Is There Freedom?

Chapter 11

It's the day of Tucker's funeral. Exactly four days have passed since Tucker's body was found by the police. Whoever was present at the funeral, they wore the traditional attire: black and white. It was a small funeral just as I wanted. Luca, Diane, Tommy, Jacob, Pia, Father Michael, two of Tucker's friends John, Ben, and I were the only people who knew of and were present at the funeral. I didn't want to get family involved.

After an hour or two at the funeral home, we followed behind Tucker's casket to the town cemetery. Luca, Ben, John, and I rode in Luca's truck when Diane and her children rode in the green sedan. Everyone remained silent. Our souls were gloomy and resided in shadow on this day of sorrow. Today, I was laying my brother to rest for eternity. Why Tucker and not me? Why did my father take him instead of me? Why didn't I stay home that day so I could protect him?

I wished I could trade placed with Tucker. Tucker was only fifteen and had so much potential. With Tucker gone, I feel as if a bullet left an open wound through my heart. Although I still have Luca and Diane, I feel distant from reality and from everyone around me. No one really understood my pain I was suffering with. Although they say they do but it's just a bunch of lies to make me feel better of the current situation.

Ten minutes later, we arrived at the burial site. I was the first to get out of the truck. I walked alone to the edge of the casket. My right hand motioned to grab someone's hand but instead rested on the casket itself. I had a major flashbacks that Tucker and I had together. I showed a slight smile through my veil of gloom. My tears fell off my chin and lightly rained upon the wood.

I heard no words spoken. Father Michael's mouth motioned as words and sounds were projected. Instead of voices from the people around me, I heard a soft yet sweet melody playing in the air. It reminded me of the jewelry box that played music whenever the lid lifted that Tucker gave me for my ninth birthday. I was a message from Tucker; it had to be.

Before I knew it, his casket was lowered into the darkened pit. I stood in silence as my eyes gazed at the mahogany wood. Everyone around me started to leave and left me alone. I thought Luca left me there. Then I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned my gaze to see who it was.

"Let's go home Lex. We don't need to stay here any longer. We've said our good-byes to Tucker. It's time to move on," Luca said solemnly.

I didn't want to leave yet. I didn't want to leave Tucker's side. Not again. I failed him once and I felt like I would fail him again if I left his side. Luca had to pull and nearly dragged me to the truck. As I moved farther and farther away from the grave, I could feel my heart falling apart piece by piece. I was beginning to die as Tucker grew miles away from me. I was abandoning him like I did that day when he was kidnapped.

"I don't want to leave him Luca. I don't want to lose him again!" I cried.

He looked deeply into my teary eyes. I pleaded with every bit I had left in me. My eyes told it all. It told my story from within my weary gaze. "I know you don't Lex. No one wants to bury their brother or sister. Everyone must live on," Luca said trying to comfort me.

"Have you ever lost someone close to you?" I asked with tears dripping.

Luca sat there in silence. I thought he was in a deep train of thought. I was nervous. "You really want to know Lex? Do you really? I lost my mother and I'm losing my sister to leukemia!" Luca shouted in rage and sadness.

I began to cry even more. We both are losing our family. Luca is lucky to have a parent and a sibling still. I have no immediate family left. My family lives across the country and around the world. Luca has family close by. The only family that I have at this moment is Luca and Diane with her children. "I'm sorry Luca. I didn't know" I said solemnly in reply.

"It's okay babe. You're going through so much more than I since you lost almost everyone" he said sweetly after kissing my forehead.

I showed a petite smile in my distraught state. He was starting to cheer me up. "Want some inspiration?" Luca asked.

"Sure" I replied with an enlightening tone.

We got out of the truck and ran upstairs to our room. Clothes went flying all over the floor. Adrenaline was pumping through our veins. Excitement was all around us. How come everything is happening on the day of Tucker's funeral? Luca and I grew deeper in our relationship.

"You're really good at this Lex. Did you know that?" Luca asked as he tried to catch his breath.

"Thanks" I replied as my hair brushed his tanned skin.

Everything about our "little moment" was almost like a dream. I didn't want it to end. It was almost time for dinner. I remained under the covers as Luca took a soothing shower. Then my drowsiness took me into a deep slumber. I heard nothing around me. I could feel nothing around me. It was awkward and mysterious.

Everything was cold, wet, and dark. My heart raced as I walked down a dark corridor that led somewhere. At the end was a red door with a light hanging above it. Something about it compelled me to open it to discover its secret behind it. My hand grabbed the knob and turned it slowly and quietly. A cold sweat covered my face. Was something going to pop out at me or would there just be a dark room? I didn't know but my curiosity took over my body functions. The door swung open with great speed.

Something pulled me inside and the door slammed shut. I ran back to the door and tried to open it. It was locked from the outside. I was trapped. A noise came out from the darkness. A moan echoed throughout the air. I was frozen with fear. Every muscle in my body screamed. Then a ghostly hand reached out. I screamed for help but all I hear was air and no vocals. Red eyes glared at me with such disgust and anger. Had I corrupted its soul when the person was still living? "It's your time Lexis. Come join us" its raspy, zombie like voice echoed in my ears.

Then three sets of red eyes glared at me. My heart stopped. My breathing was harsh. All of the oxygen that resided in my lungs began to dissipate. I could feel myself slipping away. I was dying... No one was there to save me. Within minutes, I drew my last breath. I lay lifeless on the dampened floor. My eyes remained open and my last tears slowly fell. Memories flooded into the open air. My dreams. My future. There were fading. Luca was fading. Was I really dead? Was I really lost? I don't know if this real or not...

I could feel air pumping into my lungs. Someone's hands pressed against my chest. CPR. Everything was dark and cold. I was near death. My heart was giving out. I stopped breathing. Who was trying to save me? Luca? Diane? Who?