Chasing the Addiction

Just Try It

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite my impulsive actions, I drove home with a smile on my face

See, even though I had secretly betrayed Cassie, the sudden adrenaline rush betrayal caused was something I didn't want to disappear

I craved that rush to come back, it became a need 

And if it took losing a friend to have it, then so be it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rush went away as I got home

Come back please...

So instead of doing my homework, or something productive, I paced around my room and devised ways to make the rush come back 

Trying new drugs wasn't something I was ready for, nor did I want to go too far with Andrew sexually

But something needed to happen

The question was what exactly? 

My phone buzzed on my nightstand, so I went over and checked my messages

The text Andrew sent me put the biggest smile on my face, it read:

"Gotta say, there's something about you. You're different. We need to hangout alone more often (:"

Before I could type back a reply, he sent me another text

"By the way, there's another party friday night, you should come." 

Then it hit me, 

A party was the perfect idea

I knew exactly what kind of "party" it would turn out to be, I got a perfectly good taste of it from the last one

But this time, I wouldn't be the party pooper

This time, I would participate in the activities of my peers 

Perhaps the rush might come back to me

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~

My outfit was picked out carefully, and instead of the cute dress worn the previous time, I picked something a little more revealing

Honestly, it was all for Andrew

I ignored the fact that he had convinced my friend to try meth, or how potent his charm could be,

And trusted the fact that he made me feel alive

For tonight, my outfit included short jean shorts, a flowy black crop top and black sandals

It was ten times more daring than what I used to wear, and it felt great on me

Getting in my car, I texted Sarah, Stacey and Cassie and told them to be ready outside their houses

I was the designated driver, but by now I was used to driving while high, so it didn't really matter

And that's all I was doing tonight was smoking, nothing else

If I only knew this is where it really began

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~

The party had reached its wild point when we arrived

People had already begun drinking and smoking, which meant it was our turn 

Entering a house, we made our way through the packed crowds toward the back room

This time, I weaved through them like an expert, not like a confused idiot as I had before

The back room was dimly lit as we entered 

I expected only Andrew to be here with us, but instead we were greeted by about six other stoners

One of them was Shelby, the dumb whore

"Look whose here joining the stoners. Remember what I said, Eve? First hit's on me, babe." 

My first instinct was to dash out of the room and go home, but the want to smoke over-ruled everything

So, while she stared at us with the widest, fakest smile

I smiled back at her and took a huge hit off Andrew's red bong 

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~

Something miraculous happened within the first hour of hanging out in the room

These people, who I had always judged and looked down upon, turned out to be the most wonderful people I'd ever met

Originally, I assumed they were losers who had no life, but they lived exciting, fun lives

They told us funny stories that made me laugh till I almost peed myself, and told me secrets I never would've told a soul 

I loved how open and honest they were, making fun of each other and joking around

None of the men and women at my parent's country club ever had this much fun

Although we were high and things easily entertained me, I felt a connection with these new people

Shelby, as big of a bitch as I thought she was, turned out to be the funniest person there

Who would've known? 

We were all having so much fun we almost didn't notice Andrew slip out of the room until he returned with a baggie

"Guess what I have, guys."

He grabbed a random book from a shelf and poured some white powder from the baggie

Pulling out two of his credit cards from his wallet, he carefully arranged the powder into neat lines

Using a dollar bill, he rolled it up and leaned down

Oh no, was this what I thought it was? 

The whole room was silent as we watched him snort a line

Suddenly, everyone was pitching in money to buy a line, and one by one they all took turns passing around the book and cocaine 

Shelby turned and handed them both to me

"Well? Want to try it?" 

Everyone in the room was staring at me, no pressure there

For a split second, I weighed the options down on an imaginary scale

To try, or not to try

So, I leaned down and smorted the stuff right into my brain 

There came that rush again

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~

Review/comment please! 

~angel~