Oblivion (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [3]

Chapter 15 - Unhealed Wounds

                      ~~EMMA POV~~

 "Back to your seat!" Coach blew his whistle at some sophomore who'd been up and talking to one of his friends. The kid rolled his eyes and sat back down.

 I was sitting on the bench seat in the back of the bus with Scott and Stiles. I had my knees pulled up to my chest and my head resting on Stiles' shoulder. Stiles was quizzing Scott on vocabulary from his iPad to study for the upcoming PSATs. I wasn't really listening. I just can't stop thinking about everything that's happened the past few days.

 I killed someone. I ended someone's life. Sure, Brittany wasn't the nicest person around, and she did try to kill me and Stiles on the full moon, but she didn't deserve to die. Especially at my hands. These hands were meant to heal, not murder. 

 That's not even the worst part. I liked doing it. I liked the rush of power that surged through my veins as I forced her heart to stop beating. That part of me, no matter how hard I'm trying to suppress it, it keeps trying to push it's way back through. I want to tell Stiles or Eric or anyone, but I'm afraid to. They can't know how the dark space inside of me is growing. So, I lie to them. I tell them I have it all under control. But I can't get out of the dark hole. I can't ignore it when it seems to be whispering my name.

 Everytime I think about all that's happened to me, all that I've lost, it grows larger. I constantly worry that I'm going to slip again. Maybe this time it won't be someone like Brittany. It could be Eric or Scott or...Stiles. I would beg those witches to rip my heart out if I killed Stiles. 

 Trying to keep myself in control reminds me of when Stiles and I were training Scott to control his heart rate. I would ask them to do the same for me, but the consequences if I fail are far worse than what Scott could have done. I'm just going to have to keep pushing my dark thoughts away on my own. 

 Although, I do keep in mind what got Scott to control his heart rate. Allison. If thinking of Allison was Scott's anchor, then maybe Stiles is mine. So, when I get those urges to let the power take over, I think of Stiles. I think of all the time we spent together this summer and I think about the first time we kissed. It calms me down, thinking about all the amazing moments we've shared together.

 "Darach," said Stiles. The words pulled me from my thoughts and I began listening to the two. "It's a noun,"

 I could see Scott glaring at Stiles out of the corner of my eye. There was something else too, something I haven't been able to pick up on in a long time. I could smell pain, and Scott was wreaking of it.

 "We have to talk about it sometime, okay?" Stiles protested. I'd much rather talk about it than my little episode. "And we're gonna be stuck on this thing for like five hours, so why not?"

 Being on this bus, headed to some stupid and pointless Cross Country meet, was the last place I wanted to be. I should be back at home with Eric and Cora, especially after what just happened. I should have been there when it was going on, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep it under control. Maybe I could have done something, prevented something.

 Stiles gave a heavy sigh. "Alright, next word," he said. "Intransigent,"

 "Stubborn," said Scott.

 The bus hits a large bump, causing us to jerk forward. My head comes off Stiles' shoulder and smacks down on it harder than I expected. I rubbed the side of my temple as I looked over at Scott. He was clutching his side and grimacing in pain. 

 "Hey, you okay?" Stiles asked.

 Scott just lets out a soft whimper. I begin to worry, but I have to relax myself. If I get too worked up on anxiety I could lose it again. Stiles may have pulled me back enough that I don't have the urge to kill everyone in sight, but that doesn't mean I don't still feel it.