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Chapter 17
When I was younger, alone and tired of being kept to my self, a bit away from my sisters' strong bonds with each other, my mom would always tell me to close my eyes and think of my favorite color. Blue, it was at the time. It's my favorite color still.
"Any shade, Mom?"
"Yes, any shade of blue. Imagine you are on a wide stretch of blue, and you are breathing in the calmness of it and absorbing the essence of blue. You are strolling gleefully from the palest shade of blue and slowly a darker shade of blue, and finally, you have reached your favorite shade of blue. You are lying on it. The blue color soothes you and calms your nerves..."
I later found out that she got that whole speech from a book she had read a few days before. But, I couldn't deny, it helped without a doubt.
Being in this blue sea, wrapped perfectly around my petite figure made me feel strange. It was like... I was getting lost in the situation.
"Count to three, Janie."
My dad had another method on the other hand.
"One, two--"
"Slowly, sweetie. Again."
Count to three. After each number, tell yourself three things that you are most afraid of. Ask yourself what you're going to do to. Eventually, you're going to answer your own questions.
"One..."
What am I supposed to do?
"Two..."
I'm afraid of what.. or who I'm going to see.
"Three."
I feel lost.
I stared at myself in the mirror. My fully made-up face looked solemn, still, emotionless. I closed my eyes.
I can do this. This is my life. I control what I'm going to do. I know what I have to do.
**
I arrived at my old house, still being occupied by my six siblings, all of which, were more than happy to see me.
"JANIE!!" Aurora jumped onto me.
I back up with a grin to see her fully suited in her red dress. "Hey, sis."
"You seem all depress-y! Have you been feeding yourself well? You look thin!" Eva ran up behind us.
I nodded, "Guys, I'm fine. Totally healthy."
Tarynne ran up as well, "Janie!"
Next thing I knew, it was like a family reunion.
Even with everyone around me, I felt my eyes being restless. I knew who they were looking for, but I just didn't want to admit it.
Noelle tapped on my shoulder, "Janie."
"Hm?" I asked, my eyes still searching.
She cleared her throat, "Um, your date? The guy that you promised to meet?" She smirked.
I rolled my eyes, "Okay, where is he?" I said with a slight bitterness in my voice.
"Hi, Janie."
I whipped around.
"Hi, John."
Chapter 18
John Gomez hadn't changed one bit since the last time I'd seen him. He still had that goofy smirk on his face, complimenting the empty thick, white framed glasses that hung from the edge of his nose. His hair was slightly messy, yet styled all the same. He looked very handsome in his black tuxedo.
I instantly felt the temperature of the room spike. Oddly, I became really aware of what I looked like.
I tucked my hair behind one of my ears. "I-I... How are you?" I stuttered.
John chuckled at my nervousness. "I've been alright. And you?"
"Good." I nodded. "I was thinking--"
"Do you wanna dance?" John cut me off.
I looked at John for a good minute before replying. "Well, I, um, I'm kind of waiting for someone."
"Ahh, lucky guy number seven?"
I bobbed my head, "Yup."
"I bet he's a jerk." He smiled.
"You know who it is?"
John laughed, "You really don't know?"
I shook my head, "Clearly no!"
He raised his hand. "Guilty."
I scrunched my face. "WHOA WHOA WHOA." I turned to Noelle. "John is my seventh date?!"
Noelle hushed me. "We all chose him! Don't think too into it!"
"How can I not think too into it?! You chose my best friend!" I shrieked.
"Shut up and dance with him!" Noelle pushed me with full force into John. He caught me before I hit the ground.
"Let's dance." He grinned then pulled me off to the dance floor.
John and I swayed to Falling Slowly as it played overhead.
Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have the choice. You've made it now.
"You look beautiful." John whispered. His hand stayed at the crook of my back never sliding any lower.
I felt my cheeks fill with a dark shade of red. "Th-thanks." I avoided his gaze.
I felt John's free hand move up my neck and to my cheek. "Are you ashamed that they chose me?" He spoke so softly.
"I don't know." I looked up at him. "I just wasn't ready to find out it was you, I guess."
John dropped his arms to his side. We stopped swaying.
"John," I started. "Why are you the last guy that they chose? Why didn't they just choose you first and get it over with?"
"Oh, come on, Janie." He scoffed. "Don't lie, you would never date me. All the guys they chose, you could have easily run away with them, but like Noelle said--they all have flaws."
I just stared. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
"Jean Paul--you two have nothing in common except for your siblings. Joel--You two are looking for the real thing, but you don't see it in each other. Jon--he was in love already." John almost yelled from being so frustrated.
"And what's your flaw?" I raised my voice. "Don't lecture me about relationships!"
"I'm not lecturing you! I almost turned them down when they told me about this!"
"What's your flaw then?" I lowered my voice.
John sighed. "I'm the best friend. Why would you fall for me?"
I felt tears welling up behind my eyes. "You're an idiot." I pushed past him and ran to the backyard.
