Howling To The Moon ~ Remus Lupin x Reader

Chapter 18

After a filling breakfast, you and Sirius found yourselves alone at the Gryffindor table. The rest of the Marauders were at the other end of the table chatting away. James was staring at Lily with bug-eyes, resting his head on his arm. James' obsession to win Lily over had gotten slowly worse and now, whenever he wasn't making sex jokes about you and Sirius, he was staring or trying to flirt with her. Lily was not having it, but it was fun to watch James try. You looked over at Remus, who was staring at none other than you. He had the same expression on his face as James. You smile and wave and he snaps out of his daze and smiles back. Remus turns to Peter who was desperately trying to start a conversation with either of them, but after listening to a few of Peter's words Remus turns back to you. You decide to ignore his constant gaze as to not make it awkward. 

"Babe, I'm gonna go shower. Later we can go down to the lake..." Sirius says, planting a kiss on your forehead and leaving. He winks at Lily and pats James on the shoulder, glares at Remus who was still watching you, and smiles half-heartedly at Peter as he passes them. As he disappears around the corner you see Remus run after him along with the rest of the marauders. Now its just you at the end of the Gryffindor table, with your empty plate in front of you. You decide to go and read a book while waiting for Sirius to shower. Half an hour later, there's no sign of either of the Marauders and you were beginning to be worried. You start towards the door to the boys' rooms but stop right in front of it. 

"STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!" You hear a familiar voice yell from inside.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it, you can't just stop loving someone." A calm voice spits.

"YES YOU CAN! AND IF YOU CAN'T THAN FIGURE IT OUT. CAUSE IF YOU CAN'T YOU'LL HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH. I'm gonna go have a shower." Sirius' voice slowly calms down. You hear a door slam and a deep sigh. You wait for a couple minutes to let whoever was in there calm down. You push the door open, and to your surprise, you see Remus. Not your normal shy, quiet,  comical, awkward Remus. But a whole knew person. He is facing away from you and looking out the window. His back is covered in scars of all sizes. Some healed and some look fresh. Behind the scars you can see pounds of pure muscle and as he moves his arm. You watch as the muscles flex and contract, shifting the scars and their appearance. Remus backs up and sits down on his bed, still facing the window. You can see his face now, scarred like yours and freckled. His eyes are closed and the sunlight shines bright on his face. His hair is a mess, auburn and sandy curls and waves everywhere. Several strands hang down in front of his eyes and nose. You quietly creep around the corner making sure that he doesn't notice. You are on a diagonal from him now, hidden in the shadows of the wall. He seemed to be in the process of getting dressed before the yelling started. You knew the calm voice to be Remus' but you wondered what Sirius was accusing him of. It could have been anyone. You can see his chest now, covered in scars like the rest of him, but like his back, covered in muscles. Now that you can see, he has gone from the scrawny, awkward little stick to a very muscular, almost model like, possibly the hottest boy at school. Right there with your boyfriend. Your gaze shifts from his upper body to his lower half. He was wearing black ripped skinny jeans which hugged his leg muscles. You gaze returns to his face and watch as smile creeps across his lips, his eyes still closed and his smile grows to expose his teeth. And that was a sight. Remus, smiling his amazing smile, chest, back muscles and all. A thought pops into your head and you don't even fight to push in away. Remus Lupin is the definition of beautiful.  Everything about him is beautiful. His hair, his lips, his back, his chest, his eyes, - his scars. You smile at the thought, normally you would dismiss this as puberty at work but this, this is a miracle. 

Suddenly, he squeezes his eyes shut and runs a hand through his hair. One tear rolls down his face. One beautiful tear. Your heart begins to hurt at the sight of Remus crying and you begin to feel oddly protective of him. He puts his head in his hands and the rooms goes oddly quiet except for the sound of running water from the shower. 

"Don't worry about it." He croaks, his voice cracking silently. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean t- I was just. I wasn't sta- I'm sorry. I'll leave." You say, hurrying to the door. Before you can leave, Remus is in front of you, your chests almost touching.

"Stay." He says in a low voice. He doesn't look down at you because he's so much taller than you. A thought pops into your head, how your head would fit perfectly into the crook of his neck. But realizing that would mean cheating on Sirius, you push the thought down. You walk over and sit on his bed and he sits down beside you. 

"Did you know I was here the whole time?" You ask, ashamed of your actions. He just nods and looks at you with soft eyes. His eyes are green, with bits of blue and grey throughout the iris'. He lifts a hand to your face and cups your cheek. He traces the scar from third year with his thumb and then the one on your collarbone and the paw print on the back of your neck. 

"I'm so sorry." Remus begins to whimper.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm fine they are just scars." You reassure him grabbing his hand. Another tear rolls down his cheek and you while it away with your other hand. He leans his head in towards yours and so do you. Your heads inch closer until your lips are millimetres apart. You hear the water of the shower in the washroom turn off and the door handle begin to turn.