Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One-Shots

It's A Date!

Kinda a less random and stupid sequal to Call Me GAYbe (wow that's a lie).
Like I had a cute idea so now this is a thing??
I wrote this in like an hour so enjoy hopefully???

~♡~♥~♡~

"Pat, just call the guy already." Entoan said in an uninterested yet amused voice. Pat rolled his eyes at his friend as he continued pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair.

"But it's been a week, Entoan. What if he's forgotten about me? What if I freaked him out and he gave me a fake number as a joke? What if he's been abducted by aliens who erased all ability to interact effectively with humans and wants my booty just to take me to the motherboard to meet the leader of the alien race and mate with her and make alien/human hybrid babies? I don't want to make alien babies, Entoan!" Pat was stressing out. It had been a full week since he lost that bet against Entoan and serenaded a stranger in the park with Call Me Maybe. Entoan had not stopped teasing Pat about it and the latter had not stopped stressing about calling or texting the guy or something.

"I don't even want to know how you came up with that last possibility but there's no WAY he forgot about you! How do you forget a guy who dresses the way you did and sings Call Me Maybe to you in a public park! And so what if he did give you a fake number? If he did, you can just throw it out and forget about the guy. But you'll never know unless you actually CALL him!!"

Pat stopped pacing and looked at Entoan for a moment. "Ya know, for a piece of shit friend, your advice isn't that shitty." Then he continued pacing again.

"Thanks?" Entoan questioned. He watched his friend for a few more minutes before letting out a large sigh. "Patrck, give me your phone."

"Why?" Pat asked immediately, freezing. "I don't trust you."

Entoan rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna take a picture if my dick if that's what you're worried about." He held out his hand. "Phone, now."

Pat slowly reached for his phone skeptically. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, you know me! I would never do anything bad to you!" Entoan declared, feigning innocence that was clearly billshit at it's finest.

"See, now I trust you eve less." Pat stated, now holding his phone in his hand, away from his friend who was clearly up to something.

Entoan smirked at Patrck. "One day you'll love me." He decided, before jumping from where he was sitting, grabbing Pat's phone out of his hand, and quickly putting the password in.

"Okay, now this is pathetic." Entoan teased. Pat already had the contact of the guy up on his phone.

"I need to change my password." Patrck mumbled, pouting at his friend. "Have you ever tried being less shitty?" He asked, completely serious.

Entoan just laughed. "Nope!" And then he pressed the call button, shoved the phone in Pat's hand, and ran out of the room yelling, "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS, ASSHOLE!"

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, ENTOAN!" Patrck yelled back.

"Who is this?" Pat heard a confused voice travel up from his phone. He gulped, bringing the phone to his ear, hands shaking miserably. For a second, he contemplated just hanging up, deleting the number, and going to kill Entoan and burying in the body of a whale or in the middle of the desert. Whichever's closer.

"H-hey." Pat cursed his shaking voice. "I don't know if you remember me. Last week, the park. Call Me Maybe and all that."

The guy laughed on the other line. "Oh, that's right. I should have known, my gaydar went haywire as soon as I answered."

Pat rolled his eyes. "I'm not THAT gay, ya know."

"What was that you were wearing last week? Rainbow suspenders with a shirt that literally read 'I'm gay'?" The guy laughed again.

"Shut up." Pat blushed, completely embarrassed.

"You know, I don't think I ever caught your name." The guy said after a few minutes.

"Umm, Pat. My name is Patrck." Pat was fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously as he spoke. He was relieved the guy didn't seem too freaked out but he was still nervous all the same. The way he met this guy is not the way you want to meet someone.

"Well, 'Umm Pat', I'm Gar. Tell me, how much would it take for me to convince you to go on a date with me?" Pat smiled really wide into the phone. He was not expecting that. Not that he was complaining at all.

"I wouldn't say it would take much convincing at all." Pat said honestly. Gar laughed teasingly.

"Does this Friday sound okay?" Pat nodded, before realizing Gar can't see him.

"Uhh, yeah. Friday's perfect."

"Alright, I'll pick you up at 8?"

Patrck could hardly contain the squeal that tried to break through. "Sounds good."

The two said bye to each other before hanging up. Pat let out probably the most high-pitche-- opps, manly--scream he had ever heard, getting all the excitement out of his system before Entoan came back.

Suddenly Pat's phone vibrated, alerting him of a text.

I take it you have a date?
-Entoan

"Yes Entoan, I have a date, you asshole!" Pat said loudly, aware his friend was right outside his door.

"I KNEW IT!" The man screamed, running back into the room. "That was such a cute scream, by the way. You almost sounded like JP."

"Shut up." Pat groaned, blushing.

"I hope you realize I recorded it and I will definitely be playing all of this (including your little videos from last week) at your wedding." Entoan smirked, typing on his phone.

"You better hope I don't kill you in your sleep first."

"Aaaaaaand send." Entoan said, smirk growing.

"What the fuck did you do?" Pat asked in horror at what his asshole of a friend could have possibly done.

Suddenly another text came in to Pat's phone.

Awe, I guess I really made an impression on you there. Save those screams for the bedroom, babe. ;) ♥♥♥
-Garuku

Patrck blushed like a madman at those words. He was ready to just die.

"Entoan, how the fuck did you get his number??"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"I love you enough to hate you."

"You love Gar."

"Now I suddenly hate you even more."

"Sure you do."

And suddenly, Entoan was gone. Pat rolled his eyes, flopping on his bed, a huge smile on his face as he thought about the events to come. Hopefully meeting Gar this time will be less embarrassing than the first.

But being friends with Entoan, Pat knew he was shitting himself.