Rainbow Reflection

Chapter 37 Yesteryear

Rosy:

The ride back to the Homestead is fraught with tension, several times Steven had cleared his throat nervously as if he was going to speak but had thought the wiser of it and remained silent. There is a hard lump in my chest making it hurt to breathe or swallow, tears burn at the back of my eyes and I can't get the memory of their mingled scents out of my mind. Stunned disbelief has me mostly numb but I know when it begins to wear off then I will feel real pain.

Steven hurries around to open my door when we park in front of the Homestead and I get out on steady legs but inside my entire body feels as if it is trembling, about to shake apart in epic proportions. I pass several slightly blurred individuals as I walk inside and head straight for the room I had left Terry in. I hear the faint murmur of voices behind me as I reach out to stroke his silky hair. Sometime between now and when I left earlier he has returned to human form. I force myself to look where his arm used to be, the limb has gone completely. The amputation was done at the shoulder joint with the incision and surrounding flesh looking clean and neat.

"He's doing really well," Chris says softly right beside me. "Both Doc and your Uncle are pleased with his progress."

I want to nod, I want to acknowledge I heard what he said but my body feels stiff and wooden and does not want to respond to what I ask of it. Suddenly the room feels too enclosed, the soft concerned whispers in the hallway are too intrusive and I need to be away by myself for a bit. I force myself to look at Chris, force myself to see him.

"Can you stay ... with him ..." My voice doesn't want to work and it is an effort to get the words out.

My body feels almost alien as it takes my consciousness out of the house and up the slope to where three orange trees create a small shaded area. I sit on the wooden bench placed there and look down at my hands where they twist and entwine together on my lap. My right leg is bouncing slightly and when I manage to make it still my left leg takes up its movement.

I smell Malcolm as he sits beside me on the bench, I force my body into stillness but he puts a strong arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side. He wraps both arms around me and I feel my composure shatter as he hugs me tightly. My sobs shake my entire body as I bring both of my arms up and cross them over his arm holding it against my chest.

"I need Micah ... to hold me ... and be strong for me," I sob with rising panic as I turn my face towards his chest.

"I knew a she-kitt once," Malcolm says softly and exhales with sad sound. "She was always pushing away anyone who wanted to help her. Always running off to deal with things by herself. One day she ran off, wouldn't let others help her ..."

I feel Malcolm rub his cheek against the top of my head as a sob rumbles up in his chest.

"What ever happens ... promise you won't run away this time," Malcolm says and gives me a shake before pulling back to look down into my face. "Promise! No matter what!"

I try to manage a crooked smile as I meet his worried eyes. It dawns on me with a sensation like that of the trickle of warm honey that the she-kitt he was talking about was me, I had run off repeatedly and the last time ... I lift fingers to trace the scar that disappeared into my hairline.

"I promise," I whisper and manage a small smile.

"Okay. Good," Malcolm says and removes one arm to reach for something.

I glance down at what he places on my knees, it takes me a few moments to recognise the cloth wrapped book before I place a hand on it, my fingers instantly feeling for the etching beneath the cloth.