{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 51 - Dullness

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 51: Dullness

(Noah's POV - Sat. 1 May 2015)

Well this has been a long week made of ups and downs; many more ups than downs by the way, but still very busy and tiring so the weekend is more than welcome.

On the downside, there was Alex's departure first. Even if I haven't known him for very long, the fragility I sensed in him touched me and attracted me beyond any logic. It was like I felt close to him in a way and this is probably because we both experienced intense loneliness before we met the right persons. Whatever it is, Alex's departure has affected me a lot and I am not only talking about the stupid reaction I had on Sunday evening in the bathroom.

I didn't really mean to cut myself then; I wanted to but I wouldn't have done this knowing that Camden would show up any minute. I just needed to hold the blade in my hand and feel how much good it could do me. I thought it would soothe me enough but once I felt the cold metal between my fingers, my vision blurred and I quickly found myself heaving on the floor until Camden arrived. I saw the anger in his eyes, but not only; there was fear and disappointment as well and I hated myself so much for upsetting him.

However, I truly needed him right then. I needed him to soothe my mental distress but I also wanted to provide him with an opportunity to release some of his pressure. He had promised he would help me when I'm in need for pain, so he could only agree. It worked pretty well! The lashes of the flogger licking my skin appeased me although I wish he wouldn't have refrained on his strength like he did. I could have taken much more, but I think he is still in his let's-take-things-gradually process. As long as it allowed him to relieve part of his tension and soothed my anxiety, that was enough.

Sadly, this doesn't bring back Alex. I may sound too sensitive, but I just can't help feeling people's emotions and this just saddens me; not only for Shannon and Mark, but also for Alex. Camden told me that he ran away with cash but certainly not enough to start a new life so easily. What if he doesn't find a job and become a homeless? I lived on the streets for a year and a half, and I know how hard it is. I am not pretending to be better or stronger than him and if I managed myself, he should be able to as well, but I sincerely worry for him. I hope he returns soon.

On the upside of the week, many good things happened. First, there was the amazing weekend in the forest, one of the best I ever had. I love hiking! Camping might not be my favorite thing after having been a homeless and now that I can appreciate the comfort of a house, but camping with Camden obviously takes a different meaning. I would do that again anytime! Sex under the tent was awesome and I don't think I ever screamed with pleasure like I did that night. Knowing that we were alone, in the middle of nature, exacerbated my senses. To say the least...

There was this embarrassing moment I came into my pants without the slightest stimulation. Camden made me blow him in the middle of the afternoon, and fuck, it was so hot to do that in the open air! I got so excited that I wasn't able to control my orgasm. I did try to hide it from him, but of course, he had to find out and that earned me a punishment, which I accepted with pleasure. The spanking soothed my shame and giving him head once more made me feel redeemed for the lie by omission.

Having worked quite a lot throughout the previous week, I only had to review my notes over the weekend, but despite those moments dedicated to schoolwork, these two days just by ourselves were really great. I liked every minute of it: walking, taking pictures, kissing, having sex, cuddling in the same sleeping bag – jeez!! I loved feeling his warm body against mine!! And when it was time to go back home, I was exhausted but happy to see my puppy again. It's great that Silvo and Maria could watch over him, they are really adorable old people!