Twisted {Jacob Black}

Instincts

When the burning finally began to subside - not before I had wished for my own death more times than I could count, I might add - I had no means of calculating how long it had lasted. Centuries, it felt like, but part of me didn't believe that no matter how bad the pain was.

But of course it didn't just fade off. No, of course not. As if I hadn't been tortured enough {literally}, it worsened before it wore off. I didn't even think it COULD get worse, and yet I was proved wrong. And yet when the burning did get worse, it wasn't radiating around my whole body, it was focused. In my throat, and in my heart, which I could hear speed up to a definitely unhealthy rate. I thought I was dead for sure. This wasn't supposed to happen, right? It sounded - to me - like I had a freaking helicopter in my chest.

Thump. Thump. Thump thump thump thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump... And then nothing. Silence.

If I felt like I could move, I would have freaked the fuck out. My heart had stopped.

And it was while I was mentally screaming about this, that I realised I could hear again, and as I was laid on the ground, my vision was starting to unblur.

But.. It didn't just unblur. At first I thought I was imagining things, and if I blinked then my sight would go back to normal. But it didn't. It stayed exactly how it was; in this state of seeing things in ridiculously high definition. My hearing was the same, and I was dramatically aware of everything around me. I was awake, more so than I ever had been in my life.

It could have been minutes, or hours, but I just laid there in the middle of the woods, taking it all in. My mind wouldn't focus on anything else except the sky, and the shelter of treetops blocking the clouds above me. I focused on everything, studied everything I could. I heard birds from what could have been miles away. I looked at each leaf I could even if it was twenty metres above me; I could see it more than perfectly.

With the new shock of my hearing, and sight, came a wave of curiosity. And shock. The pain of my broken bones was gone. No crunching in my chest, no difficulty breathing - I wasn't breathing. There was no pain at al- OH.

How I hadn't noticed the crippling burning in my throat before this moment, I wasn't sure. Maybe it was the distractions around me, but I definitely felt it now. It was the same pain I'd felt all over my body, centred in my throat. Excruciating, and yet forgettable at times. How confusing.

It seemed my realisations were hitting me one by one, and yet only seconds after each other so that I didn't have time to process it. But my next realisation hurt the most.

I was on my feet, and only slightly aware of the fact that I had gotten up. But I wasn't thinking about that, my perfectly tuned eyes were scanning around me, my head turning so face that it was surreal.

I was alone.

That didn't make sense. Where was Jacob? Why would he leave me?

I was hit in the face with a sudden dread; was Jacob hurt? What if.. What if they hadn't been able to stop them? What if, whilst I was burning, they were still fighting? I felt sick, physically sick, like I would fall to the floor and throw up. And yet, the logical part of me knew that wasn't possible. I would never eat, or sleep again. How odd.

I'd expected to feel revolted by myself, or even to lose myself entirely and care only about killing others and inflicting pain. But I didn't. I still felt like me, in a weird way. I didn't want to kill people at all, not anymore than I had before. Other than the ridiculously painful burn in my throat and my heightened senses, I felt okay. Maybe I could do this. But... Didn't I need blood? That was one part I wasn't sure how to figure out, but it wasn't my concern right now.