONE HOUR LATER…

            I parked my car in front of a log cabin. The small house was located far from the busy streets of LA. No noise…no pollution.  The garage immediately lighted up just in time as I turned off the engine of my car.  I opened my door and walked towards the door of the house.  JZ was already standing on the doorway together with Elise, his wife.  They seemed to be expecting my arrival.