Chasing the Addiction

Losing It

"Suddenly it was only him that mattered." 

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My weekdays were spent attempting to act as normal as possible, while my weeknights were spent living it up with Andrew and my new set of friends

Stacey, Cassie and Sarah stayed by my side in the hallways at school,

But they were beginning to fade further and further away from my realm 

I no longer was with them every second of the day, instead Shelby replaced them all and filled in their spots 

Who knew

How could I ever have thought about her in such a negative way?

She was as good as gold in my eyes 

I never had to put on a front with her or worry my clothes weren't up to par 

In fact, her dark sense of style started rubbing off on me a bit

I'd never let my parents onto that though

At school, I acted the same as always, but on the inside was a brand new Eve

She no longer cared as much about what her fellow peers thought of her 

She began focusing on what made her  happy 

I had changed, and it was great. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Same routine, different day 

Friday evenings, pack a bag of clothes then tell my parent's I'm going over to "Stacey's" house to spend the night 

Proceed to party

Kiss Andrew, fill my lungs up with smoke, maybe snort a couple lines or pop a molly (Same as good 'ol E, by the way)

Or maybe, if the party was chill, do a tab or two of acid 

Those nights all blurred together in one big merry-go-round, spinning faster until reaching breakneck speed

Then came the night I lost my virginity.

Okay, so it was bound to happen with Andrew eventually

The times we didn't spend partying we spent alone in his house 

Things always got pretty hot and heavy between us, but this particular night we didn't bother stopping like we usually did

It was kind of scary at first, since I had no clue what I was doing and he obviously did, but finally we made it work and, regardless of the expected discomfort, it was amazing

Honestly, I'm lucky 

My first time wasn't forced like some unfortunate girls have been and it was with someone I.....

...Loved?....

Did I truly love Andrew? 

When he's on top of me kissing my lips passionately until heat spreads throughout my entire body, it was hard to say no to that 

I really do think I'm falling for him 

He's completely wrong for me

But the way he holds me in his arms and looks me in the eyes, 

I think he just might love me too. 

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Comment/Vote my loves! (:

~angel~