theirs // S.W.

destination.

It's been months. Five months to be exact.. Since the shoot i'm yet to see sammy. I can't emotionally take it. He deleted our flipagram.. in my guess making our break up public almost. My heart ached when i saw the countless tweets in my mentions about it. To distract myself, Mia has booked countless shoots for me, and I've filmed for Justin's video.. yet i still feel empty.. I've dove into wedding planning.. And now it's August.. My dad and Mia's wedding.. they were doing a destination wedding.. you guessed it.. Puerto Rico. The flight was easy.. North and I slept the whole time. Our hotel was BEAUTIFUL. it's the venue where everything was gonna be held. As beautiful and excited as i was.. i was terrified. Nate and Nat constantly teased me saying Sammy was gonna be in the wedding party.. so i didn't know if he honestly was or not.. i wasn't ready to face him. Once we arrived at the hotel i helped Mia make sure everything was perfect for the rehearsal dinner. The bridal party was just Nat and I.. i knew for a fact that Nate was her partner. my dad leaving mine as a surprise. I was praying it was gonna be North.. Our gowns were a light blue color, and they had thin spaghetti straps, were fitted till the butt and flowed. Mia's was identical, but white. Her grandma sewed her veil. It was absolutely beautiful. Mia and i went to get ready, and i slipped into a floral romper with heels. I let my curls breathe because it was gonna get done the next day. I did glowy makeup, so my highlight would shine in pictures, and applied some lashes. I met Nate and Nat in the hall, and they were being all cute. I felt an instant pang of jealousy.. I still missed him. I walked ahead of them, going to the hall where our party was. I greeted family, plastering on a fake smile. My grandma must've noticed. She sat next to me and tapped my nose.

"Hey pretty girl.." she said. I gave her a small smile.

"Hi lela.." i said.

"what's wrong?" she asked. I shook my head.

"How's sammy." she asked.

"i wouldn't know.." i whispered. I broke down to her.. telling her every single detail. Not a tear shed. i felt numb. She stroked my hair and I closed my eyes.

"it'll work itself out.. watch" she said. I slowly nodded. I noticed North getting excited and full on sprinting.
why is he so excited?
My gaze followed him, and he jumped into his arms..

Sammy's arms. He hugged him, holding him insanely tight. He kissed Norths head, and his eyes met mine. He was more built since i had last seen him.. Hair freshly cut. He looked amazing.. but his eyes were sad.. I looked over at my grandma, and she was gone, going to greet him. My dad tapped his glass, and everyone looked at him.

"Were gonna begin dinner.. everyone have a seat." he said. I took my seat between Mia and Nat.. Sammy taking the spot next to my dad and Nate.. of course he was my partner.. Nat gave a speech and nudged me. I stood up and held my glass. I had to give a speech. i cleared my throat. And smiling. It felt genuine for the first time in forever.

"What can i say.. My dad is my hero.. always has been.. always will be.. After my mom died.. I just wanted him to be happy.. I wanted him to be whole.. I saw him a his darkest.. and during his darkest.. A sense of light walked in.. Our own little personal ray of light.. Mia.. I love you.. thank you so much for being the thing that made my dad whole again.. Thank you for loving my sister and I like we were yours.. thanks for being a manager.. a friend.. a mother.. thank you for my brother.. I honestly can only pray.. that I'll have a happy ending like you guys.." I said. Tears rimmed my eyes and I looked down, avoiding Sammy's gaze. I looked up, smiling.

"To Mia and Tyler" I said raising my glass. The crowd copied my motion and we took a sip. Nate gave a speech and then Sammy stood up.

"Tyler.. thank you for being another father to me.. thank you for allowing me to love Nicole unconditionally. thank you both for giving me an image of what to aspire to in my marriage. i love you both,. and i wish you the best of luck." he said. I looked at my hands. The entirety of dinner i played with my food, unable to eat. Then rehearsal began. i pulled my dad aside and crossed my arms.

"why." i said. he shrugged.

"Listen.. i know shit gets hard.. but you love each other and need to work this out.." he said.

"but dad.." i started. he held his hand up.

"it won't kill you to talk." he said. everyone joined us and we lined up. the wedding planner instructed us on how to stand and what order we were in. Mia and her dad. Nat and Nate. Sammy and I. He held his arm out, and I wrapped my hand around it. I stared forward and he cleared his throat.

"Great speech.." he said.

"thank you.." i said.

"did you practice?" he asked.

"nope." i replied.

"right.." he said. We began walking in slow. My heart pounded just at the idea of holding him. We ran through practice and after, i went to my room. my heart was pounding in my ears. Tears welded up in my eyes and i slowly slid onto the floor. Breaking down. Mia had a key to my room and walked in.. her jaw dropping. she sat in front of me.

"Nic.." she whispered.

"Mia i can't.. i can't do this.." i cried.

"Do what baby.." she said.

"i can't be around him.. I can't do it.." i choked out. She pulled me close and i sobbed on her chest.

"It's gonna be okay... look at me.." she said. i looked up at her and she wiped my face.

"I know it hurts.. God do i know it hurts.. but you NEED to talk to him Nic.. It'll benefit both of you.. this is unhealthy.. it's unhealthy to stay away from someone you love that much.." she whispered.

"i can't.. I just can't.. he wants Stassie.. I just can't.." i said.

"Nicole if he wanted her, wouldn't he be with her already?" she asked. I stared at her and she kissed my head.

"Go get a bottle of water from the shop downstairs. You need to go to bed.." she said. She helped me stand up and I walked out my room. My face was tear stained and I wiped it. i could tell I was super puffy. It was ALWAYS obvious when I cried. I made my way down the hall, and bumped right into Sammy. He has grabbed me to keep me from falling, and once he saw it was me, his hands seemed to drop to my waist.

"oh sorry..-" he started, but stopped, seeing my face.

"you okay...?" he asked. I went to speak, but simply nodded.

"Emotional about tomorrow.." i said. he slowly nodded.

"Night Nic.." he said. I bit my lip and moved out of his grasp.

"Night Sammy.." I whispered walking away from him.

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-xhalegilinsky