Rainbow Reflection

Chapter 8

Harley:

I turn my head and look back out the side window, I can’t shake the feeling of uneasiness that still lingers. Trees are flickering past and the ground at the roadside is a blur making my headache. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose but the pain refuses to steady or lessen. I can’t get Drew’s words out of my mind, surely I must have been that distracted by the horrible feeling of being watched that I misunderstood him.

A new feeling begins to form taking shape quickly until it is almost a physical pain in the centre of my chest as if someone has reached inside my body and is trying to pull something out of my chest through my sternum.

"Wait! Stop Drew!" I sob frantically. "Stop! Please stop!" I feel the vehicle slow for several moments before it resumes it’s former speed. I struggle to take a deep breath as I reach for my seatbelt and unbuckle it with a click.

"What the hell are you doing?" Drew demands catching my left hand as I go to reach for the door handle. The car wobbles on the road as he steers with one hand and tries to keep a hold of me with the other hand, he is forced to slow down dramatically and has to release my wrist to change down gears. I grasp the door handle ready to open it and leap from the vehicle if he starts to go faster again. I can taste the saltiness of my tears on my lips and my breath comes raggedly as my sobs continue, I can’t stop crying now I have started.

"Stop, just please stop!" I beg and am relieved when Drew pulls over to the side of the road, puts the vehicle out of gear and pulls the hand-break on. As soon as the vehicle is stationary I yank the door open and scramble from the car as fast as I can. I hear Drew yelling behind me in the car but I block the sound of his voice out as I turn and stand facing back the way we came.

"Are you insane! What do you think you are doing?" Drew demands as he pulls me from the middle of the road and gives me a rough shake. I turn my head to look at him and the car we had been in, I almost feel as if I am lost in some nightmare and he is a part of it. Dimly I note he has climbed over the centre console and came out the passenger door I exited. Again I feel the sensation in the middle of my chest, as if something is being pulled from my body.

"I want to go back,"

"Don’t you love me anymore?" Drew asks in a hurt voice as he releases my upper arm and takes a step back.

"We’re going the wrong way! I’m sure of it!" I protest and turn my head to gaze along the road once again.

It barely registers when Hank and Mutto pull in behind our car in their old ute, Hank climbs out of the passenger side window not bothering to open the door. His eyes are fixed firmly on me and he seems to enjoy my distress as he approaches.

"We got to move on mate, got our marching orders," Hank says with a glance towards Drew.

"You hear that Harley?" Drew asks tightly with an unhappy grimace. "Your brother saw you with me and he’s asking us to move on. He didn’t ask to see you or talk to you …"

Pain wells inside me, it starts low down in my stomach and rises up through my body until it threatens to spill out through my burning throat. I wrap my arms around myself and try to ignore the sensation still pulling at the centre of my chest. I lower my head as I force myself to turn and walk to the car, each step I take burns making my head hurt until the pain is almost unbearable. I stumble blindly as I settle into the seat and Drew leans in to fasten the seat belt. I hear the door shut and I grasp the base of the seat with both hands as I refuse to allow myself to undo the seatbelt and open the door. I grit my teeth and stare at my ugg boot clad feet as Drew starts the car and we begin to move.

Nononononononono!

I don’t give voice to my internal scream of pain and loss as my feeling of total wrongness grows. The only things keeping me in the seat is the knowledge I love Drew so much I gave up everything for him and the fluttery feeling as the small life in my stomach moves as if to comfort me.