Loving You is Hard, Especially When I Hate You.

Shut Up For Two Seconds! I Love You, You Idiot!

CHAPTER 24

when I got to Zayn's flat I went straight to my room tossing my 5 large shopping bags on my bed. Note to self. Never go to lunch with El again. Some how we always end up spending more money than we have. I slowly peeled off my clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower. When I got out I wrapped a towel around me and went to my closet picking out some shorts and a t-shirt I stole from Liam's. I went to my computer logging on and seeing that Liam was on Skype.

Should I talk to him? We hadn't talked since we said goodbye at the airport. I had gone so long without talking to him. Without hearing his voice, it was killing me. I wanted so badly to just talk to him. But I knew it would be awkward. It had been awkward the whole trip after that. We tried to pretend that it never happened, but not talking about it made it even worse. I could barely even look at him without remembering it. But before I could make a decision a small ding came from my computer.

'Liam Payne is calling you'

it said. I swallowed before clicking yes and waiting for his face to appear. The screen went blank for a minute before 5 boys came onto the screen and shouted at me.

“HEY SERENA!” they all said in unison. I smiled waving at all of them laughing.

“Hey boys! What's going on? Hows Texas?” I said looking at them all. They smiled nodding before Zayn said.

“Texas is great! Loving the sun, can't you see how tan i'm getting?” he gestured to his face and I laughed. “anyway we just wanted to say hey.. and Liam! Don't you have to talk to Rena?” Zayn said patting Liam on the shoulder. I took a deep breath. They knew, or at least Zayn did. I knew that Zayn would understand, but it still scared me to know that he knew I never said I loved you to Liam. The boys all slowly left the screen leaving me and Liam just staring at each other. I shifted my eyes to the keyboard, not sure of how this was going to go.

“Rennie,” Liam started I looked up carefully seeing him shift a bit and lick his lips. “um... god I had this all planned out and now it's just gone.” he chuckled. I let a small smile reach my lips before speaking.

“how about, I miss you?” I suggested. He let out a big breath before smiling at me.

“i miss you so much Rennie. I lo-” he stopped himself half way through scratching the back of his neck. Well, it was now or never.

“Liam i-”

“i'm sorry.” he blurted out. “ I shouldn't have said it first, you weren't ready and it's fine you don't love me. I'm sorry for making everything so uncomfortable for us, i'm always screwing things up for us-”

“Liam! Shut up for two seconds! I love you, you idiot!” I said laughing. I bit my lip, there it was, plan out in the open. It felt weird, saying it. I knew I loved him. I just didn't know how to say it. And that is not how I meant to say it.

“you love me?” he said blinking. I tried to hold in my smile.

“yeah, Liam, yeah I do.” his face brightened almost immediately. The thing about Liam's smile is, it's like the sun on a perfect day. The water in a swimming pool with it's just the right temperature. The perfect slice of chocolate cake. It just makes you happy. You can't help but love it. You love every time you can make him smile, because not only did you make him happy, but you made yourself happy. He sat up straighter not letting that cute smile of his falter once.

“you really do?”

“really, really.” I licked my lips beginning again. “and i'm sorry that I never said it when I should have. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it, it's just-”