Hope for Our Ass After All

t w e n t y

john

Lafayette had just scrambled out the door. John stood uncomfortably for a moment before moving toward Alex and his shared room. "Hey, Alexander."

Alex glanced up from where he was on his laptop. "Yo, Johnny."

John moved toward the cage to feed his turtle and then glanced back at Alex. "Lafayette and Hercules are going on a date tonight."

Alex nodded, not really listening. John sighed. Their little 'pretend to date' plan hadn't worked, so an idea sprang into John's head this time. "What if we followed them? And hid, so they couldn't see us?" John picked up Tobillo and stared at him for a second before putting the turtle down.

"Why?"

"So we could spy on them!"

Alexander hit save and shut his laptop, coming up close to John. "Whatever you want, Johnny," he replied, and John's face went the color of roses.

—

hercules

The car ride was awkward. "Lafayette, I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Hercules muttered finally, gripping the steering wheel.

Lafayette looked something along the lines of surprise. "Non, non, mon ami. It was me who asked you out, no?"

Hercules didn't protest.

Silence followed their words again, but it was less uncomfortable. "Is that the restaurant up ahead?" Lafayette murmured, his voice a little shaky.

"Y-yeah. Pizza night. Woo." Hercules laughed a little and Lafayette joined in. "Great." They pulled up and unbuckled, Hercules opening the door for Lafayette.

The pair went inside. "Reservation for Mulligan."

"Right this way!" the waitress said, seemingly too chipper for today. Lafayette and Mulligan shared a glance.

They sat down and she handed them menus, grinning at Hercules for longer than a stranger should. Lafayette coughed loudly and Hercules was glad for his interruption.

—

lafayette

Gladly, the date was going okay based off of their awkward time last night. Actually, it was going really well. They were excited and hitting it off. The waitress came by to give them their desserts, and for a second, she pulled out a paper napkin.

Wait—

"My name's Jess. Call me, 'kay?" the waitress purred, passing the napkin—now adorned in numbers—to the man sitting across from Lafayette.

Anger bubbled up inside him. Had she had the nerve to do that? On a date, no less?

"Excuse me, mon amie," Lafayette hissed in a rather cold voice. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't give Hercules your number on our date."

Jess frowned. "What do you mean?" She passed them their ice creams. "You two can't be dating. You're both guys! I thought you were going out as pals."

Thank god I'm passing. And then... Oh, merde, I hope not.

Before the salty piece of bread could reply, Hercules nodded. "Nah, girl, we're dating. Actually, he's my boyfriend. So thanks, but no thanks. Continue about your business." He waved her away.

Relief buried itself in Lafayette. "Thanks, Herc, for what you did."

"Hey, I wasn't gonna see some girl be homophobic like that."

'''

After they paid and left—not before complaining about customer service—they strolled outside to get Herc's car from the valet. "Uh, Hercules, thanks for the thing inside, but we're not really dating, right, mon ami?"

Hercules looked hurt; but it might've been just the way the light was hitting his face. "Unless you want us to be."

Lafayette's breath caught in his throat. "Of course, mon cheri." Hercules swept Lafayette into a hug and then kissed him.

There they stood, in the darkness outside under a single streetlamp, kissing with passion and love... and relief. That everything was perfect.

"Uh, sir? Your car's here."

so, you guys know how john and ham sandwich were gonna spy on these two fabulous cheeseballs? next chapter is the same thing, but from their pov instead of one of mullette's

yay