Conflicting Attractions // h.s

34\\Anger and Clubs

(Warning: Drug use, violence and a ton of swearing, I'm sorry xxx)

Harry

I don't remember much from when I lashed out and punched the living room wall. My mum held me tightly while I let my emotions get the better of me. Gemma didn't know what to do but after a while, she wrapped her arms around me too, the family cuddle we called it. But afterward, I don't remember anything. I woke up after what felt like a long nap and I'm staring at my white ceiling while laying on my bed.

I rolled onto my side, seeing that it was dark outside and I had no clue what time it was.

I yawned deeply, reaching over to my bedside table to grab my phone but it wasn't there. I looked weirdly, searching for my phone but couldn't find it. I sat up after that, looking around and trying to find the tiny object but I just couldn't find it. That was until someone came up the stairs, opening my door to reveal Gemma. "Good evening Harry," she greeted me while holding my phone in her hands. "Looking for this?"

"Uh, yeah," I said while trying to reach for it but she held it back away from me. "What gives, Gemma? Give it here!"

"Why? So you can ring Mitch and get high with him? No, I'm not letting you drink away your problems or make them fade away with drugs! Haven't you learned your lesson from when Jesse died? You almost killed yourself with drugs and alcohol, Harry!"

"Gemma, for fücks' sake, I wasn't even going to call him! I wanted to know the fücking time!"

The room went silent as I rubbed my temples, trying to get rid of the anger. It wasn't Gemma's fault but she was there and I could take out my problems on her. It wasn't fair, I know but I still had to take it out on someone. She stood there for a while, watching me almost lash out even more before she sat down on the bed. "Harry, I'm worried about you. Ever since the envelope Phoebe left on the benchtop, you've been angrier than usual. What's wrong? You can tell me."

"It's nothing, Gem. It doesn't concern you anyway. Whatever happens in my life isn't all that great but I don't need to talk to you. I'm fine, I will get over it," I told her as she tried to hug me in an almost side hug, her arms wrapping around my shoulder. I didn't want her too, she just wouldn't let me deal with my anger by myself. "I just want to be left alone," I whispered as I pushed her arm off my shoulder.

"Where you can trash your room and throw precious things? I don't fücking think so, Harry. You are not to be left alone and whether you like it or not, I'm not leaving this room until I know you're going to be okay," she whispered the last part as she sighed. "I could see that you felt strong feelings for Phoebe, Hazza and that letter was the tip of the iceberg, wasn't it? I just want you to open up to me like you used too. I never get to help you anymore and now that this has happened, you won't even let me into your thoughts–"

"I don't want to talk about my feelings, Gemma! They obviously don't matter to anyone, anymore! I just want to be left alone so I don't accidentally do shit I regret but you just won't leave me the fück alone!" I yelled at her, anger flicking through my eyes, regret also flashed through my mind as I seen her eyes begin to water. "Gemma, I'm sorry, please..."

She had gotten up by now and thrown my phone on the bed before she walked towards me and pointed at me. "No! You want to be left alone? Fine. But don't come crying to me if your room is trashed to hell and you need help fixing it!"

I sighed heavily as she walked out of my room, her sobs echoed in the hallway before I heard the slam of a door which I knew was her bedroom. I laid back down on my bed, my hand reaching for my phone to check the time. It was around eight as I threw it back on my bed, the screen illuminating parts of my blanket. I wasn't one hundred percent behind talking about my problems, even with how close I am with Gemma.