Loving You is Hard, Especially When I Hate You.

Confessions

CHAPTER 9

the week passed by quickly. It consisted of Liam driving me to and from Dance where we would either stop at a fast food restaurant or just go back to Zayn's. Then we would either go to one of the boys flats or go out. To say the least my life had gotten normal. In fact it was boring. The same routine day after day. Which only made me remember why I loved Darren so much.

Everything with him was spontaneous. Everything we did was never exactly the same. One day we would be at the park having a picnic, and the next we could be watching a movie in his living room. We were always doing something. Where as my life seemed to be in a never ending reoccurring nightmare. I always said I never wanted to have a routine. I wanted to be doing something different everyday. But it did work that way.

Sure the boys were great. It was always a laugh with them. But they had been in rehearsals all week. Which meant they would be so tired all they wanted to do was joke around sitting on the couch. They were still crazy, but not bouncing off the walls crazy.

Today was no different here I was sitting in Liam's car looking out the window as Mcfly 'shine a light' played on the radio. I silently tapped my hands to the beat while Liam sang softly. I had to admit he was a good singer. Always on key and it just... flowed. I decided to join in just for the heck of it.

'tell me can you hear my voice

loud and clear about the noise

and even if I had the choice

I would not give up'

Liam turned to me and smiled. I rolled my eyes. “i know I have a horrible voice, you don't need to rub it in.” I mumbled turning back to the window picking at the plastic on the side of the glass. I felt Liam's hand moved to my chin gripping it lightly and turning me to face him. He had his eyebrows furrowed and kept looking back and forth from the road to me.

“who told you, you have a horrible voice?” he asked. He must have turned the music down because now it was pretty much impossible to hear.

“someone.” I say shrugging out of his reach and looking back out the window. I sighed. The rain was depressing my mood even more. I watched at the rain drops raced down the side of the glass till they reached the bottom.

“well whoever said that is tone deaf you have a wonderful voice.” he said. He sounded almost sincere, but for me at least there was a hint of amusement. He was probably lying. Why he would lie I don't know. Maybe to make me feel confident and sing more often so I would embarrass myself. I rolled my eyes keeping my focus on the outside.

I'll admit that I love it when it rains. The way it looks. How calm everything is. Even the smell is enticing. It was one of my favourite moments. Including in the morning when no one was around. I loved to go out and run during that time. It was so peaceful. But I can't do that now. Not in London. Not when I have a job and crazy boys keeping me up till 11 every night.

He pulled up to the studios sooner than usual. I pulled my bag out of the back and gave him a small smile before climbing out and pulling my hood up. I didn't have to turn around to know he left. I walked up the steps putting in my earphones and turning on my music. 'Drown' by Carolina Liar started playing.

I walked up the steps like I did every morning till I reach the door. Just as I grabbed the handle someone grabbed it pulling it open for me. I said a small thanks before walking in not looking at them. Before I knew it I was pushed against the wall by the person. I looked up to see Darren looking at me. I pushed him off me glaring at him.

“my God Darren! Seriously! You gave me a heart attack!” he chuckled putting his hands up in defense. I pulled my earphones out to talk to him.