Howling To The Moon ~ Remus Lupin x Reader

Chapter 19

As the bathroom door opens you feel Remus stiffen and pull you into a friendly embrace. Attempting to save the situation you pretend to cry into his shoulder just in time for Sirius to realize whats happening. 

"Whats happening here?" Sirius says, clearly shocked. Remus looks down at you and you realize that he was signalling for you to come up with an excuse. 

"I...uh...I just read a really sad chapter in my book. Remus has also read the book so I came up here to talk to him about it." You say sobbing before you relax against Remus, satisfied with your excuse.

"I see, well I'm going to play a round of Quidditch with James. I'll see you around babe?" He says smiling at you. You nod and smile back and watch him leave. As he leaves he cast a dirty look at Remus who almost flinches. 

"What was that about Moons?" You ask, curious.

"Nothing, he's just going through some things with his mother right now I guess." He replies shrugging. An awkward silence falls over the room and the only sound is the wind. You are still on his lap when he finally moves. He falls back on his bed and you roll off him and do the same. 

"Do you want to go for a walk with me, ___?" Remus finally says sitting up.

"Yeah." You reply and you both sit up. He finishes getting dressed (rip) and he leads you outside and snow is beginning to fall. You walk for what felt like hours talking about the weirdest things. But they didn't seem weird when you were talking to Remus. You both smiled and laughed and everything was good. You've done several laps of the school now but you aren't even the slightest bit bored. As the night comes nearer you remember your date at the lake with Sirius. But then you remember that he said he was going to play Quiddditch so technically he cancelled not you. The two of you walk back to the castle as the sun begins to set, just before you enter the castle Remus grabs your arm and stops you. 

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He says, the awkward voice that you know returning. 

"Well yeah, you have been for the entire day." You joke making him smile ever so beautifully. 

"Um yeah. I've been meaning to tell you this for a while. Since I met you really." He jokes, trying to put humour in his voice but only get a voice crack. 

"I would have told you earlier but then you and Sirius started dating and then school go harder and." He continued, clearly avoiding what he was trying to say. 

"Just spit it out Moons." You say, forcing his eyes to meet yours. 

"What I'm trying to say is I'm hopelessly in lo-" He was cut off by a group of third years laughing and yelling. He was about to continue when Professor McGonagall hurried you up the stairs and into your own separate quarters before you could say another word. Guess you'll just have to wait until next time to hear what Remus had to say to you. You fall asleep in your bed, thinking of Remus and what an amazing day you had with him. 

As the rest of the year progressed you found yourself to be spending more time with Remus than you did with your own boyfriend. Over time You and Sirius' relationship seemed to slowly die down until the most you said to each other was at meals. As O.W.L.S. came and went Sirius made no effort to strengthen or weaken your relationship. You would be satisfied if he did anything concerning your relationship. As the summer before sixth year became closer so did you and Remus. But it all changed on the last day .

You were going to stay at Hogwarts for the summer as you always did and were walking down to the train station with the marauders. You and Remus were in deep conversation as usual and the others were talking a head of you. Sirius occasionally cast dark looks over his shoulder but you and Remus had learned to ignore that by now. Even though you and Sirius rarely talked, he still stood over you and watched you as if you were his property. If any boy was talking to you that wasn't one of the marauders, Sirius was basically on top of them. But as long as you had Remus, Sirius always stayed away. 

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Remus asked, grabbing your wrist and stopping you.You nod and smile.  

"Ill catch up with you boys later!" You yell to James, Peter and Sirius who continue walking to the train while Remus pulls you into the forest. 

"I've been meaning to tell you this for a while and I would've told you at Christmas but McGonagall interrupted." He said, with much more confidence than last time he asked to talk to you for a second. 

"What I would've said is and what I'm going to say now is..." He voice faded and his eyes dropped. You cupped his chin and your hand and lifted his eyes to meet yours. 

"I've fallen hopelessly in love with you ____ Smith." He finally spits out and you feel a wave of shock fall over you. 

"Ever since I met you I've always had a bit of a crush on you but I realized all my feelings for you when I got off the train this year. Then you started dating Sirius and my heart broke. Every moment that I saw you together made me want you more. Do you remember the first time that I took you out on a walk, that day when Sirius was yelling at me?" He says, his voice occasionally cracking. You just Nod, still taken aback.

"He was yelling at me because he knew I was in love with you. He saw the way that I looked at you and he knew how I would shut down whenever you two were together. Do you remember what I said in my defence. 'You can't just stop loving some one' and to this day, I never stopped loving you. I know that you are dating Sirius and that I can't expect you to feel the same way about me but I just wanted to tell you." Now there were tears running down his cheeks and his eyes swollen. IT wasn't until now that you knew. It wasn't until now that you saw him like this. It wasn't until now, that you thought he was beautiful while he was pouring his heart out did you realize that you too were in love with him. 

"____? Say something, anything." He begged, his eyes sparking with tears. Now that you thought about it, there was no doubt about it. You had fallen in love with your best friend. Instead of saying anything, you grab his collar and pull him closer to you. You hug him ever so tightly and don't let go. 

"I love you ____ Smith. And there's nothing you can do to change that." Remus whispers in your ear and then you too are crying. Crying for the fact that your in love with your best friend and your boyfriend will probably end him. Crying for the fact that ever since your relationship with Sirius started to fade you were in love with Remus and you didn't do anything about it. Crying for the fact that you were afraid to love him. You pull away from the hug, and instead of walking away or saying something, you press your lips against his. You melt into him as he wraps his arms around you. Something about his kiss was so different from Sirius' kiss. Sirius was firm and solid and very forward. Remus was passionate and wanting and full of desire and meaning. You pull away to see Remus smiling. The smile that you fell in love with. 

"I love you Moons." You say and lace your fingers together. You lead him out of the forest where you smile at him and walk down to the train. He smiles back and follows you. You hear the train whistle sound and then you see the marauders waiting for you patiently by the train entrance. You run up to Peter and hug him and say goodbye. You hug James and whisper Lily's address in his ear so he can write to her over the summer. He pushes you away shocked and then pulls you into an even tighter hug. He thanks you and him and Peter head onto the train. You go to hug Sirius but he just half smiles and says goodbye before turning and getting on the train. You run to Remus and hug him very tightly and whisper 'until next time' in his ear before saying goodbye and watching as he gets on the train and joins the other marauders. You wave and watch as the train diapers out of sight before returning to the castle where a very long summer awaits you.