Etude of Memories

Chapter 22

Daegu, Present Day

Tiffany parked her car in front of an alley. She sat still in her car for a few minutes. She stared at that dark alley before she decided to get out of her car and started to walk towards the alley.

Tiffany didn't understand why she had to come to Taehyung's old house again. That house must be empty now... Or perhaps, another family had moved in and become its new owner. She wouldn't see Taehyung who used to welcome her with his rectangle smile there, she wouldn't see Aegi that would bark and run to her everytime he heard the sound of Tiffany's footsteps outside the fence.

Tiffany felt a painful thorn twinged her heart when she remembered Aegi. That dog had died nine years ago. When Hwayoung's brother robbed and stabbed Taehyung's mother, Aegi was there with that poor woman. He fiercely attacked the robber, but Hwayoung's brother stabbed Aegi too. The dog and his master both met their cruel fate that night.

Tiffany stood before a small house. That house kept so many memories of her and Taehyung and Aegi. They always laughed together in that house. She still could taste the hot kimchi ramyeon that Taehyung proudly made for her. Tiffany was glad and grateful to see that small house didn't change at all. Someone must've lived there now. The gate was ajar. And the lights were on.

Tiffany was tempted to see how that house look like inside. She peeked through the gap between the gates.

A man was standing in the front yard. He was staring at that house's rooftop.
Tiffany was shocked. She recognized that man, although she could only see his back.

"Tae-Taehyung...."

That man turned around and saw Tiffany. For a few seconds, they could only look at each other without saying a word.

Her sadness, her anger, her love, and her longing for Taehyung collided. Tiffany ran to Taehyung and began to faintly punch his chest.

"I know... I know everything...."

Taehyung didn't say a word. He let Tiffany outpour all of her feelings. All feelings that she had secretly kept for ten years.

"I know that you and your mother had lied to me.... But why? Why, Taehyungie?" Tiffany looked into Taehyung's eyes.

Taehyung still didn't say anything. He just coldly returned Tiffany's gaze at him.

"Why did you have to kill Hwayoung? He wasn't our classmate anymore... Why did you have to kill him?"

Tiffany could feel Taehyung's heartbeat inside his chest. His heartbeat had always been so loud. How could she have forgotten how it beat when they first met again after ten years? Those heartbeats still sounded the same. And now, after she could feel those heartbeats again, after she could recognize those heartbeats again, she broke down and cried.

"You shouldn't have killed Hwayoung and ruined our lives like this...."

Taehyung smirked. "I had to kill him... He had said something that I could never forgive....."

Tiffany looked up and her eyes met with Taehyung's cold eyes. "Why didn't you think of me when you decided to kill him? Why didn't you think of what would happen to me if you killed him? What would happen to us? Why didn't you think of us?" Tiffany's tears had ruined her make up.

Taehyung replied, "not everything is about you, Tiffany."

Tiffany couldn't believe how cold and how heartlessly Taehyung said those words to her. But she would ignore it. She knew her Taehyung was only confused.

"But you should've thought about me! You should've thought about our... Our child....." She sobbed sorrowfully.

"But that child was never born. I don't know what you did with it, but I am glad you didn't give birth to it."

"PLAAAK!" Tiffany slapped Taehyung's face. Trace of tears obviously still left in her eyes. "You don't know what I've been through for what you did and for your stupidity."

Taehyung glanced at Tiffany heartlessly.

"For years, I mourned for you and for our baby. For years I had lived in a deep sorrow where I could never even talk about the pains in my heart. The pains of losing my boyfriend and my baby... You have no idea how painful that is." Tiffany's lips were trembling.

Taehyung scoffed. "Seems to me you've lived really well. You've got everything you'd dreamt of. Don't tell me that you're suffering, cuz you dont look like that."

Tiffany didn't know which one was more painful; Taehyung's cold eyes or his false accusation. If only that man knew how difficult it was for Tiffany to build her life after she lost her baby and heard about Taehyung's death. Tiffany had had a mental breakdown. For almost a year she could barely get up from her bed. She could barely leave her room. She even often thought of ending her own life.
Until her father and her sister reminded her that her life hadn't been over yet. Taehyung wouldn't want to see her like that. And then Tiffany remembered Taehyung. She remembered the bright smile her boyfriend had used to show her. Taehyung had always been there for her. He would have always protected her. He would have sacrificed his everything just to make sure Tiffany would be safe. And even in their most difficult moments, Taehyung had never lost his smile. He must have wanted her to live well. If Taehyung could only know that the reason why Tiffany worked really hard to reach her dreams as an actress and a singer was Taehyung. Because Tiffany wanted Taehyung to see that she was happy, that she lived her life well. Because Tiffany wanted to meet Taehyung again in the afterlife and told him that she was happy because she knew Taehyung had never stopped watching her from above and that she wanted to make him proud.

But why couldn't Taehyung see that? Why did he come back only to hurt her like this?

"Why did you come back? If you wanted me to believe that you'd died, then why did you stop pretending that you're dead?" Tiffany painfully whispered. She couldn't even look Taehyung in the eye. His cold stare would only hurt her more deeply.

Taehyung snorted. "Don't get too cocky, Tiffany. I was in jail for years, I didnt know you had been a famous star. I didn't know you were in this company. I needed a job, that's why I am here. Had I known you were also here, I'd look for another job. But here we are, there's nothing I can do. And I just can't lose this job."

Tiffany was really dumbfounded by everything she had just heard. Even in her worst nightmare, she had never imagined Taehyung would hurt her like this. Maybe it would be better if Taehyung stabbed her with a knife rather than to stab her with his words.

Tiffany sadly looked into Taehyung's eyes. It was painful to see his cold eyes, but Tiffany had to look him in the eye, "why does it look like you hate me when it should be me who hated you for all your lies?"

Taehyung grinned, "does it look like I hate you? Hmm, I dont mind. If you want to hate me, go on and do it. We're not who we were before. We've led two different lives. Just throw away all your sentimental feelings and memories. Life taught me that nothing lasts forever, especially people's feelings."

But Tiffany knew she could never hate Taehyung. Her love for him was really pathetic, but she could never hate that man. The more Tiffany tried to hate Taehyung, the more she hated her foolish heart.

Tiffany wiped away her tears. Her Taehyung had come back. He was still alive. But his love for her had gone. His precious love had vanished. There was no longer Tiffany Hwang in his heart. From now on, Tiffany had to find a new meaning in this life.

And her tears still didn't stop running down even after she left Taehyung's house, even after she had left Daegu and returned to Seoul.

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Taehyung stared at Tiffany's shadow that quickly disappeared when she left his house. Taehyung sighed. He looked at the ground, and accidentally his teardrops fell.

Taehyung hated himself. He really hated himself at that moment. He made Tiffany cry again. He had hurt her again. And he really hated himself because he had to make that girl cry.[]

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