Shingeki no Kyojin (Mikasa x Eren) Troubles. . .

If Only

The sounds of soft waves, the sounds of flaps made from the free birds.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the air surrounding the ocean, and slowly exhaled all my worries.

Seeing the sun at the end of the sea, I hugged my legs between my arms as if wrapped into a ball.

This is what I liked.

The lonely abandoned beach was empty. No footprints, no voices, nothing.

I could hear the sounds of a boy humming behind me. The nearer he came, the closer it got.

My head layed against my knees and I could feel the boy sit next to me, with his legs parted out. The water able to reach up to his calves.

"Feeling relaxed?" he asked.

"Yea...you? How's the walk?" I said turning my head to the boy I had loved, still loved.

"It's relieving" He took a deep breath, "it's just nice to have a walk around the beach with the cool breeze, calm waves, no voices of people except us".

"Yeah.." my voiced trailed off.

The sound of waves took over the awkward silence growing between Eren and I.

Eren stood up and reach his hands down. "Mind going on a walk with me?".

I looked up and nodded. Grabbing his hands, we stood up and began walking down the beach.

As I looked over at the end of the sea, my guts in me felt notted as if I wanted to leave this place and never return. Wanting to leave to another city. I wanted to abandon every one of my last memories here and just...start a new life. No one to interrupt, no one to disturb my emotions or toy around with me. Just me.

That would be easy right?

"Lost in thoughts?" Eren interrupted.

Gazing up at him, I could see his pretty eyes, glowing green from the reflecting of sunlight.

"Yea.." I muffled.

"Oh. Bothering you much?" He wondered.

"Yeah" I responded.

"Mind telling me?" He asked curiously.

"No it's fine" I pondered.

Little did he know, I was thinking about him. He and Levi. What was I made of? What was I used for? Why didn't I think before?

Questions rushing into my mind, playing games and tricks.

"Oh ok. It's fine if you don't wanna share it. But just to tell you that if you're having problems, I'm always here for you. I will listen to you, okay?" he sounded concerned.

I looked over to the side of the waves, "No really, I'm fine. No need, but thank you" I forced a smile.

"Oh..ok".

I took steps a little quicker from Eren. Only because my mind started filling itself with questions that should have been answered long before. Why did I start overthinking next to the man I love? I was being stupid.

Minutes later, I found myself way ahead of Eren. I could hear his faint voice complaining.

"Mikaaasssaaaaa" His voice continued.

"Come backkkkk" He said.

Ignoring him, I walked towards the side of the waves and stood in the water. My feet had gotten soaked.

"Why you suddenly stop?" Eren asked.

"I don't know? Maybe to feel the water? What else" I said sounding irritated.

"Ok geez, why sound mad?" He scoffed.

I looked back down into the water and crossed my arms in annoyance

'Because you're a fucking jerk' I thought to myself.

"Someone's mad huh? Literally like 5 minutes ago, you were just walking down the beach with me, chilled" He pointed back where we walked.

"Ok well that was 5 minutes ago! That was me 5 minutes ago! This is me after the 5 minutes passed! God grow up and stick with the present" I argued.

"Ok well damn...you're overexaggerating the past and present. Use it right." He said in a joking voice.

"BUT I JUST DID" I yelped a bit.

"Are you on your period? Jeez" He played.

I hit his shoulder and he laughed "I'm just playingggg".

And I continued hitting his shoulder until he apologized.

Until then, the sun went down and the stars were out.
We sat side by side on the still warm soft sand.

I was at ease. My mind cleared again.

"Sometimes, don't you feel like driving so far away where no one's able to find you so you can just like...find who yourself is and what you actually want to do in life?" I blurted.

"Well..yeah. You know sometimes the people around you isn't able to really...cure your emotions? or whatever your feeling. Because sometimes people leave you and then there's no one there for you" He said faintly.

"right" I agreed. "When you're there for someone, they're never there for you".

"yea.." his voice trailed off.

The soft breeze hit against my face.

And then I felt Eren's head on my lap by then.

"I'm getting tired" He yawned.

"Maybe we should leave" I thought.

"Want to?" He asked. "No...maybe later. We have to appreciate the stars for a bit" I said.

"Alright"

We both layed down and watched the stars. Maybe even talking deeply into our feelings without noticing.

-

1 a.m.

"Hey..thanks for today" I thanked as I got out the car.

"Yeah. Glad we got to hang out again" He smiled.

"Well, I had fun. I finally got to ease myself after such stress" I sighed.

"No problem. Wanna hang out next time?" He offered.

"Yeah that's fine by me".

"Ok then. Well...goodnight" He trailed off.

"Goodnight" I replied and went into my house.

Warm air hit my face as I enter my room.

I sighed.

It was late but still, I went to go wash up.

After finishing, I turned on my phone and saw a text from Eren saying "I had fun today :)". I replied with the same old boring word "same" following with a "goodnight".

I turned off my phone and set the light out.

It's not that I slept, I stayed up in my thoughts. It was like any other night. I couldn't be cured. I had scars from people I used to love.

Being with Eren was hard. If we were together right now, we would have been doing things together. Maybe if we were at the beach, we'd been holding hands, holding each other, kissing and showing each other so much love.

I blamed myself. I made this all happen. I never had been treated right? I had 2 men that cheated on me. The difference was that I cheated on the 1st.

I cried onto my sheets. If only all this hadn't happen, things would've been the same.

And I wanted everything to be the same.

A/N:yo yo wazzup y'all. Im back...i might make a new book but maybe it'll only be like 3 long chapters loool wouldn't that be better? Which ship should I? Prob annie and armin ooooo