Hope for Our Ass After All

f i v e

john

"...and he kissed her hand! Why is he flirting with her? Doesn't he know she's out of his league?" John finished his speech with a spit of annoyance. He'd artfully avoided telling Hercules about his never-ending crush on Alexander, and instead ranted about him being a flirt.

Hercules seemed oblivious to his avoidance. "Lafayette called them hot. Just flat out went," He paused to take a deep breath, and then, in the shittiest French accent possible, quoted, "'They're, how you say, hot.' I don't understand what's gotten into them!"

John nodded thoughtfully. His head was clouded with jealously, but some logic got through. "Maybe it's just them meeting the sisters for the first time? I mean... I assume meeting them again would be shocking. I guess." He didn't believe himself.

And even as Hercules nodded and they strolled back inside, John knew he was wrong.

—
lafayette

He was gay. He wasn't smitten with the three girls—though if he wasn't, his French ass would be a lot closer to them—but it seemed like Alexander was.

With Eliza, specifically.

Lafayette felt something—an emotion—radiating off John. He was good at reading emotions, unless they were directed at him. Then he was oblivious.

It was jealousy. John was jealous of Alex and Eliza.

Of course.

He turned to Hercules, who had the same expression. Was he also jealous of the two? How did that make sense? Did... oh, no... did Hercules have a crush on Alexander? Or maybe Eliza. Either way, Lafayette was vissé.

"Hey, Herc?" he whispered, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in his heart.

Hercules didn't reply.

"Mon ami," Lafayette hissed, a little louder. "I think John likes Alexander."

Hercules glanced at him and his face softened in almost... amusement.

"Really? But Alex was flirting with Eliza."

Lafayette shrugged. "He could be bi or something, mon ami. We have to get them together!"

Hercules raised an eyebrow. "We do?"

"Yes." Some argument you got there, Lafayette, he snapped to himself, but it seemed to work.

It also seemed to distract Hercules from whatever was burning him up.

Actually, Hercules had gotten over it.

He waved to Peggy, who broke away from her conversation with an irritated John and headed toward them.

"Hey," he whispered, his accent thick. "We should make a group chat to get Alex and John together, no? They'd be cute, yes?"

Hercules snorted.

Peggy's eyes grew round. "I've been waiting for someone to say that!" She gasped. "Here, give me your phone numbers. I'm going to make a group chat."

Lafayette passed Peggy his phone.

He felt John glance at him in surprise, and Lafayette blinked at him and mouthed, It's not what it looks like.

Really? Came John's silent response.

After she passed his phone back to him, the Frenchman received a text.

john & lafayette
turtleboi: dude why were you getting peg's number???
french baguette: im her friend, she wanted my phone number
french baguette: i wasn't hitting on your best friend, john
turtleboi: ...okay...

Lafayette glanced up at John and rolled his eyes. John gave him a relieved look and went back to silently being jealous over Alexander, who's face was... very close to Eliza's.

Zut. "Peggy? Add me and Hercules to a group chat," Lafayette hissed quickly. "Because we can start screaming about Alex and Eliza..."

Peggy looked shocked, but she pulled herself together. "Gotcha."

peggy & lafayette & hercules
pegleg named the chat Alex is Gay for John
pegleg: uH, guys?
horses aren't my type: yes?
french baguette: what, mon ami?
pegleg: they're about 2 kiss

Lafayette glanced up from his phone. They were. "Zut." He grabbed Hercules' shoulder, bracing himself for impact... and then someone barged in, with a few people tagging along.

"Jefferson?" came John's voice, breaking the chatter.

The tall one that looked like Lafayette grinned. "That's my name, Laurens, don't wear it out."

Hercules leaned close. "That's Thomas Jefferson. The little guy coughing is James Madison. We think they're gay. And then the other dude is Aaron Burr."

Lafayette committed this to memory.

"Hey wait, I saw you talking to the sisters on the corner yesterday," Alexander commented, facing his words to Burr.

Aaron fidgeted. "Yeah, that was me."

Thomas broke in. "What are you nerds doing here? Gossiping?"

"None of your business, Jefferson," Angelica spat, narrowing her eyes.

"I can make it my business." Thomas glanced around coldly before grabbing his comrades and strolling away.

"Hey, guys?" Lafayette said, once they were gone. The group glanced at him. "That guy looked exactly like me with my hair down."