Chasing the Addiction

Droopy Eyes, Happy Smiles

"There is a chemical in weed called "Fuck it," and if you get that in your system it can change your life." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that experience, I couldn't contain my excitement

And not just the excitement that I did something bad, but also, I couldn't wait to do it again

So every day after school, we ventured over to Andrew's house to smoke

I learned a bunch of different things during this time, like how to smoke out of pipes and bongs, what other kinds of weed felt like and how  I came to enjoy the burning sensation as the smoke filled my lungs

Everything about weed made me happy, it made me relax and not worry about every day stress

And the thing was, I knew none of it was addicting, but something still made me come back for more

Those afternoons became the highlight of my days; it made my life feel complete

One Saturday evening, my friends called me up to see if I wanted to go to a party

Weighing the options in my head, I decided against going and told them another time

Then I got a text from Andrew saying, "Heard you weren't going to the party. Wanna come over?(:"

The smiley face he added at the end of the text sent shivers down my spine, even though it meant nothing

Lately I'd been spending too much time fantasizing about him and I, though I knew it would never happen

(I hoped it wouldn't, he was with Cassie after all)...........(So?)

"Sure, who else will be there?"

"Just you and me tonight."

This was going to be eventful, I could feel something was going to change

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~

 Parking in his driveway, I checked my reflection in the mirrior to make sure my make up remained perfect 

Ringing his doorbell, I convinced myself to calm down, that nothing was going to happen between us

Standing directly in front of him, staring into those eyes of his, I knew that logic was flying right out the window 

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing we did was smoke

We loaded a bowl in his bright red bong

The thing was tiny itself, and lightweight, but damn did it hit good

One bowl got us as high as we wanted to be

He put on some heavy metal music and I leaned in closer to him on the beanbag I was sitting on

"So, tell me something about yourself. Something I don't already know," I asked him, trying to make my voice seductive

"I've never fallen in love before." 

"Whoa, I wasn't expecting that," I said, arching my eyebrow

"What can I say? Drugs are my true love. They would never betray me."

He lit up a cigarette and offered me one

Shaking my head, he commented, "So I noticed you're inching your way out of your comfort zone."

"You can tell that easily?"

"I'm an expert at reading people. And right now I can tell you want to try this cigarette."

While saying this, he twirled it around his fingers

"How about taking another inch away?" he said, holding it out to me again

This time I took it

Lit it, inhaled, then coughed

He started laughing, telling me the same thing happened his first time smoking and that I'd get used to it

I guess I was going to get used to it

"Want to know another thing I noticed about you?" 

"Sure," I said, taking a drag and blowing it out through my nose like I'd seen Cassie do before

"I noticed your eyes keep staring at my lips. And if I'm reading my cards correctly, you want to kiss me right now."

Almost immediately, we flew into each other's arms 

His hand cupped the back of my neck as I ran mine through his thick hair

Our lips molded together in harmony

Needless to say, it was a kiss I never would forget 

I'd kissed boys before, but I'd never kissed a man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After our intense make out session and somehow ending up shirtless on his bed

I decided tonight had been too fun and that it was time to leave

As I kissed him goodbye, my high fading

I wondered if my comfort zone was even still in sight

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~

~angel~