Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One-Shots

Call Me GAYbe

"Before you say anything, I lost a bet." OR The one where Pat loses a bet and has to run up to a stranger in a public place dressed like a giant rainbow singing Call Me Maybe to them. And maybe it pays off.

~♡~♥~♡~

"Tell me why I have to do this again."

"Because you lost the bet, Patrck."

"Yeah, but why does it have to be THIS?"

"Because it was YOUR idea!"

"Well, yeah, bu--"

"Just do it, Pat! How bad could it be?"

"I look ridiculous, Entoan. And why does it have to be THAT song?"

"BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR ID--"

"My idea, I know, I know."

"Okay now go! Pick your victim!"

"Don't say it like that!"

"Whatever."

Patrck was then shoved out into the crowded park, immediately gaining attention from bystanders. He was wearing a rainbow tutu with a rainbow afro and rainbow suspenders. The shirt he had on said "I'm gay, DEAL WITH IT!" And he wore knee-high rainbow socks with ballet slippers. He was carrying a boombox which was ready to play Call My Maybe at the push of a button. He silently cursed Entoan as he begrudgingly scanned the crowd.

Pat was not happy about the turn of events that led him here. The whole reason he had this idea was because it was supposed to be ENTOAN in this position, not him. It was irritating.

It didn't take long for Pat's eyes to settle on a cute guy walking a small corgi. The guy looked just as good as any to be the victim and he didn't look like the kind of guy to laugh in his face and call him 'fag' which was a plus.

"Fuck you, Entoan." Pat grumbled to himself, making his way sluggishly over to the guy. The dog yelped happily at the sight of him, the guy not quite noticing him yet.

"Dante, what is it bo-- oh dear lord." The guy stopped in his tracks as he finally noticed Patrck standing there. He covered his mouth with his hand, stifling a laugh that escaped eventually.

"Before you say anything," Pat grumbled desperately, "I lost a bet."

The guy just nodded with an amused smile on his face, waiting for Pat to continue. Bystanders were pointing and laughing rudely. Pat flushed in embarrassment.

Pat set down the boombox, the corgi immediately jumping excitedly at it, and pressing the button, unleashing the wrath that will haunt Pat for years to come.

The song started and Pat started dancing around the guy as enthusiastically as he could to a song as stupid as Call Me Maybe.

"I threw a wish in the well
Don't ask me I'll never tell
I looked to you as it fell
And now you're in my way."

Pat felt stupid the longer it went. He knew people were recording him. Hell, he knew ENTOAN was recording him and will probably post it on YouTube on ten different accounts with different edits and with multiple effects to embarrass Pat even more.

Oh well, at least the guy didn't look too embarrassed. He was laughing and smiling but not in a judgemental way.

And then the chorus came and every person in the park joined in, including the guy Pat was dancing around.

"HEY I JUST MET YOU
AND THIS IS CRAZY
BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER
SO CALL ME MAYBE"

Pat was ready to die. Yup, now was the perfect time to just drop dead. He was ready. Bring on the death. He would never live this down, especially with Entoan there.

"IT'S HARD TO LOOK RIGHT
AT YOU BABY
BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER
SO CALL ME MAYBE"

HOW LONG IS THIS FUCKING SONG?! Pat was convinced Entoan "accidentally" downloaded the ten hour version. That's got to be it.

But eventually, the song DID end and the park erupted in laughter and applause. Even the guy was clapping, he had a look on his face Pat wasn't sure he liked.

"That was quite a show there." He guy commented amused.

"Yeah? Well, I think that I need new friends after this cuz mine apparently are asses." Pat joked but the guy just pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"I think I can help you there." The guy scribbled something down as he spoke.

"Wha--"

"By the way, I think you sang it wrong." And with that, the guy sent Pat a wink, handed him the paper, and walked away.

Call Me GAYbe?
(xxx) xxx-xxxx
-Garuku Bluemoon

Pat smiled down at the paper before heading back to Entoan.

"I told you you wouldn't hate me after this!" Entoan said amused at the look on Pat's face as his eyes stayed glued to the paper. The latter's head shot up as he realized who he was with. He cleared his throat and shoved the paper out of sight of his friend and just sneered at him.

"Shut up. Let's go." Pat huffed, storming off into the opposite direction.

"Whatever, Loverboy!" Entoan chimed in amusement. He just got a certain finger in response.