Let Me Be the One to Save You

Chapter 52 - March 23rd

March 23rd 2013

Dear Grace,

Hey Grace, it's Ashton. I'm writing from America! It's so cool, I wish you were here. The tour didn't start very long ago, It's been about a month and a half and we've already finished the UK leg of the tour. Time goes so fast! It's really crazy over here, there's a lot more fans than we thought. One Direction are smashing it and I know you don't like their music, but I think you'd get on well with them personally. It's incredible being on such a big stage, playing to so many people everynight. It's really tiring though. How have you been since we left? How was Paramore? I know you said you didn't want me to contact you or whatever, but I just...I miss you baby. I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around you and fall asleep listening to your heartbeat. Lola says you aren't replying to her either. You're killing her, Grace. Luke misses you too, infact we all do. Please reply to me, or at least one of the others, I'm begging you. Love you beautiful x

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I sighed as I sat at the kitchen table, trying to get through my Maths assignment, but it was no use. I was struggling like crazy, and it's only the first term back. Year 12 was incredibly stressful so far. People say it's the best year of your life, but for me it's the worst. I've got so much to catch up on in so little time. It's practically impossible.

"Grace," Stella walked into the kitchen. I dropped my pen roughly on the book, then closed my eyes and started rubbing my head. I've had a pounding head ache for the last three hours which is probably because of lack of sleep. It's not my fault. I have so much to do, and when I look at my bed, I just back away and refuse it, "Have you eaten yet?" She asked worriedly, "Jason and I are worried about you"

"I'm fine," I said a little too sharply, "I just...I just need to get this assignment done,"

She stared at me for a few seconds before letting out a long sigh, "This came in the mail today...I think it's Ashton" She smiled, passing me a letter. I slowly took it and looked at the hand written side. It was my adress and postcode and all that, but the writing was definitely Ashtons.

"Thanks," I told her, dropping the letter on the table next to me, then picking up my pen and reading over the question again. I could feel her eyes on me, but ignored it. I didn't need help. I was doing fine. I didn't need friends, or a social life. I needed to graduate with a good enough OP score.

Lately I've been feeling pretty down with myself. It wasn't the same though. I don't think I'm relapsing, I think it's just the stress getting to me. It was tough because the only people I had at school was Jordan, who was a great friend, but she was it. Honestly, I was missing Ashton like crazy. It's beginning to physically hurt talking about him, or hearing about him. He's part of the reason why I can't sleep at night. Everytime I close my eyes, he's there. Our moments together are right there. Mostly the ones where we talked about how he would be with me 24/7 through grade 12, trying to help me out, or that one time where we were talking about our future at like 3am. I know it was wrong, but I can't help but think he broke our promise. I know thats stupid. I'm the one that broke things off but I just feel the responsibility of going through such a hard year by myself is too much.

Eventually I gave up and walked up to my bedroom. I felt like I needed to listen to some music to clense my body of all homework. I'll finish it all later. I grabbed my ipod and it's doc then walked into Jordan's room. She was sitting on her bed eating some sort of red lolly and writing in a lined book, "Hey you" She smiled.

"Hey is it okay if I use your bath?" I asked.

She shrugged, "If you want, but just letting you know there isn't much bubble bath left so use wisely okay?" She asked. I nodded before walking into her bathroom and plugging in my ipod doc. It wasn't on loud, considering Jordan was doing homework and I didn't want to disturb her.